Rude people

[Kit]

I am sure this has been discussed many, many times, but I am going to start a new thread as this is driving me up the wall!
Why, why, why, why, why does every random Tom, Dick and Harry (or actually every Thomasina, Richenda and Harriet - it is always old women!) feel that it is acceptable to accost me and tell me their views on how I carry my son?!
I use a woven wrap or a homemade mei tai and I generally do a back carry. I am sick to death of explaining that no, he won't fall out or suffocate and yes, he is actually fine, and no, I wouldn't prefer to use a pram. I am sick of watching out of the corner of my eye as the original offender mouths things about me to any other old lady who will listen and pulls exaggerated faces to show her displeasure. I am sick of finding some random woman on the bus trying to adjust my sling "in case he falls out". I am sick of it, all of it! I have always been polite up to now but I am about to crack. Some suggestions from my OH and some of our friends about suitable responses to the cries of "he is going to fall out" have been:

"Oh my God, he is! Don't just stand there - do something!"
" Yeah, the last one did"
"Well if he does then at least you can say I told you so - unhappy baby but happy old lady"
"baby? what baby? Are you mad?"

Any other light-hearted ideas? I really don't want to lose my temper and start being rude - I am always respectful to old people, but it is happening up to 3 or 4 times a day, and bearing in mind I work full time so that is squeezed into about an hour split between morning and evening, it is pretty incessant!

What really annoys me is that they don't seem to feel it appropriate to accost ladies from African countries who use traditional wraps (although I would love to see one of them try it with the Ghanian lady I chat to on the bus - I think she would actually throw them off the bus!) - is it only white babies who might fall out of slings?!

 

[polo_princess]

Id say "OMG theres a baby on my back, where did that come from"

 

[mommyof3co]

Luckily I got people admiring our carrier when I wear Hayden but I got comments on other aspects of AP.....get tons of them on him still rear facing in the car. But I love the comments you have so far! Please let us know what people say to those haha

 

[kirsten1985]

Yeah I get loads of comments too, but I don't go on buses and don't live in a busy area so it is not as often as you. I am too shy to say much though, I just get mad and walk off mostly. Although I got a funny one the other day, Freya has a little all in one type suit that looks like some sort of animal (ears etc), and two girls were persistently asking their mum why that lady across the street was carrying a monkey on her back, made me laugh all day!

I can't think of anything else you could say, I have only gone as far as to say "well it's so much nicer than a pram isn't it" and walking off, but I like your "what baby?" one!

 

[Love Bunny]

Luckaly no ones ever made a rude comment to me! I usually get compliaments on how snug she looks and cosy and peaceful!

Maybe its to do with how I look though I'm not very approachable and if they did have something bad to say to me then I would have somthing to say about them

You got some good comebacks ! x

 

[anothersquish]

Ive not yet had a negative comment though I have had someone ask if it wouldnt be easier to have a pram to which I replied "no, its quicker to tie the wrap then get a pram in and out of the car" One woman did stop me on sunday and say "what have you got in there?" in a cutesy baby voice so she obviously knew...that was annoying but then I dont really tolerate random strangers stopping me and peering in at Theo when Im trying to get stuff done!

 

[Lu28]

I haven't found things too bad here but I got lots of strange looks recently when I was in Dublin and had one lady come up to me asking about my strange little contraption!!

I also love the 'what baby' one!

 

[purple_socks]

oh please use the 'yeah probably, the last one did' line!! or the mad panic 'do something then' line....you should film peoples reaction and start your own trigger happy tv style show!
I actually just chuckled out loud at the thought! love it!

 

[Cariad_bach]

Oh im sorry hun i cant help but those 'replies' really really made me LOL .. please use some of them an tell us the reaction you get xxxxx

 

[moomin_troll]

i saw a woman carry her 4 yr old daughter in a homemade wrap on her back. i looked but only because i was ondering how on earth she did it lol

if anyone touched me id flip so im suprised uve managed to keep ur cool for so long.

id ignore people or just say mind ur own.

 

[claire-lou]

I haven't had a comment from anyone but a friend, but I do sometimes get strange looks. My mum also wears him and has had the odd cooment, however my dad wore him last week when i was at work and my mum claims everyone smiled at him! Don't know if this was the case but why is it different and cute when grandad has him?

 

[FemmeEnceinte]

Strange.

Molly is at an age where she always falls asleep in the mei tai so people just think she looks cute and snug. Maybe it's the back carry? Either way, I can relate to comments on AP but I just sort of smile and bat them off in a self assured sort of way that makes people more curious than anything. When I seemed a bit nervous or felt the need to explain myself is when people seemed to "disapprove" most.

 

[purple_kiwi]

i always get looks and because my wrap is blue some one assumed she was a boy! even though you could see a pink hat sticking out. i dont like when people stare it makes me feel weird

 

[Kit]

Thanks everyone - I think I will start trotting out some of those replies. I am not sure I will be able to keep my face straight though!
I don't mind people staring if they look interested or if they smile, but I get really irritated when people just stare and mutter to each other. I was walking out of a shop the other day and a middle aged couple actually walked into the door because they were so busy rubber-necking! I have started saying "Yes?" if people walk past staring like that.
I think it must be because I live in a very white middle-class area - if I go just a little way away into areas that are more multi-ethnic no-one bats an eyelid. It is like there is an invisible boundary - on this side baby-wearing is acceptable, on this side don't even think about it!
One of the other problems I find is that if I use a hip carry he has an unfortunate tendency to try to go to sleep by dangling out of the front of the sling and hanging onto my front like a monkey - this particular manouveur almost sends the old ladies into orbit. "He's going to fall out he's going to fall out he's going to fall out he's going to fall out!!!!"

 

[Rebaby]

One of the other problems I find is that if I use a hip carry he has an unfortunate tendency to try to go to sleep by dangling out of the front of the sling and hanging onto my front like a monkey - this particular manouveur almost sends the old ladies into orbit. "He's going to fall out he's going to fall out he's going to fall out he's going to fall out!!!!"

Hahaha, this seriously made me lol

I get lots of stares when babywearing but no-one has actually said anything to me yet so i just grin back at them and they either quickly turn away looking bewildered or nervously smile back!

 

[lfernie]

Most people who have seen me tend to say things like, he looks cosy and I walked into a local shop and the guy behind the counter shouted across the whole shop 'That's how people should be carrying weans, prams are a pain in the arse'. Needless to say I was mortified but it was rather funny! But I get most comments on his amber necklace and although my family just let me get on with it and don't say anything I could see a few of them look a bit horrified that I had put a necklace on my baby butwhen I explained it was safe etc they were like 'OK, Lauren', cos they think I'm a bit airy fairy. They love the nappies and all big BFing supporters. They tjought my wraps were good but too hard to work, although my gran said she used to wrap her kids round her in a sheet not disimilar to my storch xx

 

[mummypeanut]

I hope people dont stop us too often or hubby will be really put off. He has no patience - he got really annoyed when we were on holiday and everyone kept stopping us or making comments about our dog wearing a pack/harness. We were island hopping on small boats and camping so the harness was fab for getting the dog on and off boats (it has a handel on the back - great for gang planks) and meant she could carry her own stuff (poo bags, collapsable water bowl). In the end he stopped the dog wearing it so he didnt have to deal with the comments anymore (she only wore it if we were hopping to a different island and would be out all day) which was such a shame because its so useful and she really doesnt mind it.

I know its completely different but....well the comments were just as stupid 'doesnt she mind?'....no if she did mind she wouldnt be wandering around wagging her tail.....'awwww poor thing'.....re:reference the wagging her tail and completely ignoring it.....etc etc etc....I'm quite practiced at the smile and walk away!!

If anyone has a dog theyre actually really good. Pics below!

 

[kirsten1985]

Well that looks really useful, and cute!

I don't get it, people dress their dogs in the most stupid of things, do they get comments all the time?? Like silly clothes and things, not useful things like that!