Recurrent Miscarriage Thread

[Squiggy]

Squig, nope same photo. But yes we used to converse a lot back then in 2014. I feel so awful the way you're feeling babe. Even more so worried about the suicidal thoughts. You really need to talk to someone, hell I'm here I would give you my number to call me if you need someone to talk to who understands. Or to listen. I got you. you have a precious baby that loves and adores you, imagine you not there for him. How awful would life be for him. Moms are our children's whole universe. Your heart beats. It has purpose. You have purpose. If its over with your hubby life goes on. Find resources in your area that will help with the transition. Wish you were in Florida. My home is big enough. I just wish o could be there for you. You've got a wealth of support here darling. I know it all seems grim right now but trust me there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You'll make it through.

Thank you. The feelings are all over the map. It's easy to feel like no one cares when everything becomes so dark. My son has been giving me a lot of attention. I need that from him!!! He's so important to me.
I've been looking at homes in Florida for some time, it does require a lot of research, I'm from PA and I know nothing about living elsewhere. People keep saying I have to just up and run from my husband at the cost of everything. But that cost would be my son. It's not a chance I can take. He'll get me into a court and I'll be the "wrong one." I know family court!!! No justice will be done there. I've tried getting help, they turn it around on me. So I stay in a situation that destroys lives long term. He's the reason I have a mental health record, so they tried to use that against me. ME, the one asking for the help! He was never officially diagnosed and he's manipulative. So I'M the disturbance. I'm the one they investigate when HE was the one called on. Nobody's taking my son from me! And I'm not the type to know how to go into hiding.

 

[Roset2209]

I had two miscarriages with in six months of each other and I was guttered, it still makes me cry every time I think about it. They both happened around the three month mark and it really hurt me and my oh who I’ve only seen cry a few times most of which were due to the mcs. Even though what I went through hurts me every day I know that at that time in my life I wasn’t ready for children. The one thing that constantly scares me is that it will happen again as it happened to my mum five times before she was able to conceive my eldest sister.

 

[blueblue]

Roset, I'm so sorry for your losses. It's such a painful thing to go through, especially when they are so close together.

 

[hmmohrma]

I was so convinced after three years of trying, losses, procedures, a diagnosis, the okay to try again, and a successful pregnancy on cycle 2 that having one more baby would be a breeze. Here I am, cycle 6 and what looks like miscarriages number 2 (5 in total including before our rainbow). My hpt are getting lighter and betas were only 19.9 at 4w2d today. I’m sure it will be lower in two more days. This board helps the 1% feel less lonely. Of course everyone is pregnant again that was pregnant when I was with my rainbow, and it’s just infuriating. Why, why, why? TTC phase should be fun, but I just want one more loving baby and to be done with this phase of my life.

 

[blueblue]

Hmmohrma, I'm so sorry for your loss, I hope it works out for you soon.

 

[xMissxZoiex]

I don't think this thread is active anymore but I'm really struggling right now!, Why me?, Why so many losses?, Why can't just have a healthy full term baby! :'(

 

[dairymomma]

It hasn't been as active as it has in the past but that doesn't mean some of us don't check in on it occasionally. I'm so sorry you are struggling. It's been a long road for me too and I've wondered the same thing. Why me? Why us? What is wrong with me? I've felt like a failure as a woman because I can't do pregnancy as easily as most women can. And to be honest, I still don't have all the answers.

It's hard. It's SO hard. I've had 13 first tri miscarriages, 1 second tri miscarriage, and a stillbirth at 20 weeks. I've wondered what is wrong with me. Why am I so defective? Why am I being punished? What did I do to deserve this? Why is it so dang hard for me to do this one thing that I should be able to do so easily?

But here's the thing-miracles DO happen.

What we know about my issues are that my genes are incredibly messed up and the odds of me conceiving a healthy viable pregnancy are less than 20%. The odds of the pregnancy being complication-free and going to term are 0. And yet, I've had not one, not two, but FOUR successful pregnancies. Sure, three of them had complications (my youngest spent 3 weeks in the NICU after he was born and I've bled with all but one pregnancy), but I have had one blissful amazing miraculously 'normal' pregnancy. And I have four healthy thriving children despite the immense odds against it. I can't NOT believe in miracles becuase medically, it's nearly impossible for me to have babies. Yet I have four. My dr can't explain it.

I wish I had answers for you. I wish I could say you will have a healthy successful pregnancy. I wish I could grant your wishes. I can't. But I can maybe give you hope by sharing my story. for all you've been through.

 

[stuckinoki]

I’m so sorry that you’re struggling right now

I don’t have any good advice and I don’t want to offer pointless platitudes but if RPL taught me anything, it was that my feelings were important and they needed to be processed. I’m here to listen if you need an ear or a shoulder.

 

[Suggerhoney]

Don't know if this thread is still active.
I'm currently experiencing my 4th chemical pregnancy since April.
I had one in April, June, July and now October 2020.
This one has completely broken me and I'm such a mess.
I'm so heartbroken and I just don't know what to do anymore I feel like a complete failure.
We have been ttc for 8 months and all its been is heartbreak after heartbreak.
I'm so broken and I feel so empty.
I'm 40 almost 41 and I feel like my rainbow baby is never going to happen.
I don't know what to do

 

[dairymomma]

It's not as active as it once was but it still had blips here and there. Many of us older posters will pop in if there's a new post.

First off, I'm so sorry for your losses. As a mom with angel babies, I know how hard it is to lose a baby.

Secondly, have you had any recurrent miscarriage testing done? Have you talked to your doctor at all about your recurrent losses? How long is your LP and overall cycle length?

I ask these things becuase a very common cause for recurrent chemical pregnancies can be low progesterone and/or a shortened luteal phase-which can be progesterone related as well. If this is your issue, it's a fairly easy one to treat. You just have to take progesterone in the first trimester. I also want to say that age unfortunately may be part of it as well. Egg quality can diminish as you get older and hormone levels can start to fluctuate. A check of your hormone levels may help show if this is the case for you. And if it is, there may be something you can do to treat it.

If nothing else, it might be good to just talk to your doctor and see what their thoughts are on all of this. Even doing that much may help you feel better. I know for me, seeing the doctor, even if we didn't necessarily DO anything, helped me feel like I was doing something constructive to move forward.

Again, I'm so sorry for your losses. Massive

 

[loeylo]

Hi! I’m still here. Very early pregnancy with #2. Before dd was born I had two miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy so I’m quite nervous!

 

[blueblue]

Loeylo, how are you? I hope everything is going well. I haven't checked in to the forums for ages.

 

[loeylo]

Loeylo, how are you? I hope everything is going well. I haven't checked in to the forums for ages.

Hey! I’m okay thanks. Just had a second ectopic and I’m being seen by a fertility clinic later this month. How are you?

 

[Suggerhoney]

It's not as active as it once was but it still had blips here and there. Many of us older posters will pop in if there's a new post.

First off, I'm so sorry for your losses. As a mom with angel babies, I know how hard it is to lose a baby.

Secondly, have you had any recurrent miscarriage testing done? Have you talked to your doctor at all about your recurrent losses? How long is your LP and overall cycle length?

I ask these things becuase a very common cause for recurrent chemical pregnancies can be low progesterone and/or a shortened luteal phase-which can be progesterone related as well. If this is your issue, it's a fairly easy one to treat. You just have to take progesterone in the first trimester. I also want to say that age unfortunately may be part of it as well. Egg quality can diminish as you get older and hormone levels can start to fluctuate. A check of your hormone levels may help show if this is the case for you. And if it is, there may be something you can do to treat it.

If nothing else, it might be good to just talk to your doctor and see what their thoughts are on all of this. Even doing that much may help you feel better. I know for me, seeing the doctor, even if we didn't necessarily DO anything, helped me feel like I was doing something constructive to move forward.

Again, I'm so sorry for your losses. Massive

I am so sorry I never replied to you after ure lovely message.
I'm only just seeing this now.


I'm actually now 19 weeks pregnant.
I started taking Galatanised Macca Root and Folate and also I stated baby aspirin from 10dpo when I got faint lines as advised by a doctor.
And lovely ladies on here.

Yes I did have tests done.

Back in September I had 2 lots of bloods done on cd4 and cd21 to check all my hormone levels b4 and after Ovulation.

Everything came back normol.

After the 4th chemical I was referred to the hospital and in Dec had bloods done to check my overion reserve and some other stuff.
Was supposed to have a scan as well but fell pregnant in January with this little miracle.

I never did get those overion reserve blood results. I had a phone call about the scan but I was already pregnant so it wasn't needed. I did ask the lady if she had the blood results just out of curiosity but she was a receptionist in a different department from all the gynecology stuff.

I am so sorry u have had so many losses.

I think I commented back to you in another post somewhere about what u had been through.

My heart absolutely went out to you.


Thank u so ure time to reply to me.

I can't believe I'm only just seeing it now.

U are a lovely kind hearted lady.

Sending u huge hugs.


Oh my luteal phase was long. 17 to 18 days.
It was 14 to 15 days but I started taking b vitamins last summer and I think it was them making I longer
It did stop them after I ovulated in January to see of my Luteal phase was back to 14 15 days (used to drive me mad knowing I was out at 12dpo then having to wait ages for AF)

Anyway I got pregnant with this one so I will never know If it was the B vitamins.

 

[dairymomma]

It could be related to the B Vitamins. There is a genetic mutation called MTHFR that, if you have it, can cause folate deficiency because it affects your body's ability to turn folate into methylfolate (which is hte form of folate you can utilize). Some B Vitamins have this form of folate in them and depending on how deficient you are, it may be at the dosing level you have. MTHFR, especially the C677T variant, is known to cause clotting problems and miscarriage since you need enough folate to sustain a pregnancy. It's actually one of the few things we KNOW I have issues with. I have two bad copies of the MTHFR C677T gene and I only process about 10% of the folate I get from my diet. I need to supplement with very high doses of methylfolate in order to even have a chance at a successful pregnancy. (Here's the really big twist to my story-I had THREE of my kids before we knew this was a serious issue for me. I see a naturopath regularly for health stuff-becuase i've been told 'it is just in your head' waaaaayyyyyy too many times by doctors-and he had put me on high doses of a few different B vitamin complexes right before those successful pregnancies. He'd had me on them for other reasons and I'm firmly convinced I would not have my 3 older kids if I hadn't been on those supplements. I still take those supplements daily even now.)

But I'm glad to hear you are doing well and your pregnancy is going wonderfully. We celebrate the successes even more having been through loss ourselves.

 

[blueblue]

Loeylo, good luck with the fertility clinic, sorry to hear about your second ectopic. I'm good thanks!

Suggerhoney, congratulations on 19 weeks.

Dairy, hope you are ok.

 

[loeylo]

Loeylo, good luck with the fertility clinic, sorry to hear about your second ectopic. I'm good thanks!

Suggerhoney, congratulations on 19 weeks.

Dairy, hope you are ok.

Glad to hear!
I just had my fertility clinic appointment via video call and go in person a week on Monday for an internal scan. They want to see my tubes for some reason, even though they won’t be able to see blockage just from an ultrasound? They wouldn’t do an hsg without telling me first, would they? I have health anxiety and would need to mentally prepare for that (as in, probably go on anti anxiety meds so I don’t pass out during it) - I’m nervous enough about a “medical” ultrasound incase they find something.

They are running recurrent miscarriage testing (ultrasound and bloods) as well as checking my tubes (ectopics) and dfs sperm, which I’m sure is fine because we have got pregnant twice in 6 months despite not having tonnes of sex. He did have mumps when he was a kid but I think that impacts his chance of getting me pregnant rather than making a miscarriage more likely (especially since my miscarriages happened beyond chemical pregnancy stage, on one I saw a heartbeat and a properly formed baby, on the other I saw a formed baby that’s heart had already stopped, and the third was too early for a scan so who knows)

 

[dairymomma]

Loeylo-I would think they would tell you if they were doing an HSG because that's not an quick in-and-out type of appointment. But there are things they can see from an ultrasound, even if they can't see everything. If there is a blockage that is big enough, they may be able to see it somewhat on the ultrasound. But I think they can see if there is fluid in your tubes on an ultrasound and if you have fluid in your tubes, it's as much a blockage as a physcial barrier type blockage is. My OB has said when she does my hysteroscopy, if she sees fluid in my tubes, then she's removing them for that reason. (Which I'm okay with.)

As far as the mumps thing goes, I guess I'm not sure on that. I know it can affect a man's fertility and can make him sterile in some cases but I don't know much about the effect of mumps on sperm other than that.

Infertility and RMC are so difficult because there are so many things we do not know about these issues. I hope the testing you are having done can give you some answers though.

blueblue-I'm doing mostly okay. I am currently scheduled for a hysteroscopy and endometrial biopsy next month but that may be getting postponed since I learned last week that my stomach is pushing up through my diaphragm into my chest and it's causing all sorts of gut issues. I see the surgeon for a consult next week and will likely be going for an endoscopy and some sort of surgery after that to repair my diaphragm and keep my stomach from herniating into my chest again. It may cause my hysteroscopy to be postponed but if that happens, well, I've already waited a year for it. What's another few months, right? Hope all is well with you too.