Scared about telling my older kids I am pregnant!

[Lucky.M]

I have three kids, 18, 14 (from previous relationships) and a 8 year old with my hubby. There is going to be big age gaps between them all! I know my youngest is going to love the idea of a new baby, he has gone on for years about having a younger brother or sister. But my older two I am terrified about telling. My oh hasn't helped he said last night he doesn't think their reactions are going to be good. My eldest is a girl and she works with children, so I thought she would be good. My middle son is right at that age where he will probably only worry about what he won't be able to do, like play his music loud when it's born. I don't know! I mean teenagers don't even like to think that their mum has sex! EEK! Has anyone else had a big age gap between their kids? Have you told them yet? And if you have what was their reactions? I think this being on my mind isn't helping me not sleep at night. Thanks x

 

[londoncharles]

My oldest is going on 12... and i also have a stepchild that lives with us and she is 11... so mine aren't in the age bracket as yours but when i told them 3yrs ago about my youngest child they were pretty happy... and this pregnancy.. i thought about waiting to tell the kids because there sooo caught up in there lil preteen life... but i ended up telling them and my son said... well, i hope its a boy because i don't want another sister... and then my husband step in and had a talk with them... so i say tell them when you feel the time is right... sorry i wasn't much help... but everything will workout fine...

 

[Liz2]

My oldest was 7 when I got pregnant with my last LO and he was very excited. Now he is almost 9 and I am pregnant again and he still loves the idea of it. I know that may change once he has 2 little siblings following him around but for now his reaction has been great.

There is a huge age gap with my siblings! My oldest brother being 10 years older than me and my little brother being 7 years younger than me. So, that is 17 years between them! I remember we were very excited when my mom told us she was pregnant again. Not to say things weren't strained because we had such a large gap but it all worked out well. Good luck!!!

 

[pinkie77]

I'm in a similar position to you but my kids aren't quite as old as yours. They're 13, 10 and 8 so a pretty big gap between my current 'baby' and this one!

I told them last weekend, mostly cos I've been like a zombie and snapping at everyone. Oldest was a bit shocked but she's got over it now, younger 2 were both thrilled!

Hope it does go well for you when you do tell them

 

[winegums]

hey hun when i was born i think my brother was about 14?? he adored me and looked after me loads until he died when i was 4 xxx

 

[Mysties]

My sister was 14 and my two brothers were 16 & 18 when I was born. Apparently they were over the moon when they found out - I was from a different father too. It's always great news when you find out there's going to be an addition to the family. The small chance that they aren't too happy, then they will definitely grow on the idea. A little brother or sister to dote on.

The sooner the know, the sooner they can enjoy it with you.

 

[Sandie_Cali]

Ha, I beat you all!!

I am scared to tell my older children as well from my divorce, I have a 23 year old, 19 year old and a 3 year old.

My two oldest are off in college living on their own and I am sure their reaction will not be a good one, I will be lectured.

My 3 year old knows and she is over the moon, she is soooooo happy she will have a sibiling. She knew way before anyone else including her poppa my OH.

I am going to try and wait until I am secure enough in the pregnancy to rock their world. I am sure they will come around, but still the initial shock is what I am not looking forward too.

I have also not told my family yet, they do not like my OH at all!! My OHs family does not know either, we are waiting til the pregnancy progresses more or I am showing. lol

So right now other than a couple of VERY close trusted friends sworn to secracy, my OH and my daughter, no one else knows.

Sooooooo ur not in this alone, there are many in the same boat

 

[Lucky.M]

hey hun when i was born i think my brother was about 14?? he adored me and looked after me loads until he died when i was 4 xxx

OMG that is awful!! I bet you really missed him. He must have only been about 18 then. xx

 

[Lucky.M]

Ha, I beat you all!!

I am scared to tell my older children as well from my divorce, I have a 23 year old, 19 year old and a 3 year old.

My two oldest are off in college living on their own and I am sure their reaction will not be a good one, I will be lectured.

My 3 year old knows and she is over the moon, she is soooooo happy she will have a sibiling. She knew way before anyone else including her poppa my OH.

I am going to try and wait until I am secure enough in the pregnancy to rock their world. I am sure they will come around, but still the initial shock is what I am not looking forward too.

I have also not told my family yet, they do not like my OH at all!! My OHs family does not know either, we are waiting til the pregnancy progresses more or I am showing. lol

So right now other than a couple of VERY close trusted friends sworn to secracy, my OH and my daughter, no one else knows.

Sooooooo ur not in this alone, there are many in the same boat

Wow! it's nice to meet someone in a similar position, I am also scared of telling my mum lol. Can you imagine that I am 35 and an adult! Let's hope our older ones are all good about it, I know my youngest will be excited, and that will be enough. I am going to tell them all separately I think that is best. xx

 

[Catters]

My daughter was 16 and my son 14, when I had my youngest daughter.... I think they were just shocked by the whole notion (I told them right away) and my oldest kept telling me "It better be a boy because if she's cuter then me, I'm going to be mad.."

Lo' and behold her baby sister was born and she was thrilled. My son was just like you said.. it was more of a 'how is this going to effect ME?' but he's just as happy and loves it when his baby sister bugs him.

Now that I am pregnant with our fourth and last addition to the family, they are so used to a toddler running around, that my daughter said, "What's one more brother or sister, really?? I'm excited!!" I also think she has it in her mind that I'm so consumed by being pregnant that I'm NOT really paying attention to her and her going ons (she's 18 now) but little does she know I'm even more on to her at the moment because I am not working as I took time off to enjoy this last pregnancy to it's fullest. She's also gone to appointments with me and I have to say, for her, it's been the best birth control in the world for her. She looks at me, shakes her head and says, "Omg.. I'll NEVER have a baby (as she looks at all the pictures in the office)".

Best of luck to you -- if it were me, I'd tell them soon.. give them a bit of time to get used to the idea.. You might be surprised by their reaction, and they'll have a number of months to accept it.

 

[Catters]

My daughter was 16 and my son 14, when I had my youngest daughter.... I think they were just shocked by the whole notion (I told them right away) and my oldest kept telling me "It better be a boy because if she's cuter then me, I'm going to be mad.."

Lo' and behold her baby sister was born and she was thrilled. My son was just like you said.. it was more of a 'how is this going to effect ME?' but he's just as happy and loves it when his baby sister bugs him.

Now that I am pregnant with our fourth and last addition to the family, they are so used to a toddler running around, that my daughter said, "What's one more brother or sister, really?? I'm excited!!" I also think she has it in her mind that I'm so consumed by being pregnant that I'm NOT really paying attention to her and her going ons (she's 18 now) but little does she know I'm even more on to her at the moment because I am not working as I took time off to enjoy this last pregnancy to it's fullest. She's also gone to appointments with me and I have to say, for her, it's been the best birth control in the world for her. She looks at me, shakes her head and says, "Omg.. I'll NEVER have a baby (as she looks at all the pictures in the office)".

Best of luck to you -- if it were me, I'd tell them soon.. give them a bit of time to get used to the idea.. You might be surprised by their reaction, and they'll have a number of months to accept it.

 

[Lucky.M]

Thanks. I think I will do in another week or two. Last night I was unable to sleep again, the worry is starting to get to me. It's getting me down. I am so tired and hormonal!! And that doesn't help x

 

[Sandie_Cali]

Hi Lucky,

How are you doing??

I am having a hard time sleeping too, I woke up last night at 300am and it just exhausts me throughout the day, at work I take my breaks in the car napping, it sounds terrible, but I am so tired I cant keep my eyes open After napping I am good to go til I get home.

When will you be telling your kids?? I was thinking depends if I am showing by my daughters graduation. My oldest will be graduating from college with two degrees on my Birthday June 5th, I am soo proud

 

[debsbaby]

I just told my 11, 13 and 15 years old children about the new baby last night. One game we always play when we are stuck somewhere waiting (like for our food in a restaurant) is Hangman (you know that game where you come up with a phrase or word and they have to guess letters. When they get one right, you fill in the blanks, and when they get it wrong, you put a body part on the hanging man on the gallows). Anyway, I said, hey guys, I've got a special hangman tonight. The phrase was "YOu are going to have a new sibling".
Well, it was a pretty good way to do it. Instead of sitting them down like I was giving them grave news, it was exciting. My girls were instantly excited. My son was more apprehensive about it, but he seems to be coming around.

My situation is complicated by the fact that I am single, and they don't know who the father of baby is...and my situation makes it where I can't reallly tell them right now, but that is the way it is.

 

[Lucky.M]

Thanks everyone. I did it today! Told my eldest first, she was great, can't wait to buy baby clothes lol. My youngest was so happy, my middle one was fine too, says he will give me lots of support. Phew!! I am so glad it's done with. I have been feeling so ill the last few days, and feeling stressed over it, so hope this will be a weight off of my mind xx

 

[Catters]

Thanks everyone. I did it today! Told my eldest first, she was great, can't wait to buy baby clothes lol. My youngest was so happy, my middle one was fine too, says he will give me lots of support. Phew!! I am so glad it's done with. I have been feeling so ill the last few days, and feeling stressed over it, so hope this will be a weight off of my mind xx

Oh fantastic! Glad it went well and you have less stress now... all is well!

 

[pinkneon]

I have three kids, 18, 14 (from previous relationships) and a 8 year old with my hubby. There is going to be big age gaps between them all! I know my youngest is going to love the idea of a new baby, he has gone on for years about having a younger brother or sister. But my older two I am terrified about telling. My oh hasn't helped he said last night he doesn't think their reactions are going to be good. My eldest is a girl and she works with children, so I thought she would be good. My middle son is right at that age where he will probably only worry about what he won't be able to do, like play his music loud when it's born. I don't know! I mean teenagers don't even like to think that their mum has sex! EEK! Has anyone else had a big age gap between their kids? Have you told them yet? And if you have what was their reactions? I think this being on my mind isn't helping me not sleep at night. Thanks x

I don't have any older children - this being my first baby - but I know some people who have. Someone I know recently had a baby and their older children are 15 and 16. They were a bit weird about it at first but now love the idea of a new baby! The love helping and are always bringing their friends round to see their new baby sister. They like to help look after her too so when their mom needs a rest they seem to go on 'baby duty' as they call it. You never know, your older kids may love the idea! They might want to help. You can always get your son to sound-proof his room if he doesn't like the idea of not playing loud music !

 

[pinkie77]

Brilliant to hear it went so well! xxx

 

[Irishmum1982]

Wow I posted the same kind of question I am worried about telling my 16 yr old I also have a nearly 4 yr old and she loves him dearly but I'm still nervous 😭😭😭😭