Should men be in the labor room *Mother&Baby Mag*

[Enekai]

My husband told me he passed out during the delivery of one of his sons from a previous marriage. So, I think I will have him and my dad wait in the waiting room (I doubt they'd stay home) and my mom with me. She wouldn't have it any other way either. She'd bust in there whether I wanted her or not And I'm sure she'll order the doctor around and drive everyone nuts!

 

[fionar]

I wanted my husband there, but in the background and not touching/talking/near me for most of the labor, while I wanted my mom there holding my hand and talking me through contractions and all that. At a certain point (as the baby was crowning, but I didn't know that at the time) I suddenly wanted him RIGHT THERE RIGHT NOW and wanted my mom out of our way. It all had to do with what stage of labor I was in, but I'd never just say I didn't want my husband there at all. It would feel wrong for me for him to not be there (besides which, he did the catching with our son, and I want him to with this one, too!).

 

[misspriss]

Well, I plan to have a homebirth, I would prefer it to be intimate with just myself and DH (Midwife nearby, but not that close!). My mom is not longer with us though, so I guess I only have the DH option (between DH and Mom). If she was, I would want her to be there along with DH I guess.

 

[exoticsiren]

Bf will be w me in d room. I think its important for fathers to be present

 

[Mum2BKW]

I can't imagine anything worse than having my Mum in the delivery room with me! It makes me feel a bit sad that I'm not very close to her, as so many women seem to have really great, supportive Mums who they want nearby during labour.

For me, Hubbie is my best friend and my rock and will absolutely be there looking after me and encouraging me.

My sister is also brilliant and, if she wants to, would be welcome to come to the hospital while I'm in labour but I don't really want anyone else in the room when baby is delivered other than Hubbie. I don't want my Mum anywhere near, we might not even tell her I'm in labour until after the baby is born so she doesn't come down uninvited as she'll really stress me out!

 

[MrsKTB]

My OH was a star during H's birth, it was pretty stressful and he stayed calm and strong and was there by my side. As much as I love my mum, I'd hate for her to be there, we dont have that sort of relationship at all!

If my hubby couldnt be there for whatever rerason (which is a possibility this time around...brothers stag weekend...he cant decide what to do...major dilema lol) Id love my bestie to be there, she'd keep me calm, make me laugh and help me focus.

 

[JJWEBB]

VERY dumb article. It shouldn’t even be a topic. My husband is SO excited to be a Dad. He is just as much of a parent to this baby as I am. I couldn’t imagine even thinking to not have him there for the birth of his child. That is so weird to me….

 

[WholeHeart]

My husband says there's no way to keep him out, because it's his kid, too. I wouldn't try, though. The whole thing is half his fault, so I figure he *deserves* a good view of the whole process, lol. And he's been known to pass out at the sight of needles.... I will have enough mercy on him not to make him watch them putting in an epidural if I should decide I want one, though.

My mother is way too excitable and controlling, so I'm not sure just how much I would want her to be involved....

I think it generally depends a lot on personality, I suppose. Personality makes me think I'd be a lot better off with my husband and *maybe* my sister, but it'd be awkward to allow my sister in and keep my mom out.

 

[zombiedaisy]

Dh would be very upset if I didnt want him in the room when LO was born. Its his child as well and I feel he has every right to be there. Just because I carried LO for 9 months doesnt mean its not just as much his child as it is mine. He literally texts me everyday at work asking how im doing and if its "baby time" because he will drop everything and run out the door to be with me.

Plus, hes my biggest support system and we're in this together. So I need him there for me as well.

 

[Sparkles237]

As close as i am to my mum i don't want her there at all. My fiance wants to be there and i want him to be, those first few moments i want it between just me, him and baby and not with my mum breathing down the back of our necks waiting for her turn to hold the baby!

 

[sevenofnine]

I think my husband would be so heartbroken if he were to miss it... he's given me just about every phone number on the planet to reach him when he's away at work!

In fact, him and his guy friend (whose wife is also as far along as me!) are going out on Friday night as the last time before our babies are born... and he almost cancelled- as if being away for a few hours will make me go into labor!

Us expectant wives are just going to chill out at home!

 

[mizza1987]

i'm just going to have my husband there - the way I see it, we conceived it all by ourselves and it's going to be a special moment and I'd like it to be just the three of us!! xx

 

[babyhopes2010]

what a silly question! of course. They are the father. they are meant to be there. hey if im gonna be in pain so can he.

its a special momment for us. noone else

 

[Sarahdisco]

Its just going to be me and OH in the delivery room. My mum is on standby in case OH cant cope or I need the extra support but I'm hoping to be able to do it with just the two of us.

Neither of us are that concerned with the whole "will he look at me differently" - he already does! (apparently my boobs are no longer boobs, they are feeding machines, my belly isnt my belly anymore is bubs house!)

He doesn't see it as a bad thing though, he's even started kissing my stretchmarks!!!

I think it would be unfair to not have him in the delivery room, he helped make this baby so its only right that he gets to see her being born! Plus, then he can really appreciate what I'm going through to push her into the world!!!

 

[CatherineK]

Old thread resurrected! My husband has been my rock in labor, and a great help. Can't imagine him not there. He is also a trained nurse and phlebotomist, so he can 'translate' a lot of the medical jargon for me

 

[ukgirl23]

if I have to be in there then so does he haha! men gain a lot of respect for ladies in that room.. that can only be a good thing

 

[brinib]

I would not have made it through 18 hours of drug free labor without my husband. He literally held me up and helped me through it. My mom would have been hurting FOR me if that makes sense-- and not that helpful as much as I love her. I didn't want anyone but DH. The nurse was really great too.

 

[MrsStutler]

I would never even think to judge a woman on who she wanted in the delivery room, but I do think it's a talk she should have with the baby's father at least. He is just as much a parent too, and should have an opinion voiced, but if he is ok with not being there then what's the big deal?

I had my husband, my mother and my mother in law in the room and when I had a contraction the first thing I did was look for my husbands eyes. He was the one I picked, the one I needed, in those moments. He gave me the most strength and support the whole time. He was flat out amazing.

Something I never expected was his new respect for me. He saw me in a totally different way that day and thanked me for putting myself through all that to bring our son into the world. So for us, he will always be there for the birth of our children.

 

[xx~Lor~xx]

Totally up to the mother and father to be!! I wouldn't want my mum there while I was giving birth, the only person I'd want there is my OH. To the point of, this pregnancy I'm not sure if OH will make it for the birth, and if he can't, I know I will do it alone. My friend, already knows she wants her mum and partner.

 

[3boys]

my hubby has been by my side through all 5 births and he has been invaluable, i honestly dont think i could do it without him and he has said he would not be happy if there was anyone else in the room, for us its a special time for us as a couple and i wouldnt want to share it. In saying that I hope that my daughter wants me there, how hypocritical am I? lol. I think whatever makes you comfortable and happy is what u should go with as long as you both agree. x