Sex rant and "feeling un-needed"

[hopefulfor1st]

So we've not done it too much through pregnancy. Maybe once every week and a half?? Anyway I've had horrific thrush I can't shift :/ it's so bad and gets worse after sex and he gets it too whenever we have sex. He says his doodle goes red like an apple and wants to explode lol. So today is his birthday and I've been at work, over tea I suggest shower then sex. Well he's already jacked off 3x today apparently, said sex is uncomfortable with my belly and the thrush is too painful afterwards, and I don't want sex as often as him anyway he says so he doesn't understand at all why I'm upset. He says I don't like sex like he does so it shouldn't bother me that we should just wait til after baby is here and I'm healed.
I miss the closeness he doesn't get it just a rant really, don't know what I hoped to achieve by posting this.

 

[sweetcheeks78]

Oh hon it's tricky I know. I've struggled with thrush too and now bump is making thing uncomfortable. Before pg we would DTD probably every other day. Now it's once a week at most. I know my DH 'sees to himself' when he feels like it and I don't blame him. I do the same - I don't necessarily want sex but I still love the climax, lol! It's nothing at all to do with not wanting each other or being needed, but I did feel like that too for a little while so I totally get where you are coming from. He is actually being considerate in not pestering you, and just sorting himself out! Tell him how you are feeling, and make time to just be close without any expectation of sex. Sorry if it's TMI, but I quite like helping him see to himself - I don't feel the need to have sex or even get anything in return, but I still get the satisfaction of turning him on Hugs x

 

[hopefulfor1st]

I know. I guess today I just thought surely he'd want some for his birthday!

 

[CastawayBride]

He is reinfecting you when you DTD, if you give him thrush he will have it and give it back to you, endless cycle. Have him call in for meds, you get treated and it will be gone, for good. When you think you may have it abstain from being intimate as to not give it back and forth....

 

[MaisyMay]

First off, pp is correct, he has to get treated cos you're just getting it again each time you dtd. I've had thrush this whole pregnancy, it's miserable! I've been using pessaries every 10 or so days and I'd be free from it from it for about a week before the next pessary. What I've found to finally keep it away is using the external cream everyday, since doing this I haven't needed a pessary in three weeks! Record. Saying that I avoid dtd cos even though dh has been treated just in case (he's never shown symptoms) the rubbing tends to bring thrush on for me and so close to birth I'd just rather avoid it. Sorry the situation with dh is upsetting you, I'm sure he's just thinking of you and probably wants to avoid getting it again himself.

 

[Nikko88]

Maybe find some other activities that you both enjoy (hugs, cuddling, massage, showers etc.). There are many ways of being physical intimate other than having sex. Masturbating fulfills different needs than sex. Try not to thing of it as a replacement for sex. Could be just a need for release as a destresser or to lower hormone levels etc.

Early this pregnancy we had to abstain for 6 weeks due to bleeding. After delivery, I'm sure I won't want to get frisky for a few weeks to heal. I wouldn't be offended if my husband masturbated as long as we were physically intimate in other ways.

Especially if sex is not very comfortable and is keeping you both infected with thrush. Intimacy has many forms of expression.

 

[hopefulfor1st]

Even when we've gone weeks without it I've still had it though so I don't think he's reinfecting me what can I give him though? The tablet?
I had fertility drugs in November which started it then a miscarriage December which bought it back. The tablet got rid of it but the second I ovulated and conceived this one In feb it returned and hasn't left since. On triple dose of daily probiotics and tried the creams. First tri I discovered I had an SCH so between 9 and 18 weeks only dtd 3x and it still stuck around.

 

[CastawayBride]

Even when we've gone weeks without it I've still had it though so I don't think he's reinfecting me what can I give him though? The tablet?
I had fertility drugs in November which started it then a miscarriage December which bought it back. The tablet got rid of it but the second I ovulated and conceived this one In feb it returned and hasn't left since. On triple dose of daily probiotics and tried the creams. First tri I discovered I had an SCH so between 9 and 18 weeks only dtd 3x and it still stuck around.

He needs to call his doctor, he can weeks, months and it lays dormant inside him and yes it is not a pleasant feeling for a man. It sounds like he has a severe case of it. He needs antibiotics. This is getting passed back and forth, I am surprised your Dr. didn't tell you that it is not rocket science!

 

[pinkribbon]

I feel your pain with the thrush, I keep getting it and it's always bad and (tmi warning) I get really swollen and red. I would get a treatment before DTD and get your hubby to do the same, that way you're both comfortable again.

I currently have thrush (again tmi sorry!) so won't be able to DTD at the moment but thankfully our sex life is still good.

It sounds like it's just the thrush bothering your man from what you've wrote, maybe he's just dreading the discomfort?

 

[sg0720]

So we've not done it too much through pregnancy. Maybe once every week and a half?? Anyway I've had horrific thrush I can't shift :/ it's so bad and gets worse after sex and he gets it too whenever we have sex. He says his doodle goes red like an apple and wants to explode lol. So today is his birthday and I've been at work, over tea I suggest shower then sex. Well he's already jacked off 3x today apparently, said sex is uncomfortable with my belly and the thrush is too painful afterwards, and I don't want sex as often as him anyway he says so he doesn't understand at all why I'm upset. He says I don't like sex like he does so it shouldn't bother me that we should just wait til after baby is here and I'm healed.
I miss the closeness he doesn't get it just a rant really, don't know what I hoped to achieve by posting this.

Have u mayb tried doing it in the shower w u bending over so that ur belly isn't in the way and mayb your thrush won't be so affective and it might feel better... Sorry if that TMI but being pregnant u have to get creative cuz these bellys do get in the way or one position hurts over another

 

[Nikko88]

I'll second the shower/bent over position. It works for us. Just don't stand up straight too quickly.

 

[sg0720]

I'll second the shower/bent over position. It works for us. Just don't stand up straight too quickly.

Us too!! And yes that is so true get up slow!

 

[MaisyMay]

Definitely get the pessary as well as the cream for yourself. The cream is only acting on the outer infection, the pessary kills it from the inside out, far more effective and your dh needs the tablet, he has it and will give it back to you regardless of whether you've cleared it yourself in between the times you've had sex.

 

[hopefulfor1st]

I'll second the shower/bent over position. It works for us. Just don't stand up straight too quickly.

Us too!! And yes that is so true get up slow!

I'm a fair bit shorter than him and the bits don't line up lol