Second baby with different father

[xcarlydx]

Just wondering if anyone else is in the same situation. This is my second baby boy but to a different dad. I'm worrying about some stuff that's probably silly like what if they look totally different and what if they fight about having different dads or my first boy feels left out. My little boy still see's his dad every weekend and they're really close and he's also close to my partner.

My partner will and always has since we've been together treated my son like his own so I know he would never treat them differently. Just a weird set up I guess.

Anyone else in this situation or have 2 kids to different dads?

Thanks xx

 

[babytibby]

Me. I have a new partner to my 2 girls and 1 boy. boy lives with his dad (he's 15 and really didn't get on with his eldest sister (twin so also 15) and had adopted his dads violent personality so as much as it hurt it was for the best but he only lives up the road.

My 7 year old is confused over what name the baby will have, she thinks it should be the same as hers though she has my ex's name (we were married) so that would never happen but she is finding it difficult to understand that bit. She has also asked if her daddy would still be the babys daddy but I think we are getting there now.

I do wonder what the baby will look like etc. Its weird to think it could look totally different to my other 3 but I'm sure there will be some similarities.

 

[LittleBoo]

Meee I'm from 3rd tri but still, my first son's father has never met him, never bothered. My current partner treats him like his own, but I still worry DS1 may feel left out when the new arrival turns up. My first has blonde hair and blue eyes like his dad, me and OH both have dark hair and dark eyes, so I'm guessing bubs will look like us. Who knows though? x

 

[xcarlydx]

Same with my boy he has blonde hair and blue eyes like his daddy. My OH has dark hair but still blue eyes. I think he was blonde as a child so i'm hoping they look similar. I guess it's about how they are brought up like staying in the same home (apart from ds1 going to his dads at weekends) and going to same school and nurseries ect and growing up with the same values and being treating fairly. I actually have a half brother and even though he is my brother he's very close to his dad (my stepdad) and my relationship with my stepdad is more like friends. So it does separate us a bit.

 

[JackiePed]

I am from a 'multiple-branch' family and we're all ok. Looking different isn't a big deal.. in fact those of us who look the MOST different from each other are me and my full-blood brother, the only sibling with which I share both mom and dad.
I have a half-sister from different dad whom I grew up with, we never really talked about the fact that we had different dads... her dad raised us at first, and I visited my dad on my own.
I have two other half-siblings who are from different mom same dad, and we get along GREAT and are very close. Again, we don't really talk alot about our different parents. They are alot younger than me, so we just refer to my dad and my stepmom as "Dad" or "Mom"... it's really no big deal.

 

[AmyR]

Yup! I was married at 21, and had my first daughter when I was 26, and we split a year later. I am now re-married and have #2 on the way (his first, my 2nd) and its another girl.

I am in the process of fighting for guardianship/custody of my first, right now its joint and we cant agree on ANYTHING! Including where she is to go to school in September so trial is Aug 6th, really hope I win....

Anyway, yes I am nervous about the whole thing, different dads, one stays home, one goes to visit real dad...holidays, etc.

 

[marycotter567]

I have a half sister -- she grew up without her father..mine was in our lives. I look totaly like my dad and she looks like hers but that never even occured to me really. She is my sister, i dont even think of her as a half sister or think abt the fact that we have different dads.

 

[Duejan2012]

agreed with the comment above me. I have a "half sister" but there is no way that i think of her like that. We get along great and NEVER thought that we didnt have the same dad. Really i cant believe how it just doesnt matter if we are just half sisters. People say oh what sister are you talking about your sister or your half sister. I say No they are both my sisters both (i have 2 sisters one full blood and one half), So yea i dont think they will have any problems. just from my self experiance

 

[NDH]

My nephews both have different fathers, and both have their dads last names. They don't seem to notice or care about that in the least, maybe cause neither has SIL's last name though. The eldest's dad is not in the picture and grandparents have had majority custody but now that he's 6 he spends a lot more time with his mom. The youngest has shared custody between both his parents. They're both very young but cope quite well. The eldest does get confused sometimes about who is mom and who is grandma, and he does wonder why the youngest gets to spend time with 'dad' and he doesn't though.

 

[Cuffy]

Me too and I have already laid the law down about persons who treat the children any different family or not. My son isn't aware that my partner isn't his dad as we have been together since I was 8 weeks gone and his biological father wasnt suitable-hence we broke up when I found out I was expecting and has shown no interest whatsoever the courts decided to award parental rights to my husband too which says a lot! I don't know how this is going to go with the new babies but I hope it will be fine x

 

[Skippy54]

I'm not quite in the same situation, but I do have step children, I know when my step children will be around my bub, I won't treat any of them differently xx

 

[sparklyjubbly]

It's really encouraging to see so many of us working with 'different' family set ups. My own could mirror the original poster. I am expecting my 2nd boy with a different dad.

DS1 Thom was born when i was 21 and after finding out the dad had been cheating on me and almost missed the birth as he was with another woman, we split and i became a single mum for 3 years. I then met my boyfriend, now husband, Ray and almost 6 years later and almost 30 years old (!), we're married and expecting a child together. Ray took on my son and i back 6 years ago and we never looked back! Thom still has a great relationship with his dad and Ray and I have a good relationship with his dad and girlfriend too. Everyone is happy about our new arrival and i have no worries at all.

I come from a branched family myself with technically 2 half sisters and a half brother but we're lucky enough not to see eachother that way - we're all just brother and sisters. My husband Ray also has a full brother and three step-brothers and sisters but feels the same about his siblings.

Families can be complicated and damn hard work, but if we're open and honest... and fill them with love and happiness then even complicated family situations can work wonderfully

 

[OliveMartini]

Me

My DD's sperm donor isn't in the picture. My fiance loves my DD as his own, and she calls him daddy. But the men look SOOOOOOOOOOOO different. Sperm donor is 3 foot nothing (lol) and my fiance is like 10 feet tall and mega thin! Complete opposites. My DD is a right chunky monkey, and is sooooo short legged just like her sperm donor. And I am worried that this little girl will be tall and thin like my fiance and just look nothing alike!

That said, I'm not worried about the girls fighting cus' my fiance is daddy to both of my girls. He just got DD premade

 

[05mummy07]

In the same boat. I have two boys with one guy both boys have my surname and live with me, and this baby will have a different dad, and once again will have my surname (despite the dad being an arse about it) My eldest child knows this baby will have a different dad, but it doesn't bother him in the slightest, My youngest right now is too young to understand, obviously he'll pick up on it as he grows, but so long as all my kids have the same surname I think things will be fine

 

[Maze]

My son is 5 and is from a different relationship, this is my new husband's first... and I worry about my wee man feeling left out, but we have had so much talk about how we are all a family, the 4 of us... baby in my tummy included, that I think he will adjust OK.

But I know how you feel.

He just had a sister born from his dad in the spring, so he has already had a taste of what it will be like. However since he lives with me full-time and I am all important mommy, I think it will be a little different.

 

[babyhopesxx]

I have a 5 yr old son from my ex, we were together for 6 years and split up when DS was 17 mths old. He still sees his dad every other wkend and has the occasional holiday with him so has a good relationship with him.

This is my 2nd baby and my OH's 1st baby. I do worry that DS will be left out, or DS & the new baby being treated differently by OH's family.

Also, when DS stays with his dad i will miss him even more because i want us all to stay together as a family, not have DS go off and seeing his dad.

But another thing that really bothers me is my 2 children with have different surnames, because they will both take their dads names, and i will have a different surname to both my kids

 

[liz1985]

My OH has 3 1/2 siblings and 2 full siblings, with three different dads in total. My OH hasnt seen his real dad since he was 8 and thinks of his step dad as dad. Him and brothers and sisters dont think of each other as 1/2 at all i dont think it ever even crosses their mind, there all freally close, not sure if this would be same if older ones still saw real dad, but i think it would, all families are different, me an my sis are full siblings, parents always bin together etc and were not as close growing up as OH was to his siblings x

 

[Sarah24]

Not there myself as this is my first, but from the opposite end, I have 2 brothers and a sister all different families. Same with my oh. I look similar to all my siblings, and we all have a game on who has the crappiest father lol. Rivalry can be an issue in any family, we coped ok though : )

 

[kitalola]

this is my 2nd and my husbands 1st. He has always treated my daughter like his own. We got together when she was six and even then she had no contact with her real dad, he just lost interest when he had more kids to another woman. The thing that worries me is that my daughter will be thirteen when my son is born and though she is super excited I can't help feeling its a very vulnerable age and worry that she is gonna feel pushed aside as she has had our full attention for so long being the little princess of the family. Just trying to make her still feel special as she is still the only girl grandchild.

 

[stormbear]

I have a 20 month old with my first husband... I'm now with a new man that wants his first child, I'm terrified of how DS will manage. He goes back and forth every week to dads... Will he wonder why he has to go but the new LO gets to stay with mommy?? I already hate sharing him