I'm just wanting a bit of a rant here I'm afraid its a long one....! I lost my baby Joe in August after his heart stopped beating at 17 weeks. I was induced, delivered him and later we found he had triploidy. I was desperate to ttc again (Joe had been my 3rd loss although I have had a daughter, 19 months in the middle of it all) and got my BFP in October. I was scanned weekly and by 8 weeks my dates were behind and it looked 50/50. On the 23rd of December my pg symptoms stopped and I knew that baby had gone. I began to ms a bit a home but a week later had to go in for an erpc at 11 weeks. Due to my recent loss the baby was being sent off for cytogenetic testing and they were going to tell me the sex. In the meantime here I am desperate to ttc again, and my OH by this point says no, we're not going through it all again and how could I possibly think this way. After a few days he changes his mind and says it wasn't fair of him to say that and he does want another child, he's just so frightened of another loss (yeah like I'm not!) 10 days ago I get a call to say the hospital had messed up and the baby hadn't gone for testing so we would have no information nor, and more importantly for me would I know the sex of the baby. Furious doesn't even explain it. Last Monday it was my Joe's due date, a very very sad day and indeed week for me, my new pregnancy had been helping but of course that was gone now too. Last Wednesday my partner exploded with rage due to the fact our daughter was awake during the night which is really rare for her (teething) and was ranting and screaming that he never wanted any more children...a bit extreme but nevertheless. I do understand that this may have just been the straw that broke the camels back. The next day he packs up all his stuff and leaves.....because HE can't cope I'm not enturely sure what he thinks I'm made of The day after, Friday I attend the memorial service/cremation for our latest lost baby. OH came too but in seperate cars and he tried to comfort me while there but I didn't want him anywhere near me, I was/am so so angry for him walking out just because HE can't cope. We left seperately too and I was left on my own that night to come to terms that I had just been faced with my second dead baby in a white box in under 5 months.... So thats my crappy situation at the moment...if you've got this far!!! I am so angry that he has left us because he feels HE can't cope, I know it's difficult, I know griveing is awful but to just walk away? I feel unable to forgive at the moment. I think he realsied he'd taken things a bit too far and is now going on about the ttc thing and that he never wants more children and that I am forcing him into it...he's giving me very very mixed messages about this. I have spoken to my GP about coping as I'm holding it together for my little girl and have been oferred a sicknote and am popping diazepam like smarties. Grrrrrr why does someone who protests to love and care about you walk out when all this heratache is going on????????