Recurrent Miscarriage Thread

[blueblue]

Creole, it's ok to cry, it's the only way you can heal. I tried too much to cope after my first loss and I really didn't - I didn't heal because I didn't let myself get upset. I'm glad your sister will be supportive and your doctor has put a care plan in place, just knowing people are there for you really helps x

 

[dairymomma]

Journaling is actually a really good thing to do. My therapist told me that studies have shown that the physical act of writing actually triggers something in the brain that works as an eraser in a way. Essentially, by putting it down on paper, it can leave your head for a while.

 

[Creolequeen81]

This forum thread is really helping me. You ladies are very kind and very supportive and I thank all of you! I know it won't be easy but I know that everyday will get a little bit better than the one before.

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Hi ladies.
I am currently experiencing my 4th loss this year amd my 6th in 4 years (I was blessed with my dd in 2013). I am 37 and have had no testing done as I kept getting pg quickly after each mc. I have had 2 mmc and 2 early losses and just don't know what to do.
I had someone suggest seeing a reproductive immunologist as getting pg isn't an issue but embryo development is. My head is telling me to wait for a bit and let my body recover and be free of hcg for a while but my heart us hurting and I want my rainbow.
I would love to hear what you ladies think I should do maybe based on your own experiences.
So sorry that we are all here and having to go through this over and over but I am really grateful for the support I have had over this past year.

 

[pinkpassion]

Ladies... I'm just curious if this is possible ...
Can it be possible for a woman to only be able to carry one gender and that be a reason for miscarriages because they are one gender and she can't carry that gender?!
Someone said that to me and it made me start wondering. Is this even possible?!

 

[Creolequeen81]

Hi readynwaiting im truly sorry for your losses. I think you should do both wait and speak to your doctor and see what they say. They may tell you to take a break from trying to let you body get back on track. The only thing you can do is ask.

 

[Creolequeen81]

Pinkpassion I've never heard of something like that. That's very interesting I may have to do some research.

 

[Creolequeen81]

Ladies... I'm just curious if this is possible ...
Can it be possible for a woman to only be able to carry one gender and that be a reason for miscarriages because they are one gender and she can't carry that gender?!
Someone said that to me and it made me start wondering. Is this even possible?!

The only info I found was on incontinentia pigmenti and Haemophilia which are fatal to boys. I haven't found info on anything fatal to girls but I'll keep looking.

 

[pinkpassion]

Well I know I can carry a girl.. so it would be boys that I couldn't carry for whatever reason.. I don't know what this baby is yet... just really playing on my mind !

 

[Creolequeen81]

Don't stress or worry over stuff like that. Just think positive and prepare for that little bundle that's coming soon. How far along are you?

 

[pinkpassion]

10 weeks! I know. I just have strong boy vibes. But I was telling someone tonight I believed this one was a boy and they said "with all your miscarriages I'd be surprised if you could even carry a boy! " and that got me wondering if maybe they knew something I didn't...

 

[Creolequeen81]

People can be so rude sometimes. Relax you mind and nerves. Enjoy your pregnancy and bond with the little one growing in your belly.

 

[Tasha]

Readynwaiting, I totally understand that the waiting is very hard, it was seven years from me starting to ttc to holding my baby. However I would stop trying whilst you get the tests done. I know it seems like you're wasting time but the way I saw it is that if you keep ttc then a year down the line you could be still going around in circles get the testing done and realise there was an easily fixable thing.

Pink im sorry for your loss. There's something called translocation (it's to do with the chromosomes) and that can do that.

 

[Squig34]

Readynwaiting, sorry to hear of your losses. But I agree that you should give your body a break & get testing done. I know waiting is hard but if there's something they can do to help, the sooner you know, the better.

Pink, I've heard about that too. But honestly, I think your friend's comment was insensitive. Do you know that all your losses have been boys or are you just assuming as you have a daughter?

 

[pinkpassion]

I'm just assuming as I have a daughter. We've just gone through all the recurrent pregnancy loss testing and all of my tests came back completely normal even karyotyping and so did all of dh's tests . So if the boy thing had to do with translocation wouldn't something show up on our karyotyping? So my official diagnosis was unexplained recurrent pregnancy loss. :/ kind of sucks because my chances of loss are higher than "normal" people. After this pregnancy I have to have a hysteroscopy, that was the one thing they didn't get to do (by the time they scheduled it is had just gotten a positive pregnancy test)... so we'll see!

 

[pinkpassion]

And yes people are so insensitive and rude!! ... I honestly don't care what gender we have, I just want a healthy baby. It's just I feel so strongly it's a boy like with my dd I felt so strongly she was a girl I couldn't bring myself to look at boy stuff or boy names. Same with this one just reversed! Anyway sorry for rambling!

 

[Squig34]

Yeah try not to get hooked on that idea then. I've had 6 losses & all my tests are normal & I believe I've lost both genders. The evidence isn't there to suggest you can't carry boys, so try to dismiss the thought & don't torture yourself You're right in saying that your karyotyping should have shown up anything abnormal like translocation. I don't know if babies can just develop them (i don't think so but not sure) but Sportysgirl might be able to give you more info.

 

[ReadynWaiting]

What testing is done and what should I be asking for?
I'm in Canada and have health care but not sure all testing is covered. I'm willing to pay to figure out what is going on.
Have many of you had a successful pg followed by recurrent losses? This is my 4th since having dd and I had 2 prior to her.
I've had 3 dr and a mw tell me my eggs are old and that is the reason (I'm 37 and have a almost 3yr old and a 12 yr old).

 

[dairymomma]

Pink-Tasha said what I was going to about translocation being a cause for miscarrying boys. I've also had a naturopathic doctor tell me that I'm more likely to miscarry boys because your body needs more natural arsenic to carry them to term and I am low it in but I have a DS as well as DDs and I know via testing that I've miscarried both genders so on that theory. Have you been tested for MTHFR mutations though? That's what we're figuring is my issue and it took almost 8 years and 10 miscarriages to find it.

Ready-I second Tasha's advice on waiting. I know it seems counterintuitive when you want nothing more than to get your rainbow but look at it this way-if you wait these few months and get the testing done, you'll be ahead of the game and possibly have a diagnosis along with a treatment plan in place when you do start ttc again. If you don't wait, you may get lucky and have another rainbow but you may also miscarry again and be back to square one without any answers. It's also good to give yourself some time to heal after so many losses. I've gone down both paths. We opted to forgo testing and just try some basic treatments-supplementing progesterone and taking baby aspirin in my first trimester-after my 3rd miscarriage and DS was the result. We felt I was 'cured' and kept on trying after that only to have miscarriage after miscarriage. Yes, I've had successes in there (we now have 2 DD along with our DS) but I've been having more and more trouble sustaining a pregnancy longer than 10 weeks and I'm having more and more bleeding issues in early pregnancy. We finally sat down and agreed to stop ttc at all until I got my physical and mental health sorted out a bit because my last miscarriage was not only twins but it was back-to-back with another loss and it was my 10th loss overall. I just had some more testing done and if I'd chosen to get tested sooner, I might not have had many of my more recent losses. This is our 7th month of wtt and it's wearing on my heavily these days. I see many of my fellow BnB-ers getting bfps and I want to share my own exciting news. My sis-in-law just announced she's due in May-the exact month I've dreamed of having my 4th rainbow-and it hit like a sledgehammer. Jealousy and baby fever are taking over my brain but I know logically that this wait is best for me all around. Not only am I focusing on losing weight and getting my mental health sorted out (I have binge eating disorder and depression/anxiety issues) but my recent diagnosis shows I'm extremely low in certain vitamins that I need to get back to better levels in order to sustain a healthy pregnancy. I'll also be on blood thinning injections for my next pregnancy and DH and I are going on a vacation in a remote desert region in a few months so I probably don't want to be on blood thinners if we're going there. All in all, I know it's best to wait but knowing that doesn't make it any easier.

Sorry if that's pretty much a novel length response but I am feeling very much like you are right now-impatient with waiting for my rainbow but knowing it's best for me to do just that-and I wanted to let you know that you aren't the only one. Hang in there and hopefully you find an answer soon.

 

[dairymomma]

Oh and Ready-it might be something as simple as taking progesterone supplements and/or baby aspirin.