Scared & in denial :(

[xolynn]

Reading everyone elses situations on here has put me in a much better mindset on this! I'm still getting terrified at times...but sometimes I feel almost good about it..which is making me happy. I wonder what the gender will be...how things will be a year from now in my life..but everyone is right, I need to make sure the baby is healthy first before moving to the next step to do anything. I know making 500 a week between me and my boyfriend we can make our own 2 bedroom apt work if we find the right place..theres no way I could live at home, all the bedrooms here are taken..and my dad works crazy hours and wouldnt get any sleep with a crying baby in the middle of the night(its a trailer so you can hear EVERYTHING no matter where in the place you are)... I'm trying to stay as positive as possible about this now..though at times I get very overwhelmed. And going through child birth...ahhh! Lol. My mom said it was the most painful thing ever. Thank you everyone for your input, you have all def. helped me out! I'll keep you updated once I go to my first dr visit. Fingers crossed he/she is healthy and progressing fine....

 

[xVAP]

I'm glad you're starting to feel better about everything. Every child is a gift, and whether you decide to keep him/her or not, the baby will be a blessing for either your family, or someone else's who wants to adopt a child. I'm glad your mother is supportive, and I hope your dad is just the same.

Have you booked an appointment yet? I dont know how it is there, but here I dont think they do any internal examinations until you're in labour, or you want a stretch and sweep?

 

[xolynn]

Well I worked up the courage to try and get my first appointment today...the office was closed. and they don't say there hours anywhere...I'm hoping to get through to them tomorrow..also what is a stretch and sweep?

 

[lizmageeful]

Stretch and sweeps are only if you're overdue, so Im not sure what Xvap is talking about in relation to that. But You're gonna want to get an appointment ASAP, but its good that you got the courage to call in the first place.

 

[xolynn]

So my first appointment has been made! It is for January 9th. I feel relieved, yet soooo nervous at the same time. Not sure what to expect...but the woman on the phone I talked to seemed very nice, supportive, and wanted to get me in asap with knowing I could possibly be so far along which made me feel better. They are mailing information to my house though...scared my dad is gonna find out I feel like he is going to think I'm so stupid, and call me a bunch of names when he finds out...

 

[xVAP]

Stretch and sweeps are only if you're overdue, so Im not sure what Xvap is talking about in relation to that. But You're gonna want to get an appointment ASAP, but its good that you got the courage to call in the first place.

I mean they'll only check your cervix if you're in labour/over due and want a stetch and sweep. So otherwise you won't have anyone with their fingers up there.

 

[GirlyGirl3]

Hi my names Lacie I had my son when I was 14.. Im 23 now and preggos with # 2... You can do it and be a good mom!!!!!!!!!!

 

[littlemommy]

Hi, I'm Desiree I'm 19 and have a 5months old daughter named Aubrii. I found out I was pregnant right after my 18th birthhday(novemeber 10th). Congrats! And it'll be okay! Me and my OH live on our own (he just turned 18 the day before I turned 19) he's the only one working at the moment too. He comes home with anywhere from 200- 600 a week. And we make it okay. Its hard at times but when you look your baby in the face it'll all be worth it

 

[lunar]

Stretch and sweeps are only if you're overdue, so Im not sure what Xvap is talking about in relation to that. But You're gonna want to get an appointment ASAP, but its good that you got the courage to call in the first place.

I mean they'll only check your cervix if you're in labour/over due and want a stetch and sweep. So otherwise you won't have anyone with their fingers up there.

Are you in UK? I was being checked 'up there' from 38w+!

OP, soo glad to hear you made an appointment! And regardless of what your dad says, it's very smart/mature of you to take responsibility and get checked out for you & baby!

 

[xVAP]

Are you in UK? I was being checked 'up there' from 38w+!

OP, soo glad to hear you made an appointment! And regardless of what your dad says, it's very smart/mature of you to take responsibility and get checked out for you & baby!

Yeah I am. Really!? I thought they didn't check til labour/past your due date. I don't know where I got that idea from :') I've not really spoken to anyone about it. Oh well that'll be fun

 

[xolynn]

Are you in UK? I was being checked 'up there' from 38w+!

OP, soo glad to hear you made an appointment! And regardless of what your dad says, it's very smart/mature of you to take responsibility and get checked out for you & baby!

I told my dad...and he's so happy to have another grand child on the way from his other younger daughter. Lmao!!!!! So not what I was expecting...on shock he's so concerned for me and the baby. My one friend thinks I'm stupid though and isn't happy with me...which is upsetting but if they wanna be that way clearly they are not a good friend to begin with.

 

[lizmageeful]

I'm so happy for you that your dad was so supportive. Also, friends can be really, really, really stupid when they find out you're pregnant. Most of my friends abandoned me when they found out. But, the good part it shows you who your TRUE friends are who will stick with you through anything.

 

[lunar]

Are you in UK? I was being checked 'up there' from 38w+!

OP, soo glad to hear you made an appointment! And regardless of what your dad says, it's very smart/mature of you to take responsibility and get checked out for you & baby!

I told my dad...and he's so happy to have another grand child on the way from his other younger daughter. Lmao!!!!! So not what I was expecting...on shock he's so concerned for me and the baby. My one friend thinks I'm stupid though and isn't happy with me...which is upsetting but if they wanna be that way clearly they are not a good friend to begin with.

Sadly, you'll find out who your 'real' friends are the farther along you get and once LO comes. But that's life and you'll meet better people.

So glad your dad took it well! Congrats! It's wonderful that you'll have support and won't have to worry anymore. Wish my dad had taken it as well as yours!

 

[xolynn]

Yeah I feel very relieved its not a secret anymore. And still surprised at how he took the news...the exact opposite of how I was expecting lol. The down side is though..everyone he talked to last night he found the need to tell them...though I kinda wanted to tell people on my own when I was ready.. Just hoping my friends will come around...its like I'm aware that an unplanned pregnancy is not going to be easy, but just because you don't think I can give the baby the life it deserves, doesn't mean I can't. I believe me and my boyfriend and supportive family can give this baby a wonderful life, despite what my judgemental friends think...

 

[jozylynn896]

I'm happy your dad took it well!
Ugh. My freaking mom did that. I was so pissed, I didn't really want people to know, because it was really hard for me. (I thought I didn't want the baby at the time, I planned ending the pregnancy) and she was just telling everyone I was pregnant. So if they saw me I'd feel terrible.
And I was upset because my whole family knew. She ran and told my grandma and my uncle, who has always been like my father figure! UGH. I was so pissed.

 

[xforuiholdonx]

I'm happy your father took it well, and that you have an appointment made!

 

[motherearth23]

Are you in UK? I was being checked 'up there' from 38w+!

OP, soo glad to hear you made an appointment! And regardless of what your dad says, it's very smart/mature of you to take responsibility and get checked out for you & baby!

I told my dad...and he's so happy to have another grand child on the way from his other younger daughter. Lmao!!!!! So not what I was expecting...on shock he's so concerned for me and the baby. My one friend thinks I'm stupid though and isn't happy with me...which is upsetting but if they wanna be that way clearly they are not a good friend to begin with.

I'm glad your dad took the news well. My mom just found out tonight, and she reacted horribly.

As for apartment searching, try and find something with utilities included. If you live somewhere cold, heat included is fantastic so you don't have to worry about keeping your baby warm without going broke. Electricity included is pretty major too. I live in a temporary housing for families, which I found out about through the local food pantry/homeless shellter. It is a really nice duplex, and the family on the other side is great. Definitely check out your local resources before going through a regular landlord/craigslist.

And as for birthing/pain? Definitely plan on taking childbirth education courses and doing plenty of research on your birthing options and pain management. From Lamaze breathing, to epidurals, there are plenty of options to help you in the scary moment of pain. I'm also scared, but I have done lots of yoga and meditation classes in the past and think the techniques will help me out soooo much when I am in labor.

Good luck! And I hope you get a doctor's appointment soon, it is awesome when you see a heartbeat and its like nothing else in the world. You should try posting over in first trimester (or second if you find out youre far along). This whole website is awesome, you should explore all the different forums. There are tons of threads about every kind of birthing, parenting, and any subject.
Message me if you want, I'm almost 20, but still post in the teen pregnancy sometimes because I feel like I'm not quite the adult I always pictured I'd be when I had my first child.

 

[Amy_T]

Glad you got sorted.... I fell pregnant with my first at 21, didn't tell a soul until 30+ weeks and it is the biggest regret of my life. When I finally got checked out I had high blood pressure and other issues and I hate that I put my baby at risk. I was single, just finished uni, lived with parents and definitely not the sort of person anyone expected to fall pregnant but it happened and the best things in life are often surprises! I am now 29, married to an amazing man, have a 2 year old daughter and another on the way!!

You will be fine, its a fab, albeit scary experience. X

 

[dickybird]

Welcome hon- not been here long myself, but I love it here and the majority of people are friendly and welcoming.

Firstly- it isn't your mums responsibility to tell your Dad- he deserves having you sitting him down and telling him. He will respect you a lot more for that. Do it sooner rather than later because the longer you leave it the more hurt he will be that you felt like you couldn't tell him. Even if he is angry, I can assure you he will feel that way.

Secondly- you need to see a doctor. And of course you will have to get a scan etc to make sure your baby is OK and to talk to a midwife (assume they are called that in the states?) about what you are going to do.

You need to get FOB to grow up and learn to be responsible. The day he gets paid you need to make sure he is putting money aside to buy things for this baby- they don't come cheap I can assure you and the last thing you need is him wasting his money on crap when you both have bigger things to worry about.

Please PM me at anytime if you need to chat.

 

[dickybird]

I obviously should of read all of the thread first- ha.