Selfish OH resents the baby.

[MissCourtneyP]

Is this your first baby? I'm guessing he is terrified and finding it hard to show it.

I recommend the following books for him:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Expectant-Dads-Survival-Guide-Everything/dp/0091929792/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1316702973&sr=1-1

or

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Every-Guys-Guide-Expect-Expecting/dp/0965670104/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1316702973&sr=1-2

Another one is "The Everything Father-To-Be Book"...it goes over everything to expect in pregnancy and the first year, but in guy terms. My OH loves it. (and he loves that when I talk about a certain ache or pain etc, he understands what I'm talking about and that it's normal. He also likes to try to educate me on things too lol. This is his first baby and my second...so it's funny)

 

[ggbaby2]

I really hope things look up for you. I've heard that a lot of men go through disconnect during pregnancy although i think yours may be taking it a bit too far i mean really tossing the scan on the floor? I think i'd be very angry and just say if u want out there's the door no chains to keep you here. but that's just me goodluck with the remainder of your pregnancy

 

[Jaylynne]

Isn't that attractive, an almost 40 year old throwing a temper tantrum with your scan picture. I don't care if he's having disconnect issues, feeling awful that you're sick etc, he wanted children asap, he created a baby with you and now he thinks he's entitled to whining like a brat? I would agree with the other pp that said to go to your parents or a relative until he realizes it's time to be a man (wow imagine that).
My husband is also close to 40 (he'll be 38 next month) and I'm 26 so we have a big gap too. He was also selfish when we first met although not to the extent of your OH. Older men take longer to change because they've been stuck that way for quite a while. YOU can't change them as they have to be the ones to change or it won't work. I left him, dated a few guys and he got upset that i didn't need him, manned up and now he's much better at compromising. Now we are married and he's been wonderful during this pregnancy and in general. I couldn't ask for more support.
Sometimes you have to step away from the picture so they can realize how much of an ass they are.

 

[Animaniacs]

Sorry he's like this and I hope he changes. To all of the ladies, just don't do it all for them. They are grown men. Don't coddle them, don't make them all of their dinners, put away their clothes, etc. Their mothers did that and we have to stop it. My hubby does a lot. Yes, he works, but I work too, plus take care of the kids all day. He can make a grilled cheese when he gets home from work if I'm tired or helping the kids with homework. It won't kill him. Plus, we are a team, we get things done together. Don't make it a battle where you keep scores, just get things done. I've been with my hubby for 16 years, so I have some experience with this.

I've seen my mom coddle my dad his whole life and it's sooooo sad to see a 65 year old man who can't do anything for himself, even when she went to get a hip replacement. My MIL has babied my FIL, too, and while not as bad as my dad, it's still not good.

 

[MissCourtneyP]

Isn't that attractive, an almost 40 year old throwing a temper tantrum with your scan picture. I don't care if he's having disconnect issues, feeling awful that you're sick etc, he wanted children asap, he created a baby with you and now he thinks he's entitled to whining like a brat? I would agree with the other pp that said to go to your parents or a relative until he realizes it's time to be a man (wow imagine that).
My husband is also close to 40 (he'll be 38 next month) and I'm 26 so we have a big gap too. He was also selfish when we first met although not to the extent of your OH. Older men take longer to change because they've been stuck that way for quite a while. YOU can't change them as they have to be the ones to change or it won't work. I left him, dated a few guys and he got upset that i didn't need him, manned up and now he's much better at compromising. Now we are married and he's been wonderful during this pregnancy and in general. I couldn't ask for more support.
Sometimes you have to step away from the picture so they can realize how much of an ass they are.

This was Jer too....he had some growing up to do when we first met, and eventually I couldn't handle it anymore...so we split for about 3 months (honestly, with no intention of getting back together) and he did some soul searching and realized what he REALLY wanted in life, and basically, that he was an idiot before lol. Thing's are black and white in regards to how they were before and how they are now...But I also put my foot down when he came back around after our split and told him the bare bones truth about how I'd been feeling....there's something about a chick who stands her ground that's SUPER attractive to men. Also keep that in mind

Sorry he's like this and I hope he changes. To all of the ladies, just don't do it all for them. They are grown men. Don't coddle them, don't make them all of their dinners, put away their clothes, etc. Their mothers did that and we have to stop it. My hubby does a lot. Yes, he works, but I work too, plus take care of the kids all day. He can make a grilled cheese when he gets home from work if I'm tired or helping the kids with homework. It won't kill him. Plus, we are a team, we get things done together. Don't make it a battle where you keep scores, just get things done. I've been with my hubby for 16 years, so I have some experience with this.

I've seen my mom coddle my dad his whole life and it's sooooo sad to see a 65 year old man who can't do anything for himself, even when she went to get a hip replacement. My MIL has babied my FIL, too, and while not as bad as my dad, it's still not good.

My ex's mom has hen pecked her hubby so badly as well...it's ridiculous. He doesn't do anything....cant even get himself a drink from the fridge. And the sad part is, you can see it in him that he feels belittled by it and really just wants to "be a man" and have a little independence. He can't even form his own opinion on anything! It's really upsetting...

 

[Gretaa]

oh dear... I feel sorry for you, as women will always be more emotional towards pregnancy than men. but throwing a photo of the scan on the floor isn't exceptional at all. If you've tried talking, try AGAIN! Communication is the key, ask what's bothering him and maybe, if he doesn't want this child, he doesn't want to be with you anymore? Ask him open questions and wait for his answer. Sooner or later his stones on the chest will fall and he'll tell u that there's something indeed that doesn't let him look at this pregnancy as it should be looked at. Good luck! and be strong ! xx

 

[eulmh82]

ah I'm sorry you feel like this. My Oh is being weird but not like this! He has got annoyed because I go to bed at 8pm every night but I stayed up late for my sister's hen do - apparently I don;t make the effort for him. I was like that was a one off and I had to make the effort for her. i said take me out and I will stay up later!

 

[Jaylynne]

Animaniacs, my mom does practically everything for my dad and it drives me nuts. The man is 62 and only knows how to cook eggs and make a sandwich. Oh and grill. She does his laundry, ironing, makes his lunches for work, cooks every night, cleans house, picks up after him... I know this is the agreement they had when married that he would work and she would take care of kids and house but honestly I think she's treated more like a maid as my father rarely thanks her and doesn't feel equal.
My husband may be older than me by a dozen years, but he knows how to cook, clean, do laundry, etc. I'd much rather have this than my parents relationship.

 

[Kywiki]

So sorry! Sending your way!

 

[flump1]

I havent read through all the posts so sorry if i repeat anything!

I also was very sick with hyperemesis for the first 4 months and my OH deff resented the baby through this time. Even though my OH wasnt quite as bad as yours is being by the sound of it it still felt quite horrible and i started feeling quite protective over the baby as i felt it wasnt the babys fault that i was so sick just one of those things!

Sometimes it made me wonder if we'd done the right thing trying for a baby but soon the sickness eventually started to wear off and i managed to get back to my normal self and now a month or so after starting to recover my OH is now reacting much better to the pregnancy and is now very much looking forward to our son arriving! So hopefully it will get better for you... i did have to have quite a stern talk with OH though once i was feeling strong enough to explain to him that his behaviour had been totally unacceptable and had made me feel awful and that in a marriage sometimes you have to be the strong one for your other half even if you are finding it hard aswell.

wishing you luck and i really hope he comes around eventually x