Should I do it?

[Aidan's Mummy]

Even though it must hurt he has every right to get a new partner

As do you.
xx

 

[Lydiarose]

Desi didnt you say a few days ago you had been to a boys house you liked?

Sorry im just abit confused?

 

[AnnabelsMummy]

desi i usually seem to disagree with you ALOT, but this time i understand what you're saying..

you feel it's NOT fair, and he's treated you so badly, and you cared for him and he's just been a total idiot (for lack of better words)!, you have a baby - you want him to just step up be a father and be a "normal" human being..

and after breaking up with people - especially when they hurt you, it's normal to think oh shall i key his car, or prank call his phone, write to everyone he knows about how horrible he is, put pictures up of him everywhere telling everyone what he's like, or even write to the local papers .........

.....but really there's a reason none of us do it, because actually deep down it doesn't really help anything, it makes things worse.. (it's so common to feel like this by the way, there's books written about it and all sorts, i just finished a book by chrissie manby called getting over mr right - there was no children involved but it was a giggle - and sounds like she was a bit in the position you might be in!)

people might be interested, they might not, but cummon girl give yourself and your baby some style - walk away from this idiot, have nothing to do with him, cut all ties with him - give yourself and your baby something to look forward to, instead of wasting time with him!! walk away with your head held high, knowing you're going to bring that beautiful baby up - and that in it's own right will get him back - knowing you have the most beautiful little bubba, and he's missing out - personally that should be enough karma..

we can all be a little immature when it comes to break ups, and we get all hormonal - especially when it's the father of your child, or someone you plan to marry - someone you place expectations on.. it's completely normal - just don't let it get out of control!! it's not fair on you and your baby - he's a waste of space.. GET HIM OUT OF YOUR LIFE and do it with dignity!

xxxxxx

 

[Ablaski17]

I don't understand why the media would be interested? Could you explain that? Just because they own a grocery store and want nothing to do with there granddaughter dosent mean the media will have any interest? Believe me there are alot of people out there who don't want anything to do with family members. You said he shouldn't be allowed to date anyone else well I agree with rainbows you sound extremely jelous of him and his new girl , I understand your jelous it's a natural thing and you don't want to see him with anyone else but think about it why would you want to be with someone who dosent want to be with you? Let him go on and do his own thing yes its easier said than done but you got to do it , down the line you will meet someone who cares for you and your baby and someone who makes you both happy , just make him pay child support. Time heals everything ...just give it some time and don't stress you have bettter things to worry about and waste time on.

 

[Desi's_lost]

pet, its a horrible situation... but that would get there backs up more, and they could easily twist it.
you need to bide your time... cut unessential contact until baby is here, like if you feel comfortable, text him or his mum or someone the dates and times of your scans, so they cant say you didnt involve them (save those messages), and send them a pic after, so they cant say you excluded them...
wait til baby is here, then you send them a message with a pic, date weight and all that. and if they still refuse to ignore you... you go to court. you have a back catalogue of refusal to meet the needs of the child. get a paternity test, and prove he is the daddy, and then you make sure they take care of their buisness...

it won't be eeasy,, but it is whats best for Asyria
xx

No I do not think he should be able to date who he wants. I would be told off for doing such, so he should have to adhere to the same thing. Now he just has another place to waste what little money he may have left. Oh and more fun, he plans on going to college in the fall, so I am not sure how child support is suppose to work if he has no income. Hopefully they will take it from his parents as he will still be dependent on him and claiming him on tax forms.

But yea, they changed his cell number, and screamed at my mom the last time I tried to contact him about the baby so they have made clear steps that they do not want to know about the baby, so why bother.

Why? You and him are no longer together?
To be honest you sound extremely jealous of him and his new girlfriend, rise above it and be the bigger person, else you will just seem very immature.

& at least he is going to college - He is doing something with his life rather than sitting and doing nothing, at least he is making an effort and will get a good job from going college, and will therefore be able to pay for his daughter.

Just step back and take a look what you are doing and how many people you would be hurting, including his new partner - Who has done NOTHING wrong & your own daughter.

xxx

Are you kidding? Yea, he's going to college SO HE CAN WORK IN THE STORE HE ALREADY WORKS IN...All indications say he doesnt give a shit about her, so i'd really really like to know how you got that he was going to get a good job to take care of her.

Actually his 'new partner' is doing something wrong to me and my daughter. now he just has something new to spend money on and waste more time not working. I would be working if they would give me my job back, even though i hate them. what kind of a skeevy whore gets involved with an immature, abusive (today) 18 year old who has a daughter on the way?! Now that is trailer trash.

 

[Desi's_lost]

Desi didnt you say a few days ago you had been to a boys house you liked?

Sorry im just abit confused?

Difference is I didn't walk out on him. If it was up to me we would be together for the sake of the baby.
And yes, I like Mikey, but I'm not involved with him.

 

[rainbows_x]

No, I am not kidding.
How do you know that if you haven't been able to contact him, I am giving him credit for going to college, like I said, at least he is getting qualifications.
& of course he doesn't if his parents' are really that bad, surely you can't take that out on him as it is not his fault?

How is she? That is not trailor trash at all. You are basically saying that anyone who gets involved with someone who has a baby on the way is trailor trash, which is wrong.
I know plenty of people who are in relationships with people expecting/already have children, NONE of which are "whores".

 

[Desi's_lost]

You explain this to me than, he has a facebook, I've sent him a few messages about the baby over the last few months. He TELLS them about the messages. If he cared about my baby like he promised me he did, I can go get the texts still, then you tell me why he ignores them and tells his parents. If he wanted to, he could get information. He does not want it. He deserves no credit for anything he has done.

And yes she is. Who goes 'Oh lets see, you decided to start a family with a girl, promised her the world, got her pregnant and then walked away. Clearly you are in a great place to start a new relationship.'
NO! That does not make sense.

 

[rainbows_x]

His parents obviously have alot of control over him, that is not his fault.
Or maybe he just does not want to be involved?

I really don't think you should judge her for starting a relationship with him at all. You don't know about their relationship, yeah it may not be the best circumstances to base a new relationship on, but it's what they are doing and you need to come to terms with that.

 

[Desi's_lost]

It is his fault. My family would take him, if he needed a place to stay. And from today on he has no excuse as he is 18.

Oh I really do not care what he does with her, its the point that this is not the time for him to get involved with anyone. It is wrong. Think what you want, but if she knows whats going on, she is trash. And even stupider to think that he will not play the same games. Come to think of it, if she does know, she'll get what she deserves anyway.

 

[aob1013]

 

[Youngling]

Everyday there are fathers walking away from their repsonsibilities, sad i know but ur not the only person to go through a situation like this.
Ur going to be a mother, u need to do the right thing and think about u and ur baby.
I dont know why ur wasting ur time on him, he obviously isnt grown up enough to face up to his responsibilities.
Be the bigger person and do right by ur LO.
xx

 

[rubixcyoob.]

Going to the papers is extremely immature and childish imo. It's not going to solve anything. It will just add extra pressure on you and will turn into a game of he said she said. Kiddy games like telling tales in the playground. It will turn around and bite you in the ass.

And you have no right to judge that poor girl! How in God's name is she a whore or trailer trash? Just because she found a single boy she liked and who liked her and they got together? If your reasoning were correct he should never ever get a new girlfriend because of the way he is acting or any girl who would like him in the future is a slut. Maybe no guy should ever get involved with you then? Since it would make them a whore for being with someone who has a child and a difficult ex situation? It seems you are hurting and jealous that he is moving on with your life.

As for him going to college how do you know he will always work in his parent's store? His qualifications will lead to better and bigger things. He may work there while he is in college but who cares? At least he is working and trying to better his life instead of sitting on benefits and doing nothing with his life.

Honestly, you're better off forgetting about them. You rant about how vile they are and how immature and abuse he is, then rant about how he and his family want nothing to do with your LO. Maybe that's for the best? No child needs that type of person in their life - regardless of their connection. Do the right thing for your daugther and don't stoop to their level, don't throw names about and grow up and realise you have the greatest gift in the world and it is his fault he is missing out on something so special. Instead of trying to get back at them and score points you should pity them.

 

[Desi's_lost]

Like I said, i've decided I dont care anymore. Her disgusting choice will bite her. Its one thing if the baby was already born and everything was was settled. But no, things are still upside down. If she's stupid like me, she'll soon be tearing her heart out trying to fix him, and it'll never happen. And i'll laugh last.

The only reason I want them anymore is for money. My baby girl deserves her share from them.

 

[stephx]

Not being funny but I think you both need to grow up... yes, its shit going through a breakup, esspecially when family get involved and stir up shit, but its not a mature thing to do going to the media, when really, who is going to care??

And he has every right to be in a new relationship, she is definatly not trash for getting with someone who has a pregnant ex. You to are not together, he can see whoever he wants

I would just forget about him and focus on your LO

xx

 

[laura.x.x]

Actually his 'new partner' is doing something wrong to me and my daughter. now he just has something new to spend money on and waste more time not working. I would be working if they would give me my job back, even though i hate them. what kind of a skeevy whore gets involved with an immature, abusive (today) 18 year old who has a daughter on the way?! Now that is trailer trash.[/QUOTE][/B]

From everything you've said you dont really have any contact with him anymore, therefore cannot know much about this girl and your being extremely judgemental and rude! She hasn't done anything to you to deserve such a bitching. If she wants to be in a relationship with someone regardless of their situation, thats her business. How would you feel if someone was writing something like that about you on the internet? Your calling them immature, but the way you have worded things is not mature at all.

I understand that your hurt and emotional and want the best for your child, but you are not going the right way about it, your better off ignoring these people and letting you and your baby have a better life without them if they are so bad.

 

[stuffymuffy]

Well said rubixcycoob

Hun, I think you've gotten a lot of great advice. I know it's easier said than done to forget about someone you were very involved with, I was with FOB for over a year, we had plans of getting married this summer and we were both eachother's worlds. Needless to say I was crushed when his parents split us up and even now that he has the ability to be with me he's chosen not too, it hurts, it really really hurts and I truly believe that one of the hardest things to do is watch the one you love, love someone else. I hated him for a very long time, wanted to see him hurt as I had, so I understand why you want to do what you are. But now I feel bad for him and his family that they're going to miss out on our surprised blessing. He's a single guy, he's going to date and it's not the girl's fault for what he and his family have done. But calling her names and being petty about the situation only makes you look rather immature.
My OH and I recently broke up (he's not FOB) and he had a son with another girl. She would say the rudest things about me to anyone who would listen and it didn't make me look bad, it made her look like the "trailer trash" and I do hate that word, and it made OH dislike her even more. What you're doing and how you're acting is going to accomplish nothing but push him farther away and give him reason to treat you more poorly.

 

[Desi's_lost]

I have nothing to say really. I'm quite disgusted that people think its okay to get involved with someone who is in the middle of all this bullsh.t.

 

[Lissa3120]

My FOB has had a numerous amount of GF's since getting me pregnant. And boy does it hurt! I can totally sympathize with you and all that, and yeah i'm jealous of FOB too, good for him that people can still look at him and see the guy i used to see, he deserves all the happiness the world can give him. Good for him that he still has his figure and can lure girls in with that! Good for him he has the self confidence to go out and find a new relationship. Good for him that right now his main priority is to get a new relationship. Just think "I'm glad he's happy, he deserves it, i wish him nothing more." and honestly you will feel better because you know that you tried, and that if he's happy then you and your baby can get on and be happy. Girls that get with guys that are expecting a baby aren't "Trailor trash" they just have different opinions and views to you, perhaps she doesn't know that he walked away... you don't know her, she doesn't know you, she would be wrong to judge you, as are you to judge her.
But seriously your like what 18/19? Your life so isn't over! Plenty more fish in the sea my love! There will be a guy out there for you, who will make you KNOW your special, and who will hold your daughter in his arms and sing her to sleep, and comfort her when she's sad, who'll kick that kid's ass that called her smelly. He's out there, you just gotta move on from FOB and find him. I know what your going through, but just because he's fathered a child doesn't make him a father by any means.
I really am sorry that he is such an ass, you and your baby don't deserve this, but it will get better. Don't go to the media, you'll just be giving FOB and his family the attention they want. they want you to be unreasonable so when people ask them about it they can blame it all on you and people would be so quick to believe it if you put it in the paper. Embrace your situation don't resent it.
All the best, and just remember your life has only just begun!

 

[rubixcyoob.]

And how is it immoral of her to like a boy who likes her and be with him? You really do not know this girl or their relationship so you are in no position to judge.

I could say it is immoral of you for going over to a guys house while still torn up about your ex and wanting him in your life. Or going over to a guys house when your daughter and how to build a stable enviornment for her should be your first and only thought just now.

You really don't like being judge yet you feel it's acceptable to judge this girl? Double standards is highly hypocritical.