seriously cant keep doing this to myself

[kittycrazy]

so this is cycle 8. im fed up of ttc. we really want another but are both fed up of fertility monitors and bbt and opks and pre seed and the whole thing. im now 4dpo and have decided im not temping any more this month. i had an alcoholic drink last night for the first time in 8 months and am seriosuly considering giving up trying and doing the not trying not preventing thing. but im paranoid about having a break due to my age. im 38 in a couple months. arhhhhhh.
anyon else have these feeling.

 

[taymalay]

I feel the exact same! We tried pre seed and conceive plus neither worked! And did all the ovulating test. Nothing has happened! Completely confused as to what's going on. :/

 

[kittycrazy]

thing is im even fed up of knowing so much about my body!! i dont want to notice every little thing about my cm or exactly when my period is due. my other kids were unplanned. this all has just got boring and frustrating. oh and then people keep saying oh well itll happen this month now youre letting it go. erm no the universe doesnt reward us with a pregnancy just cos we stopped taking our temp. im sorry youre feeling it too hun. its horrid isnt it.

 

[Wishing4long]

Tell me about it!! This is our 5 month, had a CP two cycles ago. I am so tried of this nonesense..I am on edge everyday calculating dates, I can't even book a flight to NY (my dad is being honored at work) because it will be around ovulation and I do not want to miss another month. I feel so trapped and I am so fed up!!!

 

[kittycrazy]

yeah ive had my life on hold too. didnt realise really until a few days ago. i really want to let go and as i said ive stopped temping this month and will just wait for af. but i just know im gonna feel the need to start the whole circus again when i do. i think im gonna try and work hard to have at least one cycle off. or i may end up too mad to even be in charge of my kids now let alone another.

 

[Wishing4long]

Same here, everything is on hold...however I do drink the first couple of days after O. I do not want to give up anything, but I am so sick and tired...BD has become so routine just wanting to get it done. I didn't think it would be this hard. I sit there thinking at night I hope this time it worked, maybe I should have done every other day, every 2 days, etc. Always finding flaws in what I do.. its hard. And I TOTALLY understand the age thing, I have the same issue too.

 

[kittycrazy]

i actually get mad at myself for not appreciating how easy the others were to get pregnant with. if i knew then what i know now......

 

[Wishing4long]

Tell me about it!!! Well I am right here with you this cycle, I am 6DPO. So let's keep our fingers crossed. I am so tired... I am almost 34 and I would like three kids but the way it looks now, I will be lucky with another one

 

[taymalay]

That's exactly why this month we didn't use anything. I'm even on Metformin have been for a year but not for PCOS. My doctor is surprised nothing has happened yet! I show all the signs of ovulating. For the past 6 months we've been trying. BD around the time we should. Felt like it was becoming a chore. This month I decided to not do any of that. We didn't BD as much either. Is it sad sometimes I get jealous? I'm 25 and don't have any kids at all. I know it could be worse but still :/

 

[Scottish mum]

I sometimes think the more presure you put on yourself the more stress you cause and it tends to not happen I had a few girlfriends tell me they just decided to see what happened and fell pregnant! I did this with my first and I'll probably do it again but it's hard as I feel as soon as We decided to have another I just couldn't resist looking online about ovulation and when to try!! All ready stressing out as I have to wait two weeks almost to test eek it never ends!! X

 

[Wishing4long]

Tell me about it... Its torture and now I feel like it is so far away adn it is never going to happen again.

 

[taymalay]

I feel you on that. I don't know if it's me or him. I don't think it helps that I wash myself out right away after BD. But if I don't I'll get a UTI.

 

[hardd2011]

It took us 13 months to conceive my son don't give up. I get that attitude that it will take that long again. i hope not. good luck girls. today i am 5dpo

 

[Smille24]

I feel the same. We tried ntnp from Sept 2013-Jan 2015 and are now on cycle 7 of vigorously ttc. Halfway through this cycle I said f*** it and stopped using opks and temping. I just needed a break. We dtd as much as possible without making it a chore but we are so fed up with timing sex. We both really want a child together, but it's getting out of control. Every cycle is a failure and every time I get so depressed when af arrives. I can't be around babies, see a pregnant woman or go through the baby section without tearing up. I'm praying giving up is just what we need.

 

[taymalay]

Smille24 I feel the exact same. Of course we haven't been trying as long as you have. But that's why this month I just completely gave up the ovulation test and everything. I did post about spotting on another thread for some advice. I never spot near ovulation or af. It happened this past week. I don't have any kids at all so it's killing me inside. Its like when we were young we tried so hard not to get pregnant and now that we have gotten older we're having a hard time. I just pray a miracle happens. :/

 

[Smille24]

I know! I wish I would've known how hard it is to ttc, then I would've started years ago lol. Maybe it's implantation bleeding? . I hope it happens soon for us. The torture is getting old.

 

[taymalay]

Exactly!! BTW I love your picture. It definitely tickled me last night. I feel like I'm setting myself up each month thinking oh maybe I'm pregnant with these symptoms than BAM af comes along! I just hate it!! :/ but people have been telling me just stop trying and it'll happen.

 

[Smille24]

Haha, I'm glad you like it. That's what people tell me too and I want to punch them lol, but maybe they're right I should stop trying. I've had several cycles that looked promising, but nope af shows up and crushes me. If it doesn't happen soon we'll start running tests and see what our options are.