Repeat girl moms?

[nicem815]

I posted about this in another forum, but I figured I would ask here, too.

So we found out we are expecting baby girl #2. Yay! I always thought it would be really great to have a sister close in age to me that I could bond with. My sister is 9 years younger than me and we have never really been close so I always craved that growing up.

However, we thought we were having a boy and so did most people, apparently. That's another story that I won't get into because it could be triggering and not in the right forum--ANYWAY--

I just don't get why some people feel like they have a right to opinions on gender. And why some people feel the need to act disappointed when we tell them we are having another girl. I actually had one girl at work (who I had never met) look at me, make a disappointed face and say, "I think you're having a girl....but I hope you have a boy. Boys are so much fun".

I was also shocked when I found out it was a girl, but I have since gotten over that and now I am just excited and grateful for 2 healthy babies. However, I am still having a hard time coping when other people say things.

I just needed to talk to other moms who have gone through it because I just get really upset when people make remarks about it and I get exhausted having to come up with things to say back.

 

[Mammyto1]

Im in the same boat. Myself, my partner and daughter were all over the moon but his family were all visibly and openly disappointed. Still no idea why. I was shocked as everyone thought i was having a boy but all i was really bothered about was that she is healthy. X

 

[becsboo]

having sisters is the best they will be so close

 

[superfrizbee]

This is so annoying. My mum wants number 3 to be a little girl "so we can reuse all of the beautiful girls clothes." It bugs me so much that she has the nerve to share a preference. I just tell her in a way that's friendly but short and firm "well we don't get to chose, and we'll get what we get."

 

[MEPride]

I love my sister. We are 2 years apart. Growing up was rough and we fought a ton. But now that we are older we get along great! She and I travel together all over the place. We understand each other on a level that my brother could never understand.

I have no advice as to what to say to these individuals. Honestly, I can be a brutually honest person at times and if I was annoyed or upset enough I would say that to the person making the comments. But that's just me....

 

[nicem815]

Im in the same boat. Myself, my partner and daughter were all over the moon but his family were all visibly and openly disappointed. Still no idea why. I was shocked as everyone thought i was having a boy but all i was really bothered about was that she is healthy. X

Yessss! All that matters is that they are healthy little babes!

 

[nicem815]

having sisters is the best they will be so close

Thank you, I hope and pray for that!

 

[nicem815]

This is so annoying. My mum wants number 3 to be a little girl "so we can reuse all of the beautiful girls clothes." It bugs me so much that she has the nerve to share a preference. I just tell her in a way that's friendly but short and firm "well we don't get to chose, and we'll get what we get."

Yessss you are so right! We don't get to choose--we find out when we find out! It's a gift either way!

 

[nicem815]

I love my sister. We are 2 years apart. Growing up was rough and we fought a ton. But now that we are older we get along great! She and I travel together all over the place. We understand each other on a level that my brother could never understand.

I have no advice as to what to say to these individuals. Honestly, I can be a brutually honest person at times and if I was annoyed or upset enough I would say that to the person making the comments. But that's just me....

That gives me so much hope! Thank you! That's so wonderful that you two are so close. What a blessing.

I know....I try to be the "bigger person" and be peaceful but sometimes I just wish I had a kind, but firm, response ready to go lol.

 

[Conundrum]

My girls are amazing together. They are three years apart and are nearly inseparable, to the point of tantrums when they are away from each other . I wouldn't have it any other way. We were thrilled to find out our last was a princess, which stopped many comments head on. We did receive the occasional "Well maybe your next will be a boy", which I think jinxed us at this point lol. You'll love it.

 

[xdxxtx]

My first two are boys, and I definitely got a lot of comments. The comments got a HUNDRED TIMES WORSE when I was pregnant with my third, and I felt SO much pressure for it to be a girl. Thankfully, it was, so I didn't get too many more hurtful comments, but then it was like, "Okay, you have your girl. You can stop having kids now." Um, I didn't get pregnant so I could have a gender. I got pregnant to have a family, and I always wanted a big family. So, I told everyone I wanted 5 kids (to shush them and refocus it to me just wanting a lot of kids). Oops, here I am on #5. So if I get pregnant again, I'm expecting a lot more comments, HAHA, but at least I shut them up for a couple of years!

 

[verily]

As one of five girls, I know my mother endlessly received comments like "Trying for a boy, eh?" It certainly did make it easier for her to do hand-me-down clothes and toys for all of us. We were all very close growing up and are still super close as adults.

We're even perpetuating the streak as all her grandchildren are girls too (with the exception of my step-son...the only way she's getting a boy in the family I think).

 

[litieulong48]

Yessss you are so right! We don't get to choose--we find out when we find out! It's a gift either way!

 

[lilmisscaviar]

I dealt with this with my third but in a slightly different way. We already had a girl and a boy, which most people think is "ideal" as if they are different species rather than just humans with different organs between their legs, so everyone thought that we should get the snip. How surprised they were when we announced that we were having a third baby! The first question I received... was it an accident? Even a nurse at the hospital told me "well since you have three now you might as well have a fourth and get a boy" as if you can choose gender. It was annoying dealing with people's comments. No matter what you have, it never seems like people are satisfied. What I learned to do is to just ignore it as hard as it is and think to myself "not your children, not your problem" to avoid stressing myself out about it.

I did miraculously end up with another boy this time but tbh my DS was my hardest child so far and it makes me kind of dread having another boy lol. I'm hoping he has a completely different personality than DS. My girls are much easier and funner imo.

 

[ttc126]

I feel the same annoyance with people. We don't know what we are having yet but I have two boys already.
When we first announced, several family members said things like "congratulations. If it's a girl that will be PERFECT!!!!!" Or asking me "oooh I bet you're wanting a girl." It makes me want a boy just to shut them up! Ugh!!!!
I'm rude when I respond. I say "after all our losses I'm just glad it's still alive this week." Or "I hope it lives long enough we can find out."

 

[pinkpassion]

Yep I dealt with this so much when we had dd2, it was so annoying!! This time we are refusing to find out early and I've become very blunt over the years and I say something similar to above with "we don't care what baby is as long as baby is healthy and Alive" . We have had several losses and I feel it shuts people right up.. not sure why people feel the need to comment on genders, number of children, even names. ... it's really no one's business but the parents.
Ps I'm also one of 5 girls not often I see someone else from the same!!!

 

[ladybrown33]

I have one son and baby girl on the way and people often say "now you'll have one of each so you can stop" I don't think it's anyone else's place to say when I have had enough children. I think they don't think before they make these kinds of comments.

 

[nicem815]

Thanks ladies! It makes me feel better reading all of your comments.

I still feel hurt when people act disappointed (because, helloooo--it's a healthy baby....why the heck would there be a need for any disappointment ?!), but now I just stop any comments by immediately saying we are excited and that I always wanted two girls close in age because I never had that with my own sister. That seems to get people to be quiet quickly.

I do still feel it in my husband's voice that he would like a boy one day. He didn't have a good relationship with his father and I know his heart is yearning for him to be able to have a good relationship with his own son. Only God knows what is in store for us, though....either way, he is a wonderful father.