Seriously considering adoption, all thoughts welcome!

[Emmy0320]

Let me start by saying that I've always wanted to adopt. From the beginning (a bit shallow I will admit, but for a child take if for what it's worth) I insisted upon having dolls and barbies of a different ethnicity... why? because they were adopted! I fell in love with the idea as a child after learning that a friend of mine was adopted from Korea, go figure, I never put it together that she looked nothing like her parents, haha.

Now to bring us to reality. During a pelvic exam at 19 (I'm now 27) I was told my uterus was tipped forward, no biggie, my doc said "you should still be able to have a baby one day." I took that a sign. My husband even spoke about beginning the adoption process during our honeymoon this past December.

Two weeks later we found out I was pregnant and were ecstatic, surprised, but thrilled. I thought I would have a difficult time getting pregnant after all. Fast forward to Feb. when I had a miscarriage and we were devastated. Decided to try as soon as possible and got my next bfp in May... super excited as lightening doesn't strike twice right? Well it did. I had my second miscarriage in June. It seems to be a staying pregnant issue, not a getting pregnant issue.

We're hoping and waiting for some testing to see what's going on and are going to give it one more try and then seriously peruse adoption. I just feel that's what's right for us, after all, not too many people are open too it from such a young age right? I'm scared beyond belief though, esp. by the costs involved. I'm a teacher so I know firsthand that the child doesn't have to be biologically "yours" to love him/her unconditionally.

Just hoping we can welcome a baby into our lives one way or another within the next few years. Any experience and/or thoughts are welcome.

We're thinking we may have to go the local adoption (through job and family services, we are in the US) route because of finances.

Thank you for reading... I know it was a long post and best of luck to everyone in a similar boat!

 

[Loski83]

Good luck with whatever route you go. You never know they might find a way to keep you pregnant yet, have another go then you can decide with a clear head. Don't know how it work in America with adoption and finances do can't offer any help there.

 

[amjon]

DH and I have also lost two babies. My daughter was 27 weeks when she unexpectedly died. We then got pregnant 3 months later and I've just miscarried that baby. We're trying again (I've just gotten AF without ovulating), but also looking into foster care adoptions.

 

[Emmy0320]

Thanks for the replies ladies. Hope we all get our babies soon, however god decides to deliver them to us!

 

[beegray]

Ahhh!!Love it!!! Yes, also always wanted to adopt, whether I have my own or not! See, I'm adopted! always loved the idea! Dh and I are not too sure when we will want to start the process, maybe after having our own one first. We don't want any of our adopted kids think that they were last choice kinda thing! We will do it within our country (South Africa). Good luck, and honestly, if you want to adopt, I'd say go for it!

 

[Snizuitz]

Emmy,

I so understand how you are feeling! We've been having a tough time getting pregnant, but hubby and I talked about adoption from the first time we talked about having kids. He and I both have several cousins who were adopted and my sister has adopted two babies after having two biologically.

The idea of adoption still scares me even though I've seen so many wonderful, happy families created that way! My adopted niece and nephew are just as much my family as my biological nieces.

In my sister's case, she also did trans-racial adoptions both times which she worried would be extra hard. There are some unique challenges (people can be surprisingly hurtful), but she just knows her children all belong in her family.

Good luck! I agree that whatever you choose and whatever path your life takes, the children that come to your family will be just as loved.

 

[studentnurse5]

Adoption is a wonderful way to have a baby for you it seems! I was adopted, and from what my parents have said it can be quite the process depending on what organization you go through! Make sure you go through a reputable source! Good luck!

 

[justagirl5]

I'm a firm believer in adoption. There are literally thousands of unwanted and orphaned children in the world, and I could never bear the guilt of having a child of my own knowing that. My daughter is adopted, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm not incapable of having children of my own, as far as I know, but my husband and I never even considered it. Adoption is a wonderful, beautiful thing, and I think it's great that you are so open to the idea. The financial part is scary, but children are expensive no matter how they come into your life. Good luck and best wishes!

 

[ttcmoon]

We are also seriously thinking about adoption.
I had my first miscarriage 5yrs back.Then Hard time getting pregnant,now pregnant with another one which stopped growing.It is too hard to go through M/C's

I wanted to adopt a kid after having my own.But now I think my body needs a rest and I won't try for another kid myself if I miscarry this one.

My family is supportive and hubby is OK with the decision (not very happy as he wants a biological one first).But my take is to adopt one, become a Mum to a sweet small one, then try again. At least I would have a mental comfort that I already have my daughter with me.

But I am sceptical about few things..Is it better if the adopted child is smaller?I feel bad for older ones as the chances of getting adopted lessens for them.So if I adopt one and when she comes to know she was not our biological one.Would she leave us?I heard it is very hard to deal with adopted kids.Is it true?

 

[green turtle]

Emmy,

I can relate!

My husband and I were interested in adoption, but we decided to have our own first.

Long story short - I have PCOS and we have had 2 miscarriages. We are going to try one more time and then pursue adoption.

I have already started gathering information and have contacted 2 agencies and I am going to an info session at the end of the month.

It seems a little crazy to get started so early, but I don't want to waste time. If the next pregnancy doesn't work out I will go for further medical testing, but will most likely submit my application for adoption.

I am 26 and people always say "Oh, you are so young. You have lots of time." The reality is that it can takes years for an adoption (it took my friend 3) and I wanted to be a mom 2 years ago.

I don't care what people say, they can't understand unless they have walked in our shoes and as someone who seems to have walked in similar shoes I understand and believe that if it feels right you should pursue it.

I too work in the school system and know that I could definitely love a child that isn't biologically related.

As for the financial cost, don't let it stop you. The cost will likely be spread out over a couple (if not several) years and it's worth it. Don't let it scare you, talk to your adoption agency about it and see what options are available to you.

Feel free to PM me, I would love to hear how things work out for you.