'Reins' for a toddler 'cruel' ????!!!

[Emma&Freya]

I bought reins for Freya for when I went on holiday and I only used them in the airport abroad!


To me, I felt like they were pointless as Freya was good!

I dont see them as cruel, our Freya is pretty good without them so I choose not to use them

 

[bubbles123]

Yes I used them with my son when he was younger as he was a runner - no sense of fear at all. Now at 3.5 I rarely use them as I have taught him to hold my hand and wait at roads. I still use them in very crowded places though (like city centres) as he can get distracted and run off still and I have the baby too so he doesn't always have my full attention. I couldn't give two hoots what people think! Having.said that I've only had positive comments. One old lady stopped me and said I was the only sensible mother she had seen that day.

 

[m4nc3r]

I don't use them because Zane genuinely behaved worse when I put them on him than he did normally.
That being said, I think it is important to try anything that may benefit your child's safety!! Only you know your child well enough to make that decision!

Zane was about 14-15 months when I started letting him walk out and about in the town, I bought a wrist strap for the day when I decided to do it, and used this for a couple days while I ordered a set of reins off ebay.
The wrist strap was a complete success, I taught him from Day One that he is to hold my hands at all times and used the wrist strap only as a way to let him explore those couple of extra feet away when something was particularly interesting to him (like stones, flowers etc).
The reins, for us, were a nightmare! He liked putting them on just fine, but it took him all of 2 days to realize reins meant he could run forward a few steps and before I could loosen the slack again the reins would pull him back down and it was a "great game". He would just pull and pull on them testing us all the way refusing to hold hands etc. Yet take them off him and he would cling to my hands like we were glued.

To be honest, Zane has always been a good, calm boy really, and combined with teaching him "Wait" as his first outside command I NEVER had a problem with him running off or showing any interest in being more than 2 feet away from me. Now he's 2.5 he will run up the street about 10-15 feet maybe before turning round and telling me to hurry up lol but when we start approaching the area of town where there are several crossings in a row, he always comes right back to me and tells me to wait for the green man =P

For my family, reins haven't proven to be worth it, I will probably use a wrist strap for the first few months of walking with number 2, But if he is as calm as Zane always was then I'm hoping it won't have to be for to long. If he is an active child then I will keep an open mind to reins etc =)

 

[XJessicaX]

Tried them, lost them and havent replaced them. A stern "NO running off young lady" usually does the trick.

 

[pippi_89]

Nope not cruel at all

Obviously, like anything they can be cruel if misused but for a child's safety it's just good sense! We used them with dd on holiday about 18 months ago. We got some looks but she wanted to explore and her wandering off to explore the middle of a road is not a good plan imo!

 

[Teeny]

if u have a runner (like me) a few nasty looks or comments is nothing compAred to knowing ur keeping ur child within a safe radius of u!

 

[JASMAK]

I dont think they 'cruel', but they aren't really used here and are somewhat 'frowned upon'. Does it really matter what others think?

 

[Dream.dream]

I don't think they are cruel however I don't agree with them. It's another thing in my opinion that alot of people use instead properly teaching children to behave or watching them properly . Your child can be taught really early to stay with you out in public , and if you keep any eye on them there shouldn't be on a leash like a dog

 

[Teeny]

I don't think they are cruel however I don't agree with them. It's another thing in my opinion that alot of people use instead properly teaching children to behave or watching them properly . Your child can be taught really early to stay with you out in public , and if you keep any eye on them there shouldn't be on a leash like a dog

my daughter learnt to walk and then run very quickly at ten months. I know that consistent boundaries and guidance is the first option and imwork very hard with my dd on these things, but not all children are the same, so sometimes it is a very needed addition in certain situations to keep them safe. using the phase 'leash like a dog' is very judgmental. we are in the pre school phase of this forum. if we have learnt anything from using bandb for our knowledge its that all children are NOT the same, so varied parenting styles are needed for different children.

mothers who use reins are not 'leasing' their children like dogs. it's a horrible thing to say.

 

[JASMAK]

I don't think they are cruel however I don't agree with them. It's another thing in my opinion that alot of people use instead properly teaching children to behave or watching them properly . Your child can be taught really early to stay with you out in public , and if you keep any eye on them there shouldn't be on a leash like a dog

A fellow Canadian....and I would sum up that this is how our country, give or take, feels about them. Every country is different. I am not trying to offend, just stating the differences. That is why I said they are rather 'frowned upon' here. My LO ran at nine months, so I understand keeping kids safe and the struggles with that.

 

[fannyadams]

I don't think they are cruel however I don't agree with them. It's another thing in my opinion that alot of people use instead properly teaching children to behave or watching them properly . Your child can be taught really early to stay with you out in public , and if you keep any eye on them there shouldn't be on a leash like a dog

Nice! I would rather my toddler be on a leash like a dog than under a car if she escapes my grip for 2 seconds. She likes the freedom of trotting along beside me and I like the safety of her not being able to dart into the road if a cat catches her eye.
Maybe where you live isn't as busy as where some others do.

 

[sequeena]

I don't think they are cruel however I don't agree with them. It's another thing in my opinion that alot of people use instead properly teaching children to behave or watching them properly . Your child can be taught really early to stay with you out in public , and if you keep any eye on them there shouldn't be on a leash like a dog

You should teach my GDD toddler then (who is mentally 10 months old), seeing as you are an expert

 

[aliss]

I don't think they are cruel however I don't agree with them. It's another thing in my opinion that alot of people use instead properly teaching children to behave or watching them properly . Your child can be taught really early to stay with you out in public , and if you keep any eye on them there shouldn't be on a leash like a dog

A fellow Canadian....and I would sum up that this is how our country, give or take, feels about them. Every country is different. I am not trying to offend, just stating the differences. That is why I said they are rather 'frowned upon' here. My LO ran at nine months, so I understand keeping kids safe and the struggles with that.

Agreed, you would not see these used in Canada. But most of us use cars anyways, we don't necessarily have the same street planning or logistics of girls in Europe.

That being said, my 3 year old is still a pain in the ass to walk and it's not about teaching, it's about him being unable to focus properly. I don't use reins (it's just not done here, ever) but that doesn't mean all kids still walk fine either.

I also think it's very easy to say when you've only gone one little one to wrangle in!

 

[Gingerspice]

I used reins. Its a safety back up. Its like people on roofs waering a fall ahrness. They know how to work on a roof and are taught how to work safety but accidents do happen. At that point the harness will stop them being seriously injured.

Same as the reins. Its a back up if LO does slip out of holding my hand, doesn;t follow my instructions and runs away. I know she can then only get so far and not result in being squished by a car.

TBH I don't know why people don't use them. Its a hazard elimination process. By using them you eliminate the chance that the one time they do eacape your grasp, ignore their teaching and run off, will not result in harm.

 

[tommyg]

DS had his reins on yesterday cuddly toy in each hand. What would have been cruelest putting reins on him or insisting one of his companions were left in the car?
Happy toddler = happy mummy.

 

[Lellow]

Weve used reins a handful of times...I have a kid who legs it at any opportunity so i would rather he was safe than endangering himself.

 

[sequeena]

In the grand scheme of things using reins/not using reins is irrelevant
Who honestly cares. They help some parents and are useless to others. I've just been told on my son's birthday of all days that he needs another op. I wish I could say no but we risk him losing the use of hos thumb completely if he doesn't have it. Sucks but we do what we have to do for our children.

 

[LaughOutLoud]

All children are different. Agreed, if you have a easy going laid back child who listens to everything you say, you might not need reins. However, most toddlers push healthy boundaries and you have to do what you feel is safe for your child, be that reins or not - really depends on the childs temperament and what it will take to keep them safe.

 

[fluffpuffin]

Those in other countries I think maybe have wider pavements? I know in Germany they don't use reins really and I know from experience the pavements tend to be wider. In this country pavements can be really narrow with cars parked on them as well etc which can make it a real hazard for toddlers running into the road especially when they're still learning. I think that might have something to do with them being used more in the UK.

 

[highhopes19]

I love being cruel I use them quite often when out and about ....

I think tomorrow though when walking down the main road I may not use them and be kind and risk her getting hit by a car...

Who ever thinks toddlers listen to them 100% of the time needs a reality check