Scared to Test

[DaTucker]

**May be some triggers in here involving uterine ruptures**

I really don’t know if this is the appropriate spot to put this… I honestly couldn’t find a thread that I fit into…
I’m not in my two week wait. I’m not supposed to get pregnant anymore so there should have never been another two week wait. I have a beautiful 1 year old miracle boy. I unfortunately had a catastrophic uterine rupture while giving birth to him and was told under no circumstances should I get pregnant again.
Well. Here I am. A complete idiot. I’ve always known my body, my cycles, due to having infertility with my first two babies. Down to a T. I know when I ovulate without having to take tests because I have very painful ovulations. Dh and I had sex for the first time in over a month on Feb 22. Ironically the day after my sweet boy turned 1. He reached for the condoms and I told him he didn’t need to. I had ovulated about 5 days before, I knew without a doubt. And yet here I am a month later. 6 days late. I don’t know what happened with my cycle. I do know how busy I was last month and can honestly say I lost track of time. Having 4 kids does that to you. But I also know 100% I felt all signs of ovulating. The cramping. I had so much ewcm that I remember thinking I couldn’t wait until the day I no longer had to worry about ovulating. So WHY did I have all those signs only a few days after my period ended?? Not around my normal ovulation days?? I was so busy I didn’t even think to check on what day of my cycle I was on because I automatically thought I was past the danger zone due to those ovulation signs! We BD on cycle day 13. 5 days after I felt ovulation pains. I could literally cry.
I have PTSD from my last birth. The pain from the rupture. The difficulty breathing. I literally thought I was going to die. I know I need therapy. But I didn’t think I would be forced into facing it like this. I’m so scared. I don’t want to test. But the only 3 other times I’ve been late… I was pregnant.

I want to just keep going on with life like this isn’t happening. But I’ve been feeling sick to my stomach. Could be nerves. But it’s also always been my first symptom and always kicked in around this time.

I don’t know why I’m posting here exactly. I needed to tell somebody… I can’t tell anyone IRL…maybe once I hit two weeks late I’ll take a test…still crossing my fingers it’s not happening and I’m looking far too much into this…

 

[salamander91]

I'm so sorry for what you have been through. I really hope this is just a funky cycle xx

 

[happyface82]

Just sending a big hug.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I'm so sorry for what you've been through. That must have been incredibly traumatic.
I hope that you get some answers soon and everything is OK.

 

[gigglebox]

I am so, so sorry for what you went through. Do what is comfortable for you, but personally, as someone with anxiety issues, I'd just take the test to know for sure one way or the other. On one hand, you are already freaking out that you are pregnant, so that will not change except you can come up with a game plan sooner rather than later which will help with the anxiety about the situation. If it's negative, you can have the relief you need! Just my thoughts though, as that is how I would rationalize it if I were in your shoes.

It's been almost 4 years since your last birth, so I imagine scar tissue should be fully healed. You could talk to your ob, and maybe be monitored through a high risk doctor to keep track of the thickness of your uterus. I would wager you are not the first person this has happened to they have plans for situations like yours (my OB feared I was a risk for rupture with my third which is why I've looked into this). I think typically they do a planned c-section before your due date.

I hope you figure it out and whatever the outcome, you can have a peaceful mind about it

edited to add: I read your ticker wrong, but still, you've had a year or so for recovery from when I assumed you've had the last baby, that's a good amount. I hope everything is ok, I've been thinking about your story

 

[Suggerhoney]

I’m so so sorry for what you have been through,
I’m thinking of you.

 

[3boys]