Scared & in denial :(

[xolynn]

Okay so to start off I am 22 years old, I know thats not a teen..but I saw my post to be most fitting to this board. I took my second test today and it showed a faint positive line...I am assuming that is accurate by the directions on the test..it said any second line was a positive. I havent had a period since mid August...it took me this long to actually admit to myself I am probably pregnant. I am still living at home with my parents, and terrified to tell my dad. He has told me before I better not get preg. I feel like I have been in denial because I havent told anyone except my mother and boyfriend...my mom thinks I'm too young, and my boyfriend wants me to see a doctor to make sure everything is ok. He is less scared than I am! I have been ignoring the fact that I am probably pregnant..and today got the confirmation. The shock is beginning to fade...but I am devastated...I don't know what to do...I can't continue living at home and have a baby...don't feel ready at all..just want to keep it a secret from myself and the world. Its so depressing. Really need some advice on what to do from here...I'm so scared I'm too young for this and I wont be able to support the baby, or be a good mom...I just want to keep hiding it from everyone/myself

 

[lunar]

First off, welcome, and congrats (although I can tell you're not too excited).

I'm Carissa, 20, and my son, Payton, is 6 weeks old. I still live with my parents and I'm not going to lie, it's hard, and it was hard telling them. But you have to tell both your parents, and you really need to get to a doctor -- it sounds like you're decently far along and you really, really need to get care from a doctor ASAP, both for you and the baby.

If you're keeping your baby, you'll have to work out expenses, especially with your boyfriend. My parents have said they'll help how they can, but the expenses of my son fall to me and my boyfriend. Do either of you have jobs? Even part time jobs will be helpful.

But being scared does not mean you won't be a good mom, I think most girls here were terrified on finding out they were pregnant! (Of course, excluding those who were intentionally trying.)

Everything will work itself out, even if it seems like it won't. You're always welcome to message me to talk, we're not too far apart in age/situations!

 

[xolynn]

Both me and my boyfriend have a job...mine is only part-time, I make about 200 a week. And he works fulltime bring in at least 300 a week...I feel bad to say it but he is horrible with his money though...blows through his whole check in a matter of days I feel us trying to get our own place is the best option...if we budget our money right we will hopefully be able to get by..I'm horrible at making change in my life though.
I know i have to work up the courage to tell my dad the news...but its soooo hard. He tells me all the time its ok for me to live at home at 22..but if he found out this hed probably think different of me..
Im scared of my first doctor visit too...I've never even seen an OBGYN in my life before. And being this far along its probably potentially dangerous for me not too. I havent really had any symptoms of pregancy though strangely...my boobs hurt the first month or so..but now nothing at all. No morning sickness ever.. And I dont see any bump showing yet. Ugh. That is probably why I've been able to ignore the fact that I am pregnant for so long!

 

[bsd]

First of all, congrats on your pregnancy!
Second, it's definitely a good idea to confirm it with a doctors appointment. And don't feel like you can't be a good mom! As long as you love your baby unconditionally that's what makes you a good mom . Things may seem absolutely impossible now, but they will fall into place! I was in such a bad spot when I got pregnant and I couldn't do anything about it until 30 weeks (long story) so I was so depressed the entire time that I couldn't properly prepare for my baby. Everyone kept telling me things will fall into place, and now here I am a week before my due date 100% ready and anxiously awaiting!!

One of the biggest obstacles by boyfriend and I had to over come was where we lived. I was 19 when I got pregnant, and he was 18. We did not live on our own (lived with his grandparents) and did not make enough money to do so (even though we tried). I ended up having to ask my parents to move in with them, which was the LAST thing I wanted to do. It still kind of sucks but my OH and I are saving up as much as we can and we are hoping to be out of here within 4 months! I'm just glad I have a roof over my head I can bring my baby home to.

Its REALLY great you have support from your mom and your OH! And try talking to your dad after your appointment, you might be really surprised at his reaction! Also, talk to your mom for advice. You might not be in the best spot in your life right now to have a baby, but that doesn't mean you're too young. 22 is not that young at all! Way back in the day women all had babies from 16-20, that was the 'right age' to start having kids then. Are bodies do it best around this time. Explain to her that it is possible and you can make it work, you just have to stay positive and do a lot of planning, hopefully she offers to help

Welcome to BnB by the way, I hope things get easier for you!

 

[lunar]

Both me and my boyfriend have a job...mine is only part-time, I make about 200 a week. And he works fulltime bring in at least 300 a week...I feel bad to say it but he is horrible with his money though...blows through his whole check in a matter of days I feel us trying to get our own place is the best option...if we budget our money right we will hopefully be able to get by..I'm horrible at making change in my life though.
I know i have to work up the courage to tell my dad the news...but its soooo hard. He tells me all the time its ok for me to live at home at 22..but if he found out this hed probably think different of me..
Im scared of my first doctor visit too...I've never even seen an OBGYN in my life before. And being this far along its probably potentially dangerous for me not too. I havent really had any symptoms of pregancy though strangely...my boobs hurt the first month or so..but now nothing at all. No morning sickness ever.. And I dont see any bump showing yet. Ugh. That is probably why I've been able to ignore the fact that I am pregnant for so long!

How far along do you think you are? Somewhere between 8-12 weeks? You'd still be on the smaller side and not showing much! I didn't really "look" pregnant till around 23w, I just started looking chubby before then, haha!

On your first appointment, they'll probably give you a pap smear, and I imagine an ultra sound if you don't know how far you are.

Sorry your OH blows his money, maybe you can talk to him about putting away a certain amount each check? My OH tries to put at least half away for emergencies, otherwise he'd blow it all too!

 

[xforuiholdonx]

^^^she hasn't had a period since August.
I'm Lisa, 20 and I have a 2.5 yr old daughter named Emma, and am pregnant with our second child.
Telling your parents is hard, but it has to be done. My dad actually took it the best. Good luck!

 

[lunar]

^^^she hasn't had a period since August.
I'm Lisa, 20 and I have a 2.5 yr old daughter named Emma, and am pregnant with our second child.
Telling your parents is hard, but it has to be done. My dad actually took it the best. Good luck!

I know she said that, so does that make her 16w or 20w? I'm so bad at calculating everything!

 

[xVAP]

^^^she hasn't had a period since August.
I'm Lisa, 20 and I have a 2.5 yr old daughter named Emma, and am pregnant with our second child.
Telling your parents is hard, but it has to be done. My dad actually took it the best. Good luck!

I know she said that, so does that make her 16w or 20w? I'm so bad at calculating everything!

But surely if she's that far along, it wouldn't have been a faint positive?

 

[lunar]

^^^she hasn't had a period since August.
I'm Lisa, 20 and I have a 2.5 yr old daughter named Emma, and am pregnant with our second child.
Telling your parents is hard, but it has to be done. My dad actually took it the best. Good luck!

I know she said that, so does that make her 16w or 20w? I'm so bad at calculating everything!

But surely if she's that far along, it wouldn't have been a faint positive?

That's why I was thinking earlier, but even earlier (8-12w) would still be a dark positive. Maybe OP just ovulated later or has an irregular period.

 

[cluckerduckie]

She could be someone who has a low Hcg throughout her pregnancy. :shrugg:
Anyways, I'm 21 and expecting my 2nd in 54 days! hehe.
I moved out on my own after I graduated from high school and regardless of whatever the circumstances are, telling family-especially parents-is rough.
My husband is 24 and we both have incredibly stable jobs so financially, money isn't an issue.
You are 22. You aren't a minor. It's your decision as to what you want to do and I would pick out a plan and stick to it regardless of what your parents think. I may sound a bit crude but I'm a big believer in that if you decided to play the game, then you should be willing to except the consequences whatever they are.
With that being said, Congratulations! I know that with me having my 1st at 18, it was challenging but not something I would take back. It's kept me acting like a child with him yet made me more solid as an adult and defined my choices for my family.
I dreaded telling my parents that I was pregnant for a 2nd time. No harsh words were said though and life continued.

 

[Erinsmummy]

There is a thing called the hook effect which means if you have too much hsg in ur urine the test won't pick it up. My last period was in aug and im 19 weeks so I'd say you are between 17 and 20.
I know u r scared but I suggest get to a doctor and have it a confirmed and then sit ur dad down And tell him x

 

[AP]

^ this-you can get a fainter line in later pregnancy

OP I had my first at 22- as you can see I wasn't pregnant for nine months, so I really recommend you see a doctor and get some care to see where you are in your pregnancy and that you and baby are well. You'll know how far along you are, and know how much time you have before baby arrives.

I wish you all the best in telling you father but please get yourself checked out for your own and baby's wellbeing.

 

[Erinsmummy]

Hcg even lol, sorry on my phone!

 

[magic93]

Yeah im pretty sure your hcg levels are less farther in pregnancy they peek in between like 6 to 10 weeks and go down or something like that. Anyways you really need to see a doctor asap for some prenatal care and you should be taking vitamins too. Just tell your parents.. The longer you wait the harder it will be. It might seem really bad right now, but things will get better. Just face the music hun. Good luck and congratulations on your blessing. God wont give you more than you can handle.

 

[kajastarlight]

You can do it!!! I got pregnant with DS1 when I was 20. My life surely has turned out different than it would of had I not had my first child so young - but who's to say that "other life" would have been better?? I was so scared when I found out, but by the time he was born I was on cloud 9 to have him in my life And yes, you need to see the doctor! Now! Make your apt and OBGYNs aren't scarry so no need to worry there. And a Dad's job is to scare you into not getting pregnant until you are married - he might just take the news that you are better than you think. But obviously you know him better than I do - and your Mom probably knows him best! Maybe ask her how you should go about it?

 

[x__amour]

Welcome! I'm Shannon, 21, and I have a 2 year old named Victoria "Tori"!

 

[xolynn]

Well thanks for all the input everyone! I'm still having a hard time facing the reality of the situation...I'm guessing I'm probably at least 15 weeks along though possibly even as high as 20w. I'm really personal about myself so that's why I'm so scared to make a dr appt. I can't stand the thought of a stranger even if they are a med professional looking down there lol. And my mom is scared about telling my dad too which makes things worse...it's like everyone wants me to keep it a secret...that's why I turned to the forum for advice. I'll try to bring myself to make my first dr appt....I just hope there isn't any complications because I've waited so long...I've felt normal physically though this whole time so I guess that could be a positive...ugh this is so hard..i never thought I could even get pregnant cause me and my bf didn't use protection for like 2 years prior to this happening...I'm considering adoption but my bf doesn't like the idea of that and I'm not sure how I'd feel about it either once he/she was born...if I was rich and had a lot of money this wouldn't be so difficult...but I guess worse off people have made it work...I'm just so terrified and depressed. idk how to even cope right now...

 

[lizmageeful]

As everyone before me said, you have to go see a doctor. I'm almost 22 weeks along, and not only has my OBGYN made sure that im doing the right thing nutritionally/vitamin-ly for my baby, but also has eased a lot of my concerned about the whole thing. I also have JUST started actually looking pregnant, so the fact you dont look pregnant really means nothing. My family/FOB situation has been... interesting to say the least this entire time, we know we probably cant afford to do this the best way possible, but still we've talked it out and are trying to figure out things we can do. You cant even begin to figure out plans until you know your baby is on the way to being healthy, which is the first main concern.

 

[xforuiholdonx]

I had my first child at 17, though it was my second pregnancy. She was planned after a missed miscarriage at nearly 13 weeks. My now husband, who was my fiancé at the time had just gotten out of the military, and the miscarriage was traumatizing to him as well. He was almost 20. Not even three weeks into TTC, (he came home on October 5th, decided to TTC a week or so later) we got our second on November 5th. We moved out of my fathers house, and into our own 2 bedroom place. Though we had next to nothing, both working at minimum wage places, and getting nothing other then wic, we made it work. And we've made it work ever since. Things get stressful and things get hard. It's not always easy, but it is well worth it. Your 22 and are perfectly capable of doing the same sweetheart, as is your boyfriend. If your as far along as you think, you need to buck up and see a doctor. You'll need an ultrasound, and to be taking prenatals, and just general doctors care. Get a female if it makes you feel better, and take your boyfriend or your mom with you. As for your dad, I guess just sit him down and talk to him. I told my dad about my first on my 17th birthday...I was scared shitless needless to say. But my dad surprised me, and gave me a huge hug, and went out and bought me flowers and a birthday card. Sometimes they can surprise you. Huge sweety. Just know that you don't have to be rich to have a child.. You just have to be able to open your heart and love them. It's not the end of your world, I promise.

 

[jozylynn896]

Congrats! I'm Kristina. I'm 16 and 24 weeks along ( :

I didn't admit that I could be pregnant to myself for a while. Then when the doctor told me I was, she said I was like 3 and a half months along :/
My parents had no problem with it.
All I can tell you is that it really does suck being so young and pregnant. But you should tell your dad. If (god forbid) he does kick you out or something, at least you'll have time to find a new place to live. But if you don't tell him yet you won't have too much time before baby comes to find somewhere. You may be pleasantly surprised when you tell him though. Of course he will be upset but you are still his baby (no matter how old you are). And he will most likely (hopefully) come around.
I hope he comes around and hopefully you decide to keep the baby, too
I honestly love being pregnant! I know I'm young, but I love it!