Returning to work - thinking ahead..

[Genie]

I'm desperate to start a family and DH has recently had a change of heart and thinks he may like to bring forward ttc. This has led to some more serious thoughts towards the practical matters. I hope I won't be judged for this but i really really want to return to work on a part time basis. I will love the time I spend with my baby beyond anything I can imagine but I love my job, and I think knowing myself, by the end of mat leave I'll be more than ready to return to work part time and have some adult company again (hope that doesn't sound selfish) However.. DH and I both work shifts and I can't see any way that we'd manage child care around the hours of early morning starts and late finishes. It would only be 3 days out of 9 I'd work, but I don't think my parents will be able to help much, my mum also works shifts and dad is busy with his new family. Just wondering if anyone else has any thoughts or whether I need to start accepting the fact that its very likely I'll be unable to return to work in the job I love.

 

[goddess25]

I am in the same situation.. My husband and I both work shifts and i had a little boy 10 months ago. I am returning back to work full time in March and we cannot find childcare for the exact same reasons... I am trying to find a day job so i can get him in some sort of day care eventually. In the mean time my husband is thinking about taking a leave from his job, we dont have an option its really hard. We both need to work full time to afford our mortgage and bills etc so its going to be a very tough time ahead.
Saying that I love my little boy and we are trying for the next one right now... having a family is utterly fantastic.

Sorry i cant offer much help.. you may want to look into a nanny. We have had ads out for awhile now and nannies dont want to work our hours either.. There really is no option for couples who both work shifts with no family support.

 

[Bambi1985]

I can't really help but just wanted to say I'm in the opposite situation. I would love to leave work and be a SAHM but we need my wage (albeit small!) to cover bills. However if I went back full time most of those wages would go on childcare so wouldn't be worth it. OH works shifts so really hoping I can go back part time and work around his hours so that theres always someone to look after LO.

I think there are lots of women who are in similar situations to these!

 

[Genie]

We would definately find it a struggle money wise if I didn't go back but its as much about the fact that I want to go back, just for a few hours a week. I just don't think its going to be possible due to the hours we both work. x

 

[lozzy21]

She dosent know it yet but my mam will be looking after LO lol

 

[GirlBlue]

Hmmm...I have some friends who barter child care w/ each other for the exact same reasons. So one mom works M-W and the other works wed afternoon till Friday or something like that. Saves them tons of money. I'd love to do the same thing if I could.

 

[Amygdala]

Have you thought about a live-in au pair? If you've got a spare room then that might be a low cost alternative? You just pay them a little going out money and other than that it's just food etc and because they live with you working shifts shouldn't be a problem.

 

[Genie]

Sharing care would be ideal but the woman i'd be likely to go part time with doesn't have children, she doesn't want them ever!!! Amygdala - we only have the one spare room , live in a tiny flat which is going to be cramped enough when baby comes along. Moving isn't really an option for us due to finance. x

 

[Dumpling]

I love my job too & would definitely want to go back after I had a baby. I work shifts & my almost MiL has said she would look after any children as she does with her other grandson. Its a lovely offer, but the trouble is, I don't really agree with the way she looks after him. He's completely spoiled rotten & she is at his constant beck & call & he demands what he wants & when he wants it. Am I being completely ungrateful?! How would you be able to say no without criticising someones parenting?! Thank goodness I've got ages before I need to think about it too much!

 

[Genie]

Thats really tricky. It depends whether at the time any other options come up i suppose, I can see how that would be very awkward!!

 

[littleblonde]

I have a similar problem. I work straight monday to friday but my partner works shifts and they change every week. I just think if i worked full time or when he was at work then i would just be paying for child care. Its quite tough

 

[tasha41]

I am going back to work in March due to financial reasons.. childcare is so expensive it would make my return to work pointless, so I am working opposite shifts with my OH as my workplace has flexible hours, and he will care for her while I work most of my shifts, my mum or his mum or my sister will take care of any gaps.

In a jam, I have a couple other friends that have had babies as well this year and if I give them some notice I'm sure if I have to they'd be able to watch Elyse for me, and even if paying them eats up a good chunk of my wages for that day, at least I will not have used up a sick day and I'll still have my job. Sick to think about in a way I don't want to go back, even though, like you, I thought I would be excited for the adult interaction.

I am excited for it but I think I will struggle to leave her in someone else's care, even if I trust them. Having a baby has made me a bit of a control freak

 

[Genie]

I guess its one of those things that you don't really know how you'll feel about until it happens. Maybe when the time comes I won't even want to go back!

 

[mushmouth]

I was thinking about this today too... I could only afford to be off work while I get full pay - which is 18 weeks... would I really be able to make myself leave a baby at only 3 months? would I be being selfish to leave such a young baby - even though it would be with my OH, who thinks its silly I'm even thinking about this before we start TTC, but it all needs considering! argh