Should I take the FRER today or tomorrow?

[jrob]

My friend is coming here in a little bit to go out to dinner. She is bringing me a FRER. Should I take it today after dinner or wait until tomorrow? At this point I am a week late and have been getting BFNs on the EPT digital tests. Does FMU make a difference at this point? Or am I good to go to take it tonight?

 

[lw0619]

i got my first positive in the afternoon and that line was actually darker than it was when i took a new test the next day with FMU. I say if youre pregnant, then taking tonight or tomorrow wont make a difference GL!! and post an update!

 

[BearFamily]

Some women get better results with FMU but others find it works better later on during the day.

 

[jrob]

Well it was a BFN. Undeniably negative. And now I am actually starting to feel crampy. They got really bad before and felt like AF was showing up any moment. I went to the bathroom and there was a little bit of brown spotting on the tp. The cramps have gone down now, but are still there. I don't think there's much hope at this point. I'm so disappointed because I was really hoping this would be it for me.

 

[jrob]

Oh btw, this is CD 41 for me now. Any idea why it would be this late if its not a pregnancy?

 

[pandi77]

80% of women will experience "off" cycles at least once if not more during their childbearing years. It happens much more than people think and are especially frustrating when ttc. It could simply be an off month for you or a hormonal imbalance caused by stress or other outside factors. Sorry you didn't get your bfp and hope this was a one time deal for you and doesn't happen again!

 

[lw0619]

so sorry jrob i have been in your shoes. i tried for 2 1/2 years... it sucks. try not to give up. Do you know of any medical reasons why you havent conceived?

 

[jrob]

Thanks. As for medical reasons, I think I need a new doctor. Mine won't give me any answers and keeps trying to shove birth control pills down my throat. He says it helps prevent another ectopic pregnancy and i was like "umm yeah, or ANY pregnancy!" I have high cortisol levels. I also found out that I have high testosterone levels that he didn't mention. I only found out about it from another physician at his practice who I saw because he was out that day. She said it was not high enough to be concerned about it being a tumor... I wasn't even aware testosterone could cause a tumor. But they won't give me any reasons as to why I am having difficulties. And they won't refer me to a fertility specialist because I haven't had enough consecutive MCs. Basically, that entire office acts like I just need to be on birth control for the rest of my life. It's really weird. The doctor actually got mad at me for stopping it. I don't seem to have trouble conceiving though, just maintaining the pregnancy. I only have one tube too because I had an ectopic in Jan. 2013. So, it's going to be a lot more difficult from here on out to conceive. I'm not getting any real help from this office. I am in the process of looking for another one. Especially because if I DO get pregnant and it sticks, I want to deliver at a particular hospital and this doctor works out of a hospital I never want to set foot in for the rest of my life.

 

[momNatasha]

well jrob do you usually have regular cycles? how long are they? you've waited so long before you decided to change that loath doctor

 

[momNatasha]

and btw I don't think fmu does make any diference when you are late for your period. I tested 14 dpo with my ds and got a BFP late that day and I was still a day before af was due, which is obvious didn't show up then

 

[jrob]

My cycles are regular enough. I very typically am on a 32 day cycle. Every once in a while it has been a day or 2 off. But I can always tell it's coming. I don't chart because it confuses me so I don't know my luteal phase precisely. I have been tracking my cycle on mymonthlycycles. com for years and usually get my period when it says I will. And my cm usually coincides with when it says I should be ovulating based on a 14 day luteal phase. Like I said, here and there I might get it on day 34, or day 30. Once in the past 2 years I got it on day 28. And in March of 2013 it was on day 36, which I figure was just a part of my body readjusting after my ectopic.

The reason I even stayed with this doctor is because of the ectopic. I didn't have insurance when it happened. I went to the ER 9 TIMES! First they told me I had a mc. Then my levels were rising, but not appropriately, and they couldn't find anything in my uterus on an u/s. They kept sending me home and telling me to come back. Finally, I started bleeding heavily and went (the 9th time). The levels dropped and they said I had an incomplete mc and referred me to a doctor for a follow up. I decided to go to MY doctor from when I had insurance and just pay him out of pocket since that was what I would have to do with this other guy. Immediately he said he didn't think it was a mc but that all the signs pointed to an ectopic and he didn't understand why they didn't treat me for it. He made lots of phone calls and referred me to another office who would take me with my pending medicaid to get a laparoscopy. That place opted instead to give me methotrexate, despite my opposition and wanting to get the lap. That was Jan 9. On Jan 11 I ended up in the ER of a different hopsital that found a 5cm mass in my left tube that had begun to rupture, and I lost the tube. I wasn't even a candidate for the methotrexate 2 days earlier because you have to be less than 3cm. And there's no way it grew 2 cm in 2 days. This guy was the only doctor who took the whole thing seriously. So, when I got insurance I decided to keep going to him. I felt safe. But he just won't listen to me that I don't want to be on BC anymore. I'm 30 years old and part of me feels like it's part of why I have these issues to begin with. I was perfectly fine until I did one round of the depo shot in 2009 and didn't have a period for a year. After that I started having MCs and the ectopic. The other thing is, my bf and I aren't TTC like the rest of you guys are. So, it's not, in my doctor's eyes, like we have been trying for over a year with no results. We aren't trying to prevent it either, but I don't go crazy tracking everything. My bf doesn't really want another kid (he has one already) but would be ok if it happened by accident, because to him then it would be "meant to be". I really want a child of my own, but I love my bf and his child and am not going to drive myself crazy, or REALLY try to get pregnant when he doesn't want to. I hope that makes sense. I'm kinda ranting at this point. Anyway.... So, my doctor doesn't take me as seriously as someone who is actively TTC. I am limited with my insurance, too, with what doctors I can see. And there is only ONE who takes my insurance that is affiliated with my hospital of choice. I am due for an annual, so as soon as AF is gone I will be making an appointment. Hopefully I have better luck with that Dr.

 

[jrob]

Oh, I also have a serious medical condition in my back. I am getting a nerve burning procedure done on Tuesday. I have been on pain medication for years and that could have something to do with my fertility as well. Before they did away with the pre-existing condition clause, I was unable to get treatment. I finally started seeing a pain management doctor in January of this year. I have gotten a few rounds of cortisone shots in my back, but they only worked short term (a week at best). Hopefully, after Tuesday's procedure I will be virtually pain free and no longer in need of medication. The procedure is on my SI joint/lumbar facet joints. I still have issues in my mid-back so the next step after this is injections there, and possible nerve burning in the future. Once this is all said and done, I should be able to get myself more healthy again. I was hoping for the BFP this time around, but also worried because of my back condition, medication use, and lack of physical health in general. I've gained a lot of weight since the problems got bad. It will be nice to be able to work out again once my back feels better. I know weight can have a lot to do with fertility sometimes. I am disappointed, but I'm not giving up hope yet.

 

[BearFamily]

I agree that you need a new doctor. Has he explained why he is pushing birth control? I'm not a health proffessional, but maybe if you understood why he is pushing birth control then you might be able to make a decision.

 

[jrob]

He is pushing the birth control because I am high risk for ectopic pregnancy now that I've had one. Also because it regulates hormones. But, as I've tried to explain to him, it doesn't just prevent an ectopic. It prevents pregnancy in general and I don't want that. He won't give me any other alternatives for my hormones either. I went on bcp shortly after the ectopic and it stopped my periods. I didn't like that. I felt like it was messing with my body too much and I stopped. He gave me a really hard time about it. That made me not want to go to him anymore. It's my body and I feel like I'm too old to keep messing with it like that. On top of that, I don't really think it did anything to regulate my hormones that I have too much of. At least not the testosterone. I did feel a little better emotionally, so it probably helped the corisol levels. Still, not being able to get pregnant is not something I am willing to do just because he's afraid it might end up being another ectopic. That's a chance I unfortunately have to take. I'm not getting any younger and it's not like I'm in a time in my life that I couldn't handle having a baby. He just won't listen.

 

[BearFamily]

Yep he sounds like an ass hole

 

[lw0619]

I hate when drs don't seem to want to help. My FS was like that. If it hadn't been for my endocrinologist, I probably still wouldn't have my baby. I saw my FS for 5 years and he didn't help me at all. I'm sorry. It's all so hard and overwhelming and cocky drs don't make it any easier. I hope you can find someone new!