Should I feel ashamed about my benifits?, Your Views on benifits.

[xMissxZoiex]

Hey Ladies,
I just wanted to know what your views are on benifits. I am woundering this because i have come across alot of prejedice since stopping work, Even lost a few 'friends' over it. People seem to think that i should be ashamed of "Scrounging" of the social because if someone asks me what i do i wont lie about it...


What are your views on benifits and the people on them?


P.S. - Just to let you know that my partner has been told by the doctors that it is unsafe for him to work and needs a full time carer so i have took on that role .. Should i really feel bad for this?

Thank you for any replys xxx

 

[Arcanegirl]

No you certainly shouldnt feel bad, you have a genuine reason for being on them.

If people want to be small minded about it then theyre not worth the friendship.

 

[Charlotte-j]

No, you shouldn't feel bad at all.
Caring for someone is one of the hardest things you could do a really its a ful time job, in my opinion. So dont feel ashamed at all

I only get annoyed when people are on benefits for clearly no reason (eg no children, no disabilities etc)

xx

 

[// arcadia]

People who genuinely need benefits through illness, redundancy, etc = fine .. people who are perfectly capable of working but choose not too = not fine.

 

[caz81]

People who genuinely need benefits through illness, redundancy, etc = fine .. people who are perfectly capable of working but choose not too = not fine.

agreed!

 

[xMissxZoiex]

Its nice to know that not everyone one is looking down on me =) just to let you know that the 'friends' that didnt like that we were on benifits are no longer friends and have spoken to them in a while and dont intend to talk to them anytime soon.

I tryed me just working and my DF going to stay with friends and family through out the day and getting people to come round to stay with him while i was at work but i was working 60hours a week someweeks and i was getting exhausted and struggling to live on the money that i was earning.

I have been feeling increasingly bad about it with people ask what do you do for a living ... o im caring for my bf (He doesnt look sick lol) and the seem to be like ooo right okayy then .. and i find it very rude and its starting to get to me =/

Thank you for the support ladies x

 

[littleblonde]

No way should you feel bad or made to feel bad. There is a massive difference between staying of to be a caring and not working cause you cant be bothered, You are doing a great thing for your BF. Dont let anyone tell you different

 

[Woubouma]

Hope I'm okay to post here, I'm quite new. Please don't feel bad! I'm a full time carer and it is hard work and not something people do just to get benefits!

 

[AppleBlossom]

If you are on benefits for a reason you have no need to be ashamed. I am on benefits and I do get stick for it, mainly jokingly but still, the reason I don't work atm is because I am single mum with no regular childcare and no nurseries near me or that I could afford even with financial help. But I intend to work in the near future and I am hopefully going to be doing a uni course soon. People who should be ashamed to be on benefits are those who don't want to work and intend to stay on them and keep popping out babies so they can get more money

 

[mummylaura]

It sounds like you earn every penny of the money you bring in .

I do have a problem with some people on benefits , basically those that just look at it as a easy way to get money and not do anything about it.

Two example - A "friend" pregnant with her 3rd in 4 years (all different dads) , she does not work neither does her partner and neither plan to . They are always splashing cash and it so frustrating.
Then my sister who has one daughter aged 7 , full time in school . Neither her or her partner work , he does not look for work and she does now and then and leaves after a week or to because she does not like it .

It is people like this that are taken advantage of it , the system is made to help and you need the help . You should be proud that you are being a carer , gosh i bet if you were working as a full time carer (out side the home) you would be bringing in more.

 

[purpledaisy2]

No, not at all hun. You have a genuine reason for being on them and as others have said, being a carer is one of the hardest jobs there are.

People who are capable of working and don't / cheat the benefit system then yes, they really do hit a nerve with me.

You have done a great thing stopping work to care for your OH, try not to let other people bother you xx

 

[freckleonear]

I know how you feel. I've been caring for my husband, who was on benefits due to illness from May last year until just last week when he was finally well enough to get a new job. If you met him out on the street you'd have no idea that he was ill. A friend once told me that "benefits are there to help people who need them, you need that help" but as much as I knew that, I couldn't help feeling terrible about it. Sadly people DO judge you and it hurts everytime you read a rude comment about people on beneftis. I felt so ashamed and avoided the topic whenever possible, but just keep reminding yourself that you deserve them and are doing your best.

 

[honey08]

either this way or u go bk to wrk and let the nhs pay for a full time carer they wud loose thousands if u never did it, i wud like to think ur "friends" shud be there more 4 u more than ever now x

 

[Blah11]

I have a problem with people who lie about their circumstances to get benefits (whether its saying theyre living on their own when with a partner, not declaring earnings, faking a disability etc etc) and people who can work but choose not to.. I don't think I should be working and paying taxes so they can be lay abouts.
If people genuinly need benefits to live then I have absolutely no problem with that.

I think single mums with children who are in full time education should get a job though. fair enough when they're not at school but when they're out the house for 6 hours a day I think the mums need to stop making excuses and get a job.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I dont know what people think of me hun

I'm on benifits because I am in full time education

Well not at the moment as I have taken a year out before uni. But I do look for jobs I apply for them and take CVS in to the shops but at the moment no one will employ me.Even nurseries arnt employing so my qualifications arnt even getting me any where. So I am a volunteer in my local sure start centre helping in the sessions and using my qualifications in childcare to help others

Next year alot of my benifits will be cut as I am going to uni etc and the grants.

I dont know if I diserve them but people will have their own opinon

As for you sweetie your a full time carer .

You dont need comments like that. Your doing such a nice thing and people shouldnt put you down for that
xx

 

[expecting09]

I've had a couple of people try and give me stick because I'm a single mum on benefits. I will be looking for a job when Kacie starts pre-school, but in the meantime I'm thinking about doing an open university course to bump up my CV abit, (beacause it's seriously lacking!) and then should give me a decent chance of finding a job pretty quick when Kacie does start pre-school.

Alot of people judge people on benefits because there are a few that have no reason to be on them, yet still claim.. some people generalise everyone under one catagory 'oh they're benefit scronging scum'. Best just to let it go over your head x

 

[XxxIM08-09xxX]

The very fact that you are asking this question shows that you are not a 'scrounger'.

Benefits are there to help people who need them. My dad is my Mum's full time carer and he is on duty 24/7, so I know how hard it is. People like you and my dad are why we have a benefits system in place and you should not be ashamed of taking them.

Unfortunately, the cost of administration to work out who really deserve benefits would be more expensive than the cost of the benefits that are paid out to people who just milk the system, therefore they get away with it - that is just an unfortunate fact.

You are doing a grand job and don't let anyone make you feel bad about 'earning' your benefits, because that's what you are doing. You are doing a really hard job and should be proud.

 

[xMissxZoiex]

Thank you for all the lovely comments im feeling alot better about it after reading these and people dont know how hard it is sometimes looking after someone it is hard but i have to do it for the man i love and we will get through it together and learn not to let people bother me.

Thank you
xxxx

 

[honey08]

tell others to mind there own buisness anyways u dont have to explain ur self to anybody

 

[xMissxZoiex]

Thank you =) people are so nosey and want to know how much you get and everything lol