She stole my baby name :-(

[sandyhen85]

Ok so not quite stolen, but I work with a lady that is just over 5 months pregnant and she's having a girl. She doesn't know that I'm pregnant yet, but I asked if she had thought of names and she said she loves Ellie as a nickname so she will go with Elissa for the full name, my heart almost stopped when she said this because ever since I was 12 years old I have wanted to call my first daughter Alyssa and Aly for short, because Ali is also my nickname. They practically sound like the same name and I swear I am having a girl and feel like I wont be able to use my chosen name now...OH has said he doesn't care we will use it anyway, but people will think we've copied her...14 years I've had the name picked out..am I being over emotional do you think?

 

[ltrip84]

Maybe once you come out at work with being pregnant, you can tell her your situation. I'm sure she will understand that you aren't copying her. It's not like it's the exact same. Just similar.

 

[Mrs_T]

I don't think they're that similar tbh. I'd use it, it's only someone you work with.

 

[sandyhen85]

The way she pronounces it is exactly the same as I pronounce mine...she still needs to get her OH to agree so I'm secretly hoping he says no...or if I find out I'm having a girl then maybe I'll just announce the name all over FB and hope that she then feels like she can't use hers...but that would be very catty of me. I did tell her my name after she told me, but to her I'm just someone that isn't pregnant, maybe when she knows she might say something different. I guess I will have to wait, it was just a shock for me...I even have the middle name picked out as well...I hope I still get to use it

 

[ac2010]

Use it! Don't feel bad Alyssa is a great name! My cousins kid is called Alyssa

 

[sun]

Why couldn't you use the name? Are you close friends and she would be angry? Couldn't you just talk to her about it? They aren't even the same name anyway.

 

[Starry Night]

I think since she is a coworker you can just use the name anyways. If she makes a stink just say you've been wanting to use it for years. It would be a much stickier situation if she was a close friend or family member. Honestly, I think it's no big deal for two coworkers to have kids with the same names. You like what you like.

When I was pregnant with my son, my dh and I had picked out a boy's name as soon as we found out we were expecting. So as soon as it was confirmed our baby was a boy we started calling the baby by that name. We only knew a few people with that name and they weren't really in our day to day lives so it didn't matter. But then we moved to a new area and there are quite a few people at our church with that name. We considered using a different name but then decided that we were already in love with that name, that was the name we were going to be using. The closest person with the same name is a good 12 years older so I don't think confusion will be a problem. One of the others goes with the french pronunciation so that's different and the other goes by a nickname version. It's not a big deal. People teased us a bit but we just said we had already settled on that name and couldn't change it.

 

[sandyhen85]

We sit together in a small office and I don't know many people where I live so she will be the one to help me socially once baby arrives, but...we will move back to the uk in 2 years so after that I know it won't matter, I think I will just make it clear how much I have always wanted the name and say there has never been any other name to consider and hope she understands...I think my high emotions are just making things seem worse than they are...I seem to be crying at everything haha thanks for helping me to see a little clearer ladies

 

[Medea1978]

Who cares? do you know how many people in teh world share the same name. if you like a name you like a name. I never worry about other people's decisions when making my own. I was talking to a gilr I work with and she has both of my names boy and girl at teh top of her list. I still love the names and didn't even blink when she said that she likes them too. Guess our kids will ahve the same name. oh well!

 

[jenniferannex]

I know the feeling! When I was pregnant with Lily a client at work whose daughter was pregnant aswell said she was thinking of calling her Lily. And even though I didn't know her I was like NOOO! I have no idea why but I hated that someone else was thinking of Lily.

Chances are she might change her mind anyway, and even if she doesn't, stick with the name you've always wanted

 

[redlemonade]

I understand why it feels a bit awkward but, really, nobody's name is totally unique (unless you're a celebrity and you're called Fifi Trixibelle or something!) Somebody, somewhere, will have the same name.

I think if you explain it to her, when you tell her you're pregnant, she may very well be fine. And if she's not, that doesn't have to stop you. I think Alyssa is a beautiful name and if you don't use it, you may very well regret it.

 

[sandyhen85]

Thanks ladies, I will explain it to her and OH said we should use it still...she's a lovely lady so I'm sure she won't mind, but its just one of those things that you don't know about, she could go mad...but I will take the risk because I love my name too much and she knows my nickname is Ali so will see that it makes sense and I'm not making it up...this is where I find out I'm having a boy I bet haha

 

[Annama]

I had names picked out when I was really young. Ciera was my favourite but then one of my cousins had a baby and named her Ciera so that name is out for me. I don't want to use a name that anyone else has, at least not anyone I know.... I would just choose a totally new name if it were me. But if you are really set on it, oh well, just tell her that you had that name chosen for years and maybe if you tell her before she has her baby she will be the one to change to a new name.

 

[Joesgirl]

Use it anyways! People come and go out of your life, and since she's not family or a close friend, I say do it! You may not even know her in a couple years so name your baby what you want. Congrats to you.

 

[CanadianFilly]

When I was pregnant with my son a couple in our circle of friends arrived with a 1 year old with the same unusual name we were thinking if using. It caused us to think about different names and ended up settling on something I now love. But 6 months after my son was born they decided they missed their family too much and moved back to where they had come from. We thought our boys would grow up together and attend the same preschool but you see it all changed quickly. I'm pregnant with number two now and if it's a boy I'll be considering that name. If you have a name you really love don't hesitate to use it, it's not like it will be a cousin with the same last name. It sounds like you won't even know her in two years anyways.

 

[JJKCB]

I sort of understand as neither name is popular unlike the people that moan about:

Ellie, Rose, Mia, Isabelle, Harry, Oliver, Jack etc... very common names that they claim not to know are common

my son has a 'common' name (hes called Cain Jake but goes by Jake) but I never met a Jake before he was born, now we know (or know of) 2 Jakes and a Jacob:
one Jake is 21
one Jake is 2
and Jacob is 4
so not as popular as it appears for a name rated 23rd, strangely Cain isnt even top 100 but we know of 6 so you never can predict these things

dont be put off... if the both go by nicknames Ellie and Ali aren't even that similar

good luck

 

[xjesx]

you are bound to meet a mom in your life who's child shares the same name as your child.

Its pretty much unavoidable.

Besides she is completely changing phonetics with pronouncing Ellie (L-ee) like Aly (Al-lee).

 

[liz1985]

Id use it. I girl at my work used noah before people knew I was pregnant with ds. Id always wanted it and was a bit gutted at first, but I decided we wernt close enough for it to matter. Our children wont socialise unless we do something with work and they wont go to same school or anything either. If it was a very close friend or family I wouldnt but co worker I would. Especially as you will be moving countries in 2 years.

 

[Mrs.B.]

Firstly. If your not friends, go for it anyway


Secondly, I would say she is spelling it wrong is she is pronouncing it like that. My daushter is Elyssa (Elle-issa), Ellie (L-E) if she is pronouncing it like you say she is then she needs the A spelling not the E!

 

[lindar79]

I wouldn't use it if she calls her baby it, which she might not. I absolutely love Eva for a girl but my niece is called Ava so I can't use it. I also wanted Jacob for a boy but its top 10 and I want something not so popular.