Shagging Question

[Tilly]

Some people like to know when they are ovulating if the 'go with flow' hasn't worked. One thing I learnt is no your romance shouldn't go and sex isn't just for when your ovulating but when your trying for a baby/family and have had losses or have been trying for months even years (as some of the girls) pin pointing ovulation pin pointing when is best to conceive helps ... never mind going deep into this can also pin point problems for some (even for those who have children already)!!

Its not a text book its planning conception where sadly just a drunken one nighter isn't all it took!

Thats what I was getting at, the romance shouldn't go.. I don't think it should become just having sex on these few days that are meant to be when you're most fertile. In fact I was watching a report on television the other day that suggested that SOME women (no one take it personally, I don't mean you) are concentrating soo much on when they're 'meant' to be fertile, that they actually get it wrong and thats why they're having problems. Obviously, this is not all cases and I understand some people have fertility problems.

Of course I understand these ladies have been TTC for a long time, but I wasn't being harsh and what I don't like is comments like that - saying some women here have been trying for ages, when no one here knows a thing about me to say that.

 

[Mango]

We didn't "try" any way, we just banged a lot in different ways and it happened.

That's pretty much what happened with me as well. But then again if I look at it, my OH and I have been "shagging" (gotta luv that word) for over 5 years so I don't think it is something that "just happened". I think it was bound to happen at some point.

No shagging advice for you ladies but I found a few links at iVillage that may be of interest for you!! Have a look --> https://parenting.ivillage.com/ttc/topics/0,,4rwd,00.html

 

[Sinead]

We do go with flow to a certain extent, but I don't think we do it enough. Y'know the stress of work, tired, etc which means trying to plan things a bit more means more "shagging".

Sinead

 

[Wobbles]

Why do you not like comments like that (although confused in general)? I have to say Im confused to why you use the words 'comments' anyway like it was AT you in a bad manner (?) when realistically as your say I do not know anything about you BUT I hadn't suggested I did (?) what I AM able to do (and did) is answer what I know as my experience and thoughts to the topic in general that had been brought up regardless if it had of been you or another.

Fact is my reply stating that some women had been trying for a long time (ages) is true so I fail to understand why you appear to have taken that personally esspecially again as I was sorta talking of my own personal experience tbh which was the trying for ages & losses with it & I did use information about best fertility times to help us try & conceive.

 

[Jo]

Of course I understand these ladies have been TTC for a long time, but I wasn't being harsh and what I don't like is comments like that - saying some women here have been trying for ages, when no one here knows a thing about me to say that.
__________________

Sorry Tilly but to be fair you don't know anything about the ladies on here that have been trying for months/years and have experianced losses to comment on how and when they should be TTC.

 

[Tezzy]

i agree with jo, tilly you know nothing about us and you should not dictate to other people the right and wrong ways to TTC. We all TTC in different ways, how we feel comfortable and when we feel it is right.

 

[Tilly]

Ok, a few replies to get through here but let me start by saying that my "but I wasn't being harsh and what I don't like is comments like that - saying some women here have been trying for ages, when no one here knows a thing about me to say that." - I didn't mean you girls can't speak about ttc at all! (some of you could have misunderstood as I didn't word it well), but when I have people quoting me saying some people have tried ages, it was as if im not allowed an opinion almost because im not in the special TTC club..? I didn't wait 1-2+ years to get pregnant, but I also didnt get pregnant after a "drunken one nighter" - btw Wobbles, I know that wasn't directed at me, since you'd have no reason to be funny with me like that but it was again a bit of an odd thing to say to the few that are lucky to fall pregnant quickly. I know/have known women that can't have children or have struggled for years (including my own mum) so I would no way make nasty comments to anyone that is unable (or struggling to) have children.

@Jo - I wasn't telling anyone how they SHOULD TTC, it really doesn't bother me if they like to hang from the curtain pole with their partners hanging from them whilst they eat ice cream, it's not affecting me. I was asking a question, saying what I had heard on television to give the girls here something to think about and also giving my own opinion of how I found the best way to conceive as that was the original point of this thread. It is a public forum and you may sometimes read things you don't like, but I didn't go out of my way to offend.

Also just wanted to add that I can understand to a certain extent even though I didn't try for years to get pregnant, I can understand the hurt you feel each month when your period comes and you're hoping for that little baby so badly, but it was my own decision not to look too deeply into it and think too much about when I could get pregnant. I decided to "go with the flow" that was my "method".

 

[Jo]

Ok yeah it is a public forum fair enough, you didn't offend me in the slightest, you annoyed me by maybe not thinking about what you wrote, and knowing the history behind peoples TTC.

Its not that you can't have an opinion because you are not in "the special TTC club". I have an opinion and i am in no way TTC but i would hope that i would word things in such a way to people that are TTC that i didn't sound condesending and make it sound like thay don't know what they are doing ( i am sure you didn't mean it like that either).

At the end of the day everyone has differant ways of conceiving especially after trying for a very long time, the same as everyone has differant ways of parenting, looking after animals and cooking say

I don't think your comments were nasty per se just not very well thought out and maybe found to be hurtful

 

[Tilly]

Ok yeah it is a public forum fair enough, you didn't offend me in the slightest, you annoyed me by maybe not thinking about what you wrote, and knowing the history behind peoples TTC.

Its not that you can't have an opinion because you are not in "the special TTC club". I have an opinion and i am in no way TTC but i would hope that i would word things in such a way to people that are TTC that i didn't sound condesending and make it sound like thay don't know what they are doing ( i am sure you didn't mean it like that either).

At the end of the day everyone has differant ways of conceiving especially after trying for a very long time, the same as everyone has differant ways of parenting, looking after animals and cooking say

I don't think your comments were nasty per se just not very well thought out and maybe found to be hurtful

Like I said, I wouldn't need to know the history behind peoples TTC.. I know that wouldn't be my place to comment unless I was asked to, as I wouldn't expect anyone to tell me how to TTC or anything else for that matter. I made one comment that I thought might be taken the wrong way "Do you guys not kind of go with the flow? let romance take you..? lol, it seems like something out of a text book, all these plans.." as I was so confused with the first post:

CD9 PM
CD10 AM & PM
CD11 Break
CD12 AM & PM (Hopefully O day)
Today BREAK

I thought it was obvious I was messing around, hence the "lol".. looking back, I guess it could be considered silly to mess around in that way in this type of thread, but I believe Suz made it in quite a light hearted manner which is why I wrote it like that.

Anyway, I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart if I have upset anyone..

 

[Jo]

It can be just a very touchy subject hun thats all

 

[Suz]

This is a hard tread for me to make a post to. I have carefully thought out my words but feel that I need to comment.
First of all Tilly, In no way are we a "special TTC club". Secondly, I really hope that you are not implying that anyone here on this forum got pregnant because they had a Drunken One Nighter. Third, I did make my post a bit light hearted because after a year of trying, that is about all I can do. Its not easy trying to make a family and not having that happen. I think your comments are rude. You are not High and Mighty so don’t act that way and let us TTC in any way we seem fit without your conceded comments.

 

[Tilly]

This is a hard tread for me to make a post to. I have carefully thought out my words but feel that I need to comment.
First of all Tilly, In no way are we a "special TTC club". Secondly, I really hope that you are not implying that anyone here on this forum got pregnant because they had a Drunken One Nighter. Third, I did make my post a bit light hearted because after a year of trying, that is about all I can do. Its not easy trying to make a family and not having that happen. I think your comments are rude. You are not High and Mighty so don’t act that way and let us TTC in any way we seem fit without your conceded comments.

I didn't say about a drunken one nighter, they were Wobbles words why the attack?

 

[Suz]

I appologise if I mis read about the drunken one nighter but that is outside the point. I am not "Attacking" you. But your coments are hurtful and conceded.

 

[Tilly]

I appologise if I mis read about the drunken one nighter but that is outside the point. I am not "Attacking" you. But your coments are hurtful and conceded.

What offended you so badly?

By the way, I don't think im high and mighty so I don't know why you're saying that? also like I already said, it's none of my business how people TTC as I don't know any of your business apart from whats posted here. I wasn't TELLING anyone how to have sex was I? :S

 

[Suz]

Do you guys not kind of go with the flow? let romance take you..? lol, it seems like something out of a text book, all these plans..

Of course I understand these ladies have been TTC for a long time, but I wasn't being harsh and what I don't like is comments like that - saying some women here have been trying for ages, when no one here knows a thing about me to say that.

"it was as if im not allowed an opinion almost because im not in the special TTC club..? "
@Jo - I wasn't telling anyone how they SHOULD TTC, it really doesn't bother me if they like to hang from the curtain pole with their partners hanging from them whilst they eat ice cream, it's not affecting me

Tilly, its these comments that I find Rude and Come off as if you think you making a joke out of ttc. Im sorry, but TTC is not a joke. I don’t appreciate being casted as a God Dam monkey swinging from a pole eating ice cream like some circus freak hoping to get pregnant. It may not be affecting you , but it is me.

 

[Wobbles]

Ok, a few replies to get through here but let me start by saying that my "but I wasn't being harsh and what I don't like is comments like that - saying some women here have been trying for ages, when no one here knows a thing about me to say that." - I didn't mean you girls can't speak about ttc at all! (some of you could have misunderstood as I didn't word it well), but when I have people quoting me saying some people have tried ages, it was as if im not allowed an opinion almost because im not in the special TTC club..? I didn't wait 1-2+ years to get pregnant, but I also didnt get pregnant after a "drunken one nighter" - btw Wobbles, I know that wasn't directed at me, since you'd have no reason to be funny with me like that but it was again a bit of an odd thing to say to the few that are lucky to fall pregnant quickly. I know/have known women that can't have children or have struggled for years (including my own mum) so I would no way make nasty comments to anyone that is unable (or struggling to) have children.

Just a quick one -

I was refrring to some of the girls currently TTC not on a whole. A few of them (at least 4) I was TTC'ing with for around a year+ (met on another forum).

The drunken comment not at all ai med at 'anyone' here or elsewhere its just discussions before even amoung my journey how we were always made to believe a mistake would lead to a baby in your arms tie you down blah (as a kid school etc) when really its not that simple & having been in those shoes of how unsimple it is and its a head wrecker how it can be for some when you are in that awful situation personally (its never personal to others or towards) - we're told in school how easy it can be never how hard ... I've just woken up so I dunno if that makes sense It was a general comment again in no way to offend you or anyone else.

PS: I didn't quote you - like I said in last topic my reply was based on the discussion thats all, could have been anyone who posted as you did

 

[Wobbles]

I really hope that you are not implying that anyone here on this forum got pregnant because they had a Drunken One Nighter.

That was me *hides* Not in that context though lol - Like in the way we have discussed before ... *read above*!

I'll run now shall I?

 

[Tam]

Tilly, I understood what you meant


Suz, we did it every day and we hit the jackpot with Alfie.........so all is not lost babehttps://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n86/no1tam/th7ebabydust7e.gifhttps://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n86/no1tam/th7ebabydust7e.gifhttps://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n86/no1tam/th7ebabydust7e.gif

 

[hypnorm]

we're told in school how easy it can be never how hard ...

How true that comment is! We are all told how quickly and easily it is to get preg, and have spent too much time worrying about possibly being preg, that actually whe it came down to wanting a baby it wasnt that easy, Ok i got preg first time in about 6 months but this second time round it is 14m and counting...

I think once a year goes by the romance is still there but in a different way, not 'clinical' as you put it .. we try in any way we can and try not to worry

 

[Trinity]

I think the problem is that I want it so badly that I dont seem to be able to get away from the fact that it gets clinical. It doesnt seem to happen either way so .. not sure now. Obviously its still enjoyable but its the laying down after and not going to the bathroom .. blah blah blah.