Second thoughts about natural/unmedicated birth?

[macydarling]

Hi everyone :wave: I'm 21 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby. After a not so great experience with my previous ob-gyn I decided to go a different route this time. I absolutely love the birthing center and every single one of the midwives. I had a really difficult first 5 months dealing with HG and could not have gotten through it without their support.
I have never really been into the idea of a natural birth, I don't really consider myself to be particularly brave or good with pain. I do like the idea of not having to go back to the hospital after spending so much time there with my sickness and the birthing center is really lovely. I also feel fairly comfortable that if there are any complications the midwives will be able to handle it. And if not the fire department is next door and the hospital is 7 minutes away. Although I do have a small nagging worry about not being at the hospital for if there is a problem...
Anyway, my main concern is that it will be terribly painful and I will end up regretting not having the option of pain relief. I think maybe reading natural birthing stories was a bad idea because it has terrified me! On the flipside, I'm also worried to get an epidural because my DH has voiced his many concerns about that possibly going wrong (I think he must have been googling lol). I only have one friend with a child and she had a c-section, when I told her my plans to go unmedicated I thought her eyes were going to pop out of her head and she said she thinks I will change my mind when the contractions start.
So basically, I am now terrified of both a natural birth AND a medicated birth and I really don't know what to do. My husband wants me to have the natural birth at the center because "that's the whole point of going there" (although the midwives will deliver out of the hospital too) but I'm really unsure. I just don't know what to do and I need to let the midwives know my plans asap...

 

[Delphine11]

Nobody knows in advance how their birth is going to go. It'd be lovely if we did! It wouldn't be so scary then. I hate unpredictable things : D

But I would always go for a natural birth over a medicated one any day It looks like I'm going to have to be induced and I hate the idea. The more 'interfering' that's done, the more you're likely to need eg having an epidural can increase the risk of interventions by 50%. So more risk of a c section and forceps.

Yes, giving birth hurts but you can cope with it. I suggest you take a look at a book about hypnobirthing.

 

[Srrme]

I have had a medicated birth, an emergency c-section, and an all natural VBAC. Out of all 3 births, I preferred my natural birth (so much that I am planning a home birth this time). Yes it was painful, but I found walking through contractions helped A LOT.

I hated the epidural with my first. I didn't like not being able to feel my lower body, and not knowing when I needed to push! I also had a bruised feeling on my back for the longest time. I wasn't able to move my legs for a little while after giving birth, and that in itself sucked.

You're the only one who can make this decision though. There's pros and cons for both sides, but just know the pain of labor and delivery is TEMPORARY and your body was made to handle and do this!

 

[jlw617]

I know what you mean, I really want to try hard to have a natural birth this time and even hired a doula but I'm so afraid I won't be able to cope with the pain, but I really don't want an epidural this time either! It's such a hard decision!

 

[ElmaWG]

As a previous poster said, your body is designed for this and you can handle it. Yeah it's gonna hurt, but for me it was only 'unbearable' during transition. At that point I mentioned to husband I was thinking of the epidural, but it was already Time to push ( which hurt so much less).

I think if you're leaning toward a natural birth, the best advice is to be informed. Knowledge is power. (The ladies mat the birth center can help so much with this). If you know what is expected, and what is going on with your body during labor, you will be more confident. The worst thing during labor is Fear, which is scientifically shown to stall labor.

I didn't do hyptnobirthing (though I know people who recommend it). I had a sort-of mantra I focused on in the weeks leading up labor and during labor. Basically it was: "I am Strong. My Body was designed for this. I will soon hold my Baby. I am Loved. ". ... It kept the oxitocin (sp?) flowing!

 

[MummyToAmberx]

Seriously, forget about it all.

As long as your aware of what options are available to you Thats all you need right now.

Ive had 3 babies, 3 totally different pregnancies and 3 different labours. You cant prepare(to an extent) for whats going to happen come labour day.
each birth ive had ive used less pain med but pains been more intense but shorter in length.

Why do the mws need to know your plans so early on? Have you looked into pool? I had water birth & no pain relief with my last.

 

[BunnyN]

Don't listen to people who tell you you can't do it. I had two unmedicated home births and they were wonderful. On the whole I actually loved labour and would do it again any day. I don't know anyone in real life who felt that way about their medicated birth. My first labour was 38hrs total (almost 30 active) and I was exaughsted but found the pain managable as long as I was free to move about as I wanted. I also had HG and would happily choose going through another 38hr labour over one day of HG. I even told the MW while I was in active labour that it wasn't nearly as bad as morning sickness, which I think rather surprised her! Morning sickness made me feel miserable all the time with labour at least there was a break between contractions!

One of the things that put me off a hospital birth is that they had a very patronising 'we know better' way about them when we said we wanted a natural bith and my husband was actually laughed at for saying I didn't want an epidural. I think a lot of women fail at a natural birth because they don't really have any support for it. If no one really believes you can do it it makes having a natural birth much harder. Good support is important. I really loved our MW and it sounds like you have a good relationship with your team.

Of course you never know how the birth is going to go on the day and to some degree you have to be flexible. There is no shame in changing your plans. If you decide you do want pain relief how hard is it for you to transfer? If you go for a medicalized birth you can't change your mind but with a natural birth you can usually change if you need/want to. Sometimes complications beyond your control mean a CS or other intervention really is the best option. But the idea lots of women and even doctors have that there is no chance that a natural birth is going to work is just silly. You have a very good chance of having a very good natural birth experience.

Not long after my first HB I me a woman who had a CS for twins. She looked at me with awe and kept telling me how brave I was when I said I had had a HB. To me she was the brave one. It may have been the best choice for her and I may have done the same but facing major surgery and recovery while looking after twins seems way scarier than my great experience in the comfort of my own home and fast and painless recovery.

 

[BunnyN]

Sorry, I just realised how long my post was, didn't mean to write a novel! After having had two such lovely experiences I love to share . Id never want to pressure someone into a natural birth but I think sharing the positive side of it is important to show it is a real option, not just a nice thought that no one ever manages. Now I quite enjoy the amazed looks when I say I had a natural birth, especially when I say my boy was 11lbs and I didn't even have a stitch .

 

[macydarling]

Thank you very much for the responses ladies Bunny, no worries, I enjoyed reading your novel!
I have no idea why the mws need to know already what my plans are...I've already told them I want to give birth at the center, it's just that I started having second thoughts recently. I have to admit I do feel better reading your responses!
The birthing pool is available at the center for an extra out of pocket fee. I wonder if it's worth it? You have to pay ahead of time for it. Nitrous oxide, laughing gas is also available for an additional fee. I've never used it before so I'm not sure about that

 

[ElmaWG]

Some one correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe nitrous is the 'gas' in 'gas and air' that so many women I the UK use during labor. Sounds great to me, but didn't think it was usually an option in the US.

 

[macydarling]

Elma, I think it is! I'm not sure about other places but it's very new at my birthing center, they just started offering it last year. I've never used it before. I've heard it can help calm anxiety though and make you relax.

 

[laura109]

I planned to have an epidural or pool birth. I said no gas and air and no diamorphine!

I ended up getting induced and within 2 hours i had contractions every 3 mins. Yes its intense and painful but with the love and support of your partner you get through it and taking whatever you want at the time.

i remember being in pain stood up and thinking its so bad i cant stand sit or lay. The moment i was on that gas and air (that i did not want) i floated away. It honestly helped. By the end tho i had wanted an epidural. Nobody was available so i had to feel the pain
I whinged and took the gas and air and then it was time to push. I think not having the epi helped me feel to push. At that point i put everything into it thinking i just dont care anymore. She gave me a tiny cut and was going to suction. I pushed so hard i got her out myself. All i remember is this tiny baby eyes open.looking around and a thick mop of hair. Could not believe that was that bump!

Shes been by my side ever since lol. All i can say is looking back there was no point making a plan. Get clued up and go with it. I needed abit of pain relief and im glad i gave it a try xx

 

[NotNic]

I think it's very mean of people to undermine you considering a natural delivery. I had an unmedicated labour with my first but he got stuck so I ended up having a spinal and a delivery in theatre. With my second his position was great. I didn't feel I needed anything until two hours before he was born, so apart from gas and air during transition I didn't have any drugs at all. I felt so much better after that birth.

Most of my friends who were able to have a vaginal.birth have delivered without drugs or just on gas and air. It is entirely possible and personally was much more enjoyable without recovering from the drugs. Both times I've used the pool though. It was amazing for the pain first time and the second time my son was caught up in his cord and I think being in the water made it calmer and easier to untangle him.

 

[lisaalove]

It's the same thing they use if you've ever gotten your wisdom teeth out or for other things at the dentist if you have anxiety about it. it deffinately helps with anxieties. I am hoping for a non epi birth as well and being induced in 10 hours with pitocin. I am having second thoughts as well but I keep reminding myself that my body can handle this tthat I am a strong woman and it will all be worth it and over shortly! My only advice is stay positive and thank the heavens that your hubby is supportive of your choice to natural birth. Mine has just told me the whole time I'm going to get an epi because I'm a big baby who can't handle pain, my motivation is to hopefully prove him wrong
Good luck and be happy with whatever you chose! ♡♡

 

[macydarling]

Aww, that's so exciting Lisa! You can do this! Congrats mama!
I've never had laughing gas during a dental procedure or anything...kind of wish I had so that I would know what to expect!

 

[jlw617]

Thank you very much for the responses ladies Bunny, no worries, I enjoyed reading your novel!
I have no idea why the mws need to know already what my plans are...I've already told them I want to give birth at the center, it's just that I started having second thoughts recently. I have to admit I do feel better reading your responses!
The birthing pool is available at the center for an extra out of pocket fee. I wonder if it's worth it? You have to pay ahead of time for it. Nitrous oxide, laughing gas is also available for an additional fee. I've never used it before so I'm not sure about that

What?! Which hospital in md?

 

[jlw617]

Some one correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe nitrous is the 'gas' in 'gas and air' that so many women I the UK use during labor. Sounds great to me, but didn't think it was usually an option in the US.

Yes, unfortunately only a handful of hospitals in the U.S. Use it right now.

 

[macydarling]

Not a hospital, a free standing birthing center actually. I haven't heard of any hospitals using it. If I went to the hospital they work with instead of the birth center they would only offer the epidural. I'm thinking I will go with the birthing center since everyone seems to have so many positive things to say about the nitrous oxide

 

[Kess]

You're worried about coping with the pain - does it help to think that until very recently, there was no other option, so all of your female ancestors coped fine without epidural etc?

I had only G&A, TENS and a birth pool with my first, and plan the same again for this baby. My birth story is in my signature if you want to read a positive one, and there are others on the "Home and Natural Birthing" subforum. It's not uncommon to hear women there describing their unmedicated births as "amazing", which I don't think I've ever heard a woman who had a medicated birth say.

An unmedicated birth is more painful at the time (though water has been described as "second only to an epidural for pain relief") but recovery seems faster for most people (I was up and fine very soon after).

 

[londonangel]

It really depends on you. Presumably you will labour at home for as long as possible. I was told with Georgia to come in once contractions felt unbearable. By 9.45pm (less than her and half after my waters broke) I was asking for an epidural but then I got a terrific urge to push and G arrived 13 minutes later! I had gas and air during the last hour (am I right in thinking it is not widely used in the States) but did not find it that effective, although it took the edge off.

With my first I had an induction with syntocinon and had an epidural as it was recommended by the consultant and midwives. It still hurt by the end though and I had complications with a retained placenta, although I think that was because I was so overdue and it was falling apart. I had no side effects from epidural but eventually had to be catheterised.

I would speak to midwives and ask whether if you book to go to birthing centre, if on the day you feel the pain is too much and you want an epidural whether you can just go to hospital instead. That is what I would do. The actual pushing bit did not hurt with either of my kids, even the second one where there was no pain relief (never felt the ring of fire!).

Good luck!