I am frustrated with people who have had healthy babies without any complications telling me that the mc was a good thing and telling me that getting rushed into a d&c without any opportunity to get a 2nd US was good.
Yes a mc happens normally when a baby is not healthy. Yes, in many cases a d&c can bring closure. But have "you" ever been through this? No. Does it make me feel better? No. It makes me angry.
A friend of mine who had a normal pregnancy keeps saying this to me. She said she didn't understand why I was angry. She thinks it was all good for me. She thinks I should be over it
I told her that I am 38 and don't have much time. She said she wants 3. She's about 33. she said that she might be 38 by the time she has her 2nd or 3rd. I told her that t least he has one now. She essentially said it was my fault for waiting so long. I told her I wanted to start at 36 but had to WAIT almost 2 years to get appointments and then clearance from my gastroenterologist, to ensure my Crohn's was in remission. It is not my fault...and why would she say this?
She asked me why I was still so upset. She said the d&c was good for closure, that the baby wasn't healthy. I told her it took me 2 years to get the okay to start and less than 24 hours to end it....even though I told the doctors I was not confident in the US technician. (Sorry I keep brining this up but it really angers me)
She said that at least I can get pregnant. (Reading all of your experiences and losses really breaks my heart btw)
Today I told my mom that a friend of mine was given a US immediately before the d&c, while in hospital. She gave me a look and said that've d&c was good. She still doesn't understand that I can't have closure until I talk on details about the results of the US and d&c.
I'm tired of explaining and justifying my feelings to people who haven't experienced this. Why do I feel this way? I just do. .
Yes a mc happens normally when a baby is not healthy. Yes, in many cases a d&c can bring closure. But have "you" ever been through this? No. Does it make me feel better? No. It makes me angry.
A friend of mine who had a normal pregnancy keeps saying this to me. She said she didn't understand why I was angry. She thinks it was all good for me. She thinks I should be over it
I told her that I am 38 and don't have much time. She said she wants 3. She's about 33. she said that she might be 38 by the time she has her 2nd or 3rd. I told her that t least he has one now. She essentially said it was my fault for waiting so long. I told her I wanted to start at 36 but had to WAIT almost 2 years to get appointments and then clearance from my gastroenterologist, to ensure my Crohn's was in remission. It is not my fault...and why would she say this?
She asked me why I was still so upset. She said the d&c was good for closure, that the baby wasn't healthy. I told her it took me 2 years to get the okay to start and less than 24 hours to end it....even though I told the doctors I was not confident in the US technician. (Sorry I keep brining this up but it really angers me)
She said that at least I can get pregnant. (Reading all of your experiences and losses really breaks my heart btw)
Today I told my mom that a friend of mine was given a US immediately before the d&c, while in hospital. She gave me a look and said that've d&c was good. She still doesn't understand that I can't have closure until I talk on details about the results of the US and d&c.
I'm tired of explaining and justifying my feelings to people who haven't experienced this. Why do I feel this way? I just do. .