She is gone..............

[dnlfinker]

I am a bit upset right now. I checked my old email account and I got this
email, it says right in my face

YOUR PREGNANCY 34 week

That just smacked me in my face right now. I recalled when I was 34 weeks
pregnant with my oldest daughter . I remember being overwhelmed with excitement and joy.
and now , I am suppose to be pregnant , what do I get a big fat zero

I really shouldn't have opened it , but I kind of forgot that its there

I guess its hard for me because her due date is coming around the holiday time
and I was hoping to be a mother of two children. My daughter who is going to be 2 on Jan 1st, suppose to get her pre birthday surprise but I have cheated her . Going back to the day of my D and E , I remember that she came up to me and kept saying : Mama Mama Mama, liked she understood what was going on . Perhaps she even knew that she was suppose to get her baby sister and that she was gone that day.

I did not bother to explain to her about what happened thinking that she was too young to understand, but in the near future I will def tell her about her little sister and try to encourage DD to express how she feels about her. I wish she can love her and remember her through out her life (especially when its our time and we go up to heaven to see my little angel). What are the changes that she will not accept the fact that she was here and was taken away

I am sorry for all the mumbling, I got caught in the moment. Thank you for listening as always

 

[KamIAm]

Oh Nat, I'm so terribly sorry Hon'

Those nasty emails are horrific... really! I used to get them as well and it seriously felt as if someone kicked me in the gutt! Now, I am just overwhelmed with those stupid diapers or baby formula coupons or samples that come in the mail periodically...

I agree... I know when we're pregnant we're excited but when and if something wrong happens... wish there was a way we can cancel all that stuff...

Hope and praying for a more gentlier day for you Hon' ...

Just know, we are in this together .... Never alone...

 

[collie_crazy]

Oh Natalie I'm sorry I still get the occasional email too and each one breaks my heart. I have tried to unsubscribe so many times and they just dont - they are now saying like 'Baby's coming soon' and 'countdown to delivery' I could just die when I see them

I also got a bottle in the post the other day... it must have been a free sample thing but I burst into tears when it came

 

[Andypanda6570]

My heart breaks for you my sweet friend. I am so sorry things have to be like this, it kills me inside
When your daughter is older the best thing you can do is try to explain things to her. Natalie, you are a survivor and a strong woman, you may not know that now, but you are,. Things will get easier and all this unanswered questions one day will be answered. I am here for you day or night just call me.
All My Love, Andrea XOXOXO

 

[dnlfinker]

NOw I just came back from work and I get a box of Simulac from an unknow sender. UNREAL?

You got to be kidding me !

 

[Andypanda6570]

NOw I just came back from work and I get a box of Simulac from an unknow sender. UNREAL?

You got to be kidding me !

Me toooooooo, I got first an Enfamil can and then Enfamil little trials..

 

[Hellylou]

These email reminders must be awful. I haven't had them, as I didn't sign up to anything but I have other reminders all the time, usually just from other pregnant women who are due when I would have been, or someone who had a healthy baby right when I was losing mine. It is brutally unfair.

We're here for you

 

[mhazzab]

urgh, I am still getting these reminders, except now it's magazines through the door for parenting 0-3 month olds why is it so difficult to stop these things???

If it is of any comfort, I found it became a little bit easier to deal with once my due date passed. There was no more counting how many weeks pregnant I should be. The weeks leading up to the due date became worse and worse, and then, after the day passed, I felt some relief. For some reason, I don't often count how old my girls should be now, in the same way that I was counting the weeks of pregnancy.

I hope the coming weeks are gentle on you, but don't be surprised if it gets worse again before it gets better. It did for me anyway, but, it did get better.

we are always here for you

xxxxxxxxxx

 

[ClaireRSA]

I had the same experience, it broke my heart. Be strong, it gets a little easier with time, but you will never forget, and never stop loving her.
xxx

 

[Vickieh1981]

Man those emails are a kick in the teeth aren't they?

I am sorry that you got one of them. They just plunge you straight back there xxx

 

[SabrinaKat]

I was part of another chat group when I had an mc, and found this lovely site when I found out I was nervously pregnant again -- but occasionally, get emails from the other site, now, it doesn't bother me but in the weeks following the mc, would get my husband to go through my email for those messages and baby club stuff....haven't signed up for anything this time, and everything is going well!!!!

best wishes

 

[Nikki_d72]

I'm sorry hon xxx