Scared because im young midwives wont listen to my plan!

[kbf48]

I'm only 20 but i know what i want ideally from my labour.

I don't really want a 'plan' as such because i don't want to be disappointed if it doesn't happen and i'm not naive enough to think everything will go how i want it!

But i'm terrified of needles and the thought of an epidural and Caesarean without needing it horrifies me.

I want to go as natural as possible for along as i can, i want to try a tens machine first and maybe a hot bath etc and a birthing ball. I would accept some kind of medication like diamorphine if i really cant cope but i am adamant i don't want an epidural!

I also know i don't want my OH to cut the cord until its stopped pulsating.


I know that i don't know what its going to feel like as i've never done it before, but my mum has had 4 kids, i have 3 younger brothers and she did all of us naturally and has warned me that as its my first they will try and tell me how to do it but i need to listen to my body.

I think i have quite strong views of what i want and i think ive prepared myself well, i have watched birthing programmes since i was about 14 because i find it so interesting and im actually excited to see how i cope and how it feels. I don't want anyone trying to tell me what to do or stress me out by not just letting me do what i want!


Does anyone have any tips of how to deal with midwives even though it is my first pregnancy and i dont really know what im doing?
Also, is it really that bad or if i just stay calm will i get through it?!

 

[mrsp14]

I think that these days they'll respect what you're saying, epiduraks are usually on request as far as I'm aware so no one will push it on you, just make it clear when you get there that you want it to be as natural as possible and you should be fine.

Good luck xxx

 

[NewlyMarried]

During my pregnancy every midwife i met was very pro natural labour. No midwife is really pro epidurl they only want to use them when labour isnt progressing well. Your plan sounds exactly like mine was. I was able to stay calm (i didnt do any hypnobirthing classes but have heard great things about them maybe you could look into it) and even though i have a low pain threshold i ended up having no pain relief.
You seem to have the perfect attitude - making a plan but understand that things happen and its not worth getting dissapointed over.
Im 25 and never felt looked down on by the midwives they are so supportive.
Best of luck hun - youll do great.
x

 

[lozzy21]

I was 23 when I was pregnant and had nothing but respect from midwifes. Doctors however were another thing. I had a hight BMI so got refered to see the consultant, my OH couldent get the time off work so my mum came with me. The consultant spoke to me like I was a child and even tried to tell me that they wouldent allow me to have a home birth. It wasent till I told her that she wasent allowed to tell me where I can and can't give birth did she stop speaking to me like a child and start speaking to me with respect.

 

[Tezzy]

I was 19 when I had my first and 20 when I had my second and I had both with only gas and air. Although I was young the midwives listened to me and I had (mostly) the births that I wanted as far as them being natural

 

[Donch03]

As long as your confident in your choices no good MW will try to put you off. Your choices sound brilliant hun. If you are really worried then maybe do a bit of research and get some facts down so that if your MW does question you then you have statistics to throw back at her. Well done and gd luck with the rest of your pregnancy x

 

[PrincessKay]

Im nearly 23 and my midwife hasnt been anything other than supportive of my homebirth. Im sure it will be the same for you, good luck

 

[Mummy1995]

I'm 16, and my midwife is great and is actually 'pushing' for me to have a natural homebirth! Midwives do seem inclined to to pro-natural birth, it's the consultants/doctors who seem to like you to be drugged up!

 

[_dreamer_]

Hope you don't mind me dropping in

I would say as you have strong views on what you want, they will probably listen to you no matter your age. I would suggest writing a birth plan, and make sure you partner knows too, as then when you go into labour and get to the hospital, they will have your wishes clearly in front of them. I did that, and they read mine on my admission, and knew exactly what I wanted which was natural as possible, gas and air if needed, but to try without anything else. My OH was briefed, as when you are in the middle of labour, sometimes you need someone to speak on your behalf!

I can highly recommend a TENS machine, it got me to 5cm at home, first labour, and something else to consider is a waterbirth. My tens broke (I dropped it - and cried!), and I was offered a waterbirth last minute, so I thought I'd give it a go. The water helped me so much. I managed with just breathing until the pushing stage, then used gas and air, which I would also highly recommend!

Best of luck, and I'm sure they will listen to you