Simplifying - How to deal with unwanted gifts

[septemberbaby]

We had/have that problem too. One way to clear some space and show MIL how much crap she's buying is to just load up a HUGE box of toys and take them to MILs house "so LO has toys to play with when she visits".

I'm already worried about her birthday though...at Christmas she got enough presnts to fill a big black bin bag, and that's just from MIL/FIL. my own parents are surprisingly good at sticking to the one present rule, and they usually ask what she may like...but MIL just goes way overboard with plastics that LO has no idea how to play with. Her christmas presents included a noisy plastic disney train (does she really need "characters" right now, plenty of time for that in nursery...), a stuffed snowman, a teddy bear, stacking cups (useful present for once, and they do get played with), various outfits that were too summery for the time and now don't fit anymore, a cheapy card book that came apart first time LO sucked on the corner, a hideous mobile that smells like one of those new agey incense shops, a plastic jar with bees in that spins when you push a button at the top... :/

I've decided to just keep a box in the room and chuck everything we don't need in and take it to the charity shop whenever it's full.

I really don't want to be ungrateful, but we have no space and I'd rather they got her just one thing, and if they feel like that's not enough they could put some money in her savings account for her or something like that. I hate to think how much all her toys cost that she never plays with...I'm sure she'd appreciate that money when she's out of school and wants to travel the world...

 

[Rachel_C]

I hate the clothes thing! My inlaws seem to have something against buying clothes that fit the kids. I understand buying the next size up, I do that e.g. my 3.5 year old wears age 4-5 clothes now cos she's fairly tall and they aren't massively big and she'll get an extra little while out of them, but buying a newborn 12-18 months clothes is just ridiculous, especially when the four of us were living in a one bedroom flat at the time!!! They even bought my LO an age 7-8 years top when she was 2 . The charity shop got that within about 3 seconds!

 

[Toms Mummy]

Septemeber baby, I agree with trying to encourage them to put money in a savings account instead but my MIL will do this and STILL buy crap

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I hate the clothes thing! My inlaws seem to have something against buying clothes that fit the kids. I understand buying the next size up, I do that e.g. my 3.5 year old wears age 4-5 clothes now cos she's fairly tall and they aren't massively big and she'll get an extra little while out of them, but buying a newborn 12-18 months clothes is just ridiculous, especially when the four of us were living in a one bedroom flat at the time!!! They even bought my LO an age 7-8 years top when she was 2 . The charity shop got that within about 3 seconds!

My ex in laws did that, I kept the stuff then forgot all about them until they were too small

 

[Larkspur]

We are aiming to keep our lives as simple and eco friendly as possible by reducing the amount of 'things' we possess. We're aiming to keep our home more or less plastic free and I prefer LO to have simple toys and not loads of plastic junk. The problem is that relatives keep buying her stuff. Yesterday, for no reason, her aunt bought her a bright pink, plastic Hello Kitty guitar. Exactly the kind of toy that I hate. Of course LO loves it and I appreciate that auntie wants to spoil her niece but our house is filled with all of these plastic monstrosities. I don't want to be ungrateful and I appreciate the thought but how can I get them to stop buying all of this stuff for LO. I would donate it but the relatives would notice and wonder where their gifts were. I've tried to drop hints but it's hard without sounding ungrateful for the gifts. Does anyone else have the same problem and how do you deal with it?

I used to be very similar in my thinking, only wanting LO to have simple, eco-friendly toys, and wondering how to tell people to purchase according to my standards.

I've come to the conclusion that it's not really possible to have it both ways - there's no polite way to tell people, "Thanks for the thought but I don't want your tacky plastic junk" - so either you can decide your principles are so important that you can risk offending well-meaning relatives by insisting on them... or you can decide to focus on appreciating the generosity of others even when it is not something you would have chosen yourself.

Children are small for a short time, and the 'junk' won't be in your house for long in the big scheme of things. As you say yourself, your child loves her Hello Kitty guitar - maybe it will encourage an interest in music. (Kids have terrible taste.) I think as long as she has a balance of simple, educational toys, as well as the more, let's say entertaining stuff, she's not going to be negatively affected.

If you're really bothered by having so much stuff, maybe you use it as an opportunity to teach your child about generosity, and once a year (or six months, depending on how much there is), sit down and explain to her that while she's very lucky to have lots and lots of nice things, other children aren't so lucky. Then you line up the offending items, tell her she can choose one or two to keep, and the rest will be 'shared with'/given to children who don't have such lovely things. Then, if the rellies want to know where they've gone, you can tell them proudly that your child chose those items to be given to needy kids so they could enjoy them too.

 

[Wellington]

Oh Larkspur!

I really like that idea! Definitely stealing that idea for this house

 

[pachamama92]

I was just going to suggest what Larkspur said. Planning on waiting till LO a bit older (he's only 14 months) and let him choose some toys to give to the children's hospital for other little boys and girls to play with.