'Reins' for a toddler 'cruel' ????!!!

[ellismum]

I don't think they're 'cruel' as such. I don't agree with them though. I find them too dog like. In farming, a dog lead is because the dog is untrained, not trusted and a liability. Those dogs never last on the farm long. Which is probably why I dislike reigns so much.

However, I wouldn't be opposed to them if I had a child who was any of those. If she was not to be trusted on a road, or to not run off then I may consider them. I'd rather cut that behavior out before we get to that point though. Which has always worked with Niamh and the childminded kids. I may eat my words in the future though.

I'm still trying to "cut" that behaviour out at 4 years old.

 

[Nat0619]

So it's cruel to prevent your child darting into a road and getting knocked down? Cruel to keep them close to you in a shopping centre where you could lose sight of them in seconds if they bolt? Cruel to keep them close in a public place where a paedophile could be lurking around any corner? Sorry, I think that's ridiculous. A lady on here responded to a previous thread on this subject raising the story of James Bulger, who was abducted from a shopping centre and murdered. He'd be alive today if he'd been on reins.

As for the 'teaching them road safety' thing. Obviously yes. But Ciara is 15 months old! I doubt she'd understand the green cross code yet!

 

[special_kala]

I don't think they're 'cruel' as such. I don't agree with them though. I find them too dog like. In farming, a dog lead is because the dog is untrained, not trusted and a liability. Those dogs never last on the farm long. Which is probably why I dislike reigns so much.

However, I wouldn't be opposed to them if I had a child who was any of those. If she was not to be trusted on a road, or to not run off then I may consider them. I'd rather cut that behavior out before we get to that point though. Which has always worked with Niamh and the childminded kids. I may eat my words in the future though.

Is that not exactly what toddlers are?

 

[sequeena]

My almost 2 year old is mentally 12 months old and like most other toddlers doesn't have any self preservation and only lives in the moment. I cannot get him to understand he needs to hold my hand and not leave my side because of his disability. One day he will not not need the reins as he will eventually learn but until that day I am confident in my choice for him to wear reins when we are out as a 'back up'

 

[Misstrouble19]

i dont think reigns are cruel at all.. your promoting your childs safety i use them sometimes xx

 

[suzib76]

I don't think they're 'cruel' as such. I don't agree with them though. I find them too dog like. In farming, a dog lead is because the dog is untrained, not trusted and a liability. Those dogs never last on the farm long. Which is probably why I dislike reigns so much.

However, I wouldn't be opposed to them if I had a child who was any of those. If she was not to be trusted on a road, or to not run off then I may consider them. I'd rather cut that behavior out before we get to that point though. Which has always worked with Niamh and the childminded kids. I may eat my words in the future though.

Kids are not dogs nor are they comparable to dogs

My son always needed a physical boundary, he had reins, he had a play pen, he stayed in a cot for longer than most, I took him out in a buggy when he was too old to be in one and he had a stair gate on his room still when he was 5. He NEEDED these things in place, there was no way to 'cut it out'

It turns out he has autism but back in the toddler days we never knew this and we just took every precaution to keep him safe

The idea that we could have cut the behaviour out of him is laughable

 

[tommyg]

Whats cruel about them???

When DS learned to walk he wouldn't take anybodys hand, I think he found walking with and arm up in the air to hold an adults hand uncomfortable and knocked him of balance.

Try walking about with your arm in the air as if you are holding on to somebodies hand whos more than double your height and you'll realise its not very comfortable for a child, so could be regarded as cruel to force them to do it, nor is it comfy for and adult to walk stooped to hold a small childs hand.

So for us reins were a must, they also saved him from landing flat on his face a few times as we were able to stop him hitting the ground, initally we used the harness type before progressing to the backpack type.

 

[special_kala]

Whats cruel about them???

When DS learned to walk he wouldn't take anybodys hand, I think he found walking with and arm up in the air to hold an adults hand uncomfortable and knocked him of balance.

Try walking about with your arm in the air as if you are holding on to somebodies hand whos more than double your height and you'll realise its not very comfortable for a child, so could be regarded as cruel to force them to do it, nor is it comfy for and adult to walk stooped to hold a small childs hand.

So for us reins were a must, they also saved him from landing flat on his face a few times as we were able to stop him hitting the ground, initally we used the harness type before progressing to the backpack type.

thats a very good point!

 

[Pixie19]

I used to think of them as treating a baby like a dog and always thought parents used them to be controlling etc

Now i have a toddler i have eaten my words....
We use backpack reins now and they may possibly one day save his life!
Would much rather 'put him on a lead' than the alternative.

 

[Foogirl]

Try walking about with your arm in the air as if you are holding on to somebodies hand whos more than double your height and you'll realise its not very comfortable for a child, so could be regarded as cruel to force them to do it, nor is it comfy for and adult to walk stooped to hold a small childs hand.

thats a very good point!

One we've learned whilst helping Abby to walk. It really hampers the natural walking style!

 

[tommyg]

Hay cool Foogirl, how many steps can she take? Really chuffed for her that she'll be able to get on her feet - you've put a massive grin on my face.

 

[LoraLoo]

Ive never got along with them, all mine have just thrown themselves to the floor in them or refused to walk Definitely not cruel though!

 

[sandilion]

I feel a lot better about it now and will definitely buy one tomorrow. As my toddler at just 17 months old is certainly not at the stage to understand road rules just yet. Of course i am constantly teaching him about it, but feel it would be safer to have him on the reins so i can teach him more safely. I also want the reins for shopping centers too - he is such a terror, just takes off and heads into stores. Its impossible to keep him with me right now. I don't think of him as 'naughty' for doing it though, just young fearless and curious.

 

[Noelle610]

I've found that most people who don't like them fall into one of the following categories:

1. Don't have children

2. Have adult children

3. Have children, but they're not yet walking

or

4. Have one of those magic kids I'm unfamiliar with who is perfectly behaved at all times, has total control over impulses and always acts with impunity. Kind of like a unicorn.

 

[seoj]

Lots of opinions huh? LOL. OP- Glad you decided to do what you feel is best though- that is all any of us can do. As what is right for one may or may not be for another...

Personally, I don't use reigns, BUT- with that said, my LO behaves well enough when she is walking... but, as needed she goes in her stroller. She does well in the stroller- always has, so for me, there is no need to use reigns. We started allowing more freedom walking when out about 16mos- and it was a bit tough at first, when she got into everything or took off running -- but it was never that hard, and she's only improved and understands the boundaries much better. She still hates holding hands when crossing parking lots etc... but we are getting there I like that she is learning and that I can trust her more- even though I always have a hawk eye on her.

 

[lhancock90]

I've found that most people who don't like them fall into one of the following categories:

1. Don't have children

2. Have adult children

3. Have children, but they're not yet walking

or

4. Have one of those magic kids I'm unfamiliar with who is perfectly behaved at all times, has total control over impulses and always acts with impunity. Kind of like a unicorn.

This!
So what if they remind people of a leash. I wouldn't want my child to get hit by a car anymore than I would my dog. It's a safety measure I do with love not to be cruel.

 

[Noelle610]

I've found that most people who don't like them fall into one of the following categories:

1. Don't have children

2. Have adult children

3. Have children, but they're not yet walking

or

4. Have one of those magic kids I'm unfamiliar with who is perfectly behaved at all times, has total control over impulses and always acts with impunity. Kind of like a unicorn.

This!

So what if they remind people of a leash. I wouldn't want my child to get hit by a car anymore than I would my dog. It's a safety measure I do with love not to be cruel.

OH AND, you reminder me I find that people who compare reigns to leashes.... do not have dogs.

 

[OmarsMum]

We never needed it as Omar is very good at staying close & holding hands. But I think they're so handy, I saw a lady in a busy mall with twins boys (around 18-24 months old), she was pushing a double buggy, the mall was so crowed, both her kids when in reins, they were still trying to escape & run around

 

[Foogirl]

Hay cool Foogirl, how many steps can she take? Really chuffed for her that she'll be able to get on her feet - you've put a massive grin on my face.

Oh she is doing great. She's going great guns in her walking frame. Even jumping in puddles at the weekend! I'll find somewhere here to stick the video up!

 

[jodilee6]

We've just got back from a weekend away at the seaside with our 14mnt old and I can tell you our reigns were a god send!

I don't care what anyone thinks, they kept my son safe, stopped him from running in the road or sea when very excited. I'll use them until he's old enough to be trusted to walk on his own without darting off in a moment of excitement.