Sex ban?

[Drazic<3]

Heyyy girls,

After having so much to conceive I wanted my OH to stay away from me for ages, we have now slapped down a mutual sex ban. I had a bleed on Tuesday, and with fingers very much crossed it does seem to be due to sex, so we have decided to leave each other alone (!) until at the earliest, second tri.

I wondered if anyone else is putting on a sex ban to try and keep their minds at ease? Or if anyone had been advised to?

Just a cruel twist of fate all these hormones have me wanting it again hey?!

With love and sticky dust,

 

[fluffyblue]

Hey hun, i had been advised in all of my losses to abstain from sex for first 3 months if a bleed occurs think its part of the treatment progreamme !

Bad innit lol !

 

[KA92]

lol its the forbidden fruit! wanting what you now cant have! lol

me and oh are taking it slowly after his behaviour...so hes getting none either

also last time i bled a little bit(which i now know was becasue of cervix being soft) so as i want it to be third time lucky no even if we were fine!

 

[vickie83]

After a previous MC and spotting during this pregnancy it seemed like every health professional I came into contact with advised me to abstain til 2nd tri. My GP helpfully told me i could do "everything but intercourse" lol

 

[Widger]

I was told by my consultant to avoid sex for 1st trimester because although there is no real evidence to suggest that it could cause mc, they just advise you anyway to be on the safe side. I would leave it now till 12 wk scan/2nd trimester as you've had bleeding xxx

 

[lauralora]

ive been told no sex untill after 20 week scan due to spotting after sex, tbh after my scare i dont think ill be having sex till the babys born!!

 

[Drazic<3]

Thanks girls. I am like you Laura, it has scared me into not wanting it and it freaked OH so much he wouldn't touch me even though he wants to!

Just another reason to make first tri bloody drag!

 

[JadeyB]

Hi there,

I was advised not to have sex during my first pregnancy and this one. I think thats only because I've got a high risk of infection. I don't have very much cervix to stop any bugs getting up.

I'm also not allowed to have a bath or swim. Which was not great timing as we found out we were pregnant the day before our dream holiday to Hawaii. As I was in the first trimester, I didn't want to overheat either so spent most of my day in the shade, not to mention obviously no cocktails!!

I had a huge bleed during sex at the beginning of this pregnacy (I didn't know I was pregnant at the time). I thought it was the start of AF!

xx

 

[ellahstruts]

yes we are on a sex ban for the entire 9 months, its hard sometimes, but it depends how important sex is compared to the risk of prem labour or infection xx

 

[stephwiggy]

When i was pregnant with kieran we were told by a friend no sex for first three months anyway and being first timers we agreed, but i had a threatened MC at 13 weeks 6 days and so the ban stayed till 4 months after kieran was born lol

 

[Las78]

Hun, I put the ban on and only lifted it at 15 weeks - I didn't miss it a bit but OH was tearing his hair ouyt although he was great and totally understanding bless him!

 

[Drazic<3]

Thanks girls. Oh, I don't mind not doing it, I would walk over burning coals for this babe to be okay, it's just pretty weird after spending ttc doing it every possible second!

I am alright with it, I think he will be going mental though. He says he doesn't mind, but the rapidly increasing boobies are just a cruel trick

 

[lauraperrysan]

me and oh are the same, we both want to stop until wayyyy into 20 weeks. It's just not worth it.....luckily we have an understanding lol xxxx

 

[cazza22]

Me too we have both agreed a sex ban gutted!!! Worth it in the end tho girls x x x x

 

[Jody R]

When I was pregnant with Joseph I met someone at the hospital who saw my Sands Alert stickers which I had stuck all over my notes. The stickers are supposed to alert medical professionals that the woman has had at least one stillbirth or neonatal death and remind them to check her notes before asking insensitive questions.

Anyway this woman saw them and she knew what they were. She told me about her loss in her second trimester and said that she blames herself. She'd had some bleeding previously but had continued having sex and this had eventually damaged her plug and put pressure on her cervix.

Now they did tell her that she probably had a short or weak cervix anyway and would more than likely have lost her baby or gone into premature labour because of it but she felt that the sex had brought things forward to a point in the pregnancy before viability at 24 weeks and she felt to blame because of that.

I'd already put a total ban on sex but that just backed up my resolve to stick to it until I had the cervical stitch put in at about 14 weeks. My consultant also recommended not having sex to avoid pressure on both me and then the stitch.

After talking to the woman at the hospital and having two second trimester losses myself I really would recommend to everyone that if they have had a bleed they don't have sex even in their second trimester just to be on the safe side. I know it feels like a long time but it's not really and it's worth it in the end.

 

[Drazic<3]

Thank you for your kind and helpful message Jody. My heart goes out to you for your losses.

Can I ask one personal question? Did you abstain from everything sexually, or just intercourse? I will 100% understand if that is too personal for everyone.

 

[lauralora]

so far i havnt done anything sexually, apart from doing things for my boyfriend (if you follow me lol) but ive been thinking maybe oral sex is different as nothing is actually going up , haha wow how embarrasing talking about this. but ive been wondering the same thing so would be good to here from others. x

 

[ellahstruts]

this is my question too really, we have not had sex at all, but........... he has pleasured me by stimulating me and some nipple stimulation too, now i do orgasm, i am so worried that this will make me go into labour afterwards....but every so often 2 or 3 weeks it gets so much that we just have to do something, the consultant did not say anthing bout abstaining from this, but i wonder if she thought by saying no sex we wouldnt do anything.....i am so close to viability, and i dont want to risk anything but i dont know that its unsafe....do u know what i mean.......what about you girls??xx

 

[lauralora]

this is my question too really, we have not had sex at all, but........... he has pleasured me by stimulating me and some nipple stimulation too, now i do orgasm, i am so worried that this will make me go into labour afterwards....but every so often 2 or 3 weeks it gets so much that we just have to do something, the consultant did not say anthing bout abstaining from this, but i wonder if she thought by saying no sex we wouldnt do anything.....i am so close to viability, and i dont want to risk anything but i dont know that its unsafe....do u know what i mean.......what about you girls??xx

are you going to have sex after 24 weeks hun? im not sure wether to or not

 

[ellahstruts]

no not at all because i have a stitch in and the risk of infection is too great which can carry up into the waters etc, i cant have any for the whole 9 months, thats why we do little bits, but i really worry the orgasm will make my uterus contract, although i h ave always orgasmed in previous pregnancies of my first 4 and this has never caused me to labour prem, even at full term it never started things off xx