Scred, Lost and confused. Feeling rather crazy and don't know what to do.

[ktm_x]

Hi everyone, just really need to talk as things have come to a head. Im nearly 27 weeks pregnant and for the last 6 weeks I have felt awful towards my OH. I have been non stop picking fights with him (this all began over a party he got invited to and I never, so I went mad) Usually after an arguement things would be ok but this time we have never fully returned to normal. I have been picking fights with him constantly.

I went through a bad spell at work in the last month too and I felt totally stressed out. I started taking panic attacks and these got worse when me and OH argued. The last couple of weeks my head has been a complete mess, I cannot think straight I am doubting my love for my OH, our relationship, our past and our future. I have this really weird feeling towards him. When I am with him I am fine but the minute he is not there I feel weird and pick a fight. I finish our relationship at the drop of a hat because this makes me feel better (for around 5 minutes) then the next I'm craving him to just come and hug me. When I try and think out what is really going on, I can't. I can't think straight.

I sat and stared at myself in the mirror yday for ages and I asked myself what the hell was going on and I truly couldn't answer. Before this pregnancy and even during most of it I was happy and content in my relationship, now I am completely pickled. Me and my OH's best friend have never got on, I used to be able to let this go, now I can't and have to argue about it all the time. I can't let anything go.

He is a truly amazing guy, he puts up with loads, loves me to bits and respects me. I feel so guilty that I feel empty towards him atm, and that I am questioning did I ever love him. I don't know what the hell is going on with me. I don't know whether I should end it for good, or what? It was my 21st bday last w/e and Valentines day. He spoiled me rotten and I felt like I never even appreciated it which I feel awful for. I am fine with friends and family, they are not receiving this behaviour from me. Why is my poor OH? I feel like my head could explode, I want to scream, I can hardly even cry about this but things such as tv progs etc have me howling.

I am up and down, happy one min then sad the next. This niggly feeling only is present towards OH I am fine with friends and family although I do have the odd rage at them. It's like I can be happy all day then that feeling creeps up as if to say I'm still here...as crazy as that sounds.

I have a history of anxiety and depression and I went through the whole questioning my relationship/do I love him etc with my last bf, who was admittedly abusive, possessive and violent but my current OH is the complete opposite. He does not deserve this but I really don't know what the hell is going on. I can't go on like this. I want my old happy relationship back.

 

[cooney]

I would see a doctor hun. I felt crazy when I was pregnant too. My OH is wonderful and when I was pregnant for some reason every time her left the house I thought he was cheating on me even though there was NOTHING suspicious about his behavior. Pregnancy can do strange things for you. If you realize that he is a wonderful guy then why break up with him? I would wait a few months until after the baby is born to make that decision. Wait until the crazy-hormones are out of your system. If he has done nothing wrong I don't see why you would break up with him, especially with a baby on the way.

I would see a doctor about your feelings. For me I knew my thoughts were crazy so I just tried to be good and bottle them up even though my mind was going crazy. I can't however recommend this to you or anyone.

I would also recommend talking to your OH about this. Reassure him that you love him (if you do) and let him know about how you feel crazy. Communication is so important. If he understands the situation then maybe he will fell better about how you have been acting.

Hope that helps.