Steven
New Member
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2019
- Messages
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Hello my name is Steven
I am a single father of two beautiful children Alaina 18months and Kaiden 6yrs
Kaiden is severely disabled to put his disability into perspective without writing a book he was approved in 5 months without any appeals just off paperwork I already had on his conditions. He is a dual diagnosis disabled child with many multiple disability's on both sides that affect his ability to function on his own daily.
Ok so first off I apologize in advance if this intro is a long read but im in need of advice and severely pressed for time on a daily basis to the point of it being very overwhelming so just don't have time today to do the proper forum research and post in multiple different threads with different issues but I will do those things as I go over the next few weeks.
So heres the short version of my situation.
Last year I had a decent job making decent money was married and things were ok. My son has been disabled since birth but I decided not to pursue disability because I felt I was capable of doing it and didn't want to 1. lable him and give him a crutch moving forward and also take help I didn't feel I needed. On some levels I was very wrong in that thought process and on some I wasn't. Anyways begining of this year my wife at the time asked for a divorce and was drifting down a bad path. I got a lawyer and did what she told me and things were pretty crazy. Long storey short my then wife made a lot of really bad decisions and I ended up having to take custody (I also went out of my way to make sure that even though she had made bad choices that she had every oppertunity to 1. see the kids and 2. get her new life together for the kids by submitting a downward deviation to $0 on child support with the aggrement that she would find a job and secure housing and also worked in parental rights with me having final say if we disagree. I also provided oppertunitys for her to spend way more time with the kids then ordered and even go as far as picking her up twice a week in a different town and bringing her to the visits because she doesn't drive) With that being said I had and still have major issues with her choices and lifestyle but I know that no matter our differences co-parenting is very important and any problems between me and her especially if it takes her away from the kids just hurts the kids even if those issues are well founded. As of now she is doing better and has made improvements and we are doing pretty well co-parenting for the most part. So after the divorce I had to choose between my great career or my children because my job required me to travel for one week every month and that just wasn't a option for me at the time because of issues with my son. I left my job and started burning through my savings and realized very fast I needed help. I applied for everything I could and instantly ran into so much resistance which at the time I understood because there are a lot of people out there who take advantage and I figured that resistance would go away, well it didn't and even after I absolutely proved my situation to these programs and people and showed that me and my family were exactly what these programs were built for the resistance just kept getting worse. Every time I had to speak with people in these programs I felt like a inmate at a jail or like I was a wanted criminal, I got to see first hand the lack of humanity and compassion in our system. I watched as obvious scammers and lazy people who were good at working the system and knew exactly what to say get treated great because they had no problem with never working a day in there lives. Ive been told I cant go to my sons doctors appointments, I ended up getting multiple notes from my sons doctor well I was waiting for him to get approved for SSI and they gave a exemption for two months after countless hours of my time (time that really needed to be focused on my son) at the end of that two months my son got approved for SSI and I went in and made a appointment I then explained he got accepted but that I had to wait for his SSI paperwork and had no power over how long that takes and made it clear they could call SSI to verify but nope they don't do anything so either I need to demand that I get paperwork now from SSI (like I have any power to do that) or my son is magically not disabled any more as of the 28th of FEB because the paper god said so. I then told them that regaurdles of what there computer says it doesn't change my sons condition. I went out recently and acquired a part time job that is very flexable so I could work any hrs I can because 1. I need to get away from the house and stress a few hours a week 2. im surviving right now for me and my kids and I wont lay down and just let them suffer I refuse. Well today I was told by this program that I cant do that I have to choose either im exempt or not and either I work 87 hrs a month or none. I then said to the guy "so you would rather me not work at all then work the hours I can" SERIOUSLY! this system is so broken and I cant find a advocate everything takes months and months I just don't know what to do. My son is at a crossroads with a very serious phycological disability well strguggling with multiple physical disabilitys and he needs me but im barely able to do anything because my days are literaly filled with dealing with heartless people at programs built to help familys in my exact situation but that are set up to help whoever knows the system and can play by there very strict guidelines well people like me in my situation do not fit into there broken guidelines its just so much and im tired and angry and sad just OMG.
Sorry I ranted there its just so hard and im trying so hard and im so upset. Im a grown man crying well typing in a parenting forum and I just don't understand how so many people can just not care. My case is very well documented and there is literaly no way that it could be false or I could be taken advantage like its not even possible that I could be what these guidelines are set to protect but it so messed up that no one cares.
Ok im going to step away for a min and gain my composure so I can be a little more put together when I get responses. Any advice or assistance is very much apprieciated thank you in advance
I am a single father of two beautiful children Alaina 18months and Kaiden 6yrs
Kaiden is severely disabled to put his disability into perspective without writing a book he was approved in 5 months without any appeals just off paperwork I already had on his conditions. He is a dual diagnosis disabled child with many multiple disability's on both sides that affect his ability to function on his own daily.
Ok so first off I apologize in advance if this intro is a long read but im in need of advice and severely pressed for time on a daily basis to the point of it being very overwhelming so just don't have time today to do the proper forum research and post in multiple different threads with different issues but I will do those things as I go over the next few weeks.
So heres the short version of my situation.
Last year I had a decent job making decent money was married and things were ok. My son has been disabled since birth but I decided not to pursue disability because I felt I was capable of doing it and didn't want to 1. lable him and give him a crutch moving forward and also take help I didn't feel I needed. On some levels I was very wrong in that thought process and on some I wasn't. Anyways begining of this year my wife at the time asked for a divorce and was drifting down a bad path. I got a lawyer and did what she told me and things were pretty crazy. Long storey short my then wife made a lot of really bad decisions and I ended up having to take custody (I also went out of my way to make sure that even though she had made bad choices that she had every oppertunity to 1. see the kids and 2. get her new life together for the kids by submitting a downward deviation to $0 on child support with the aggrement that she would find a job and secure housing and also worked in parental rights with me having final say if we disagree. I also provided oppertunitys for her to spend way more time with the kids then ordered and even go as far as picking her up twice a week in a different town and bringing her to the visits because she doesn't drive) With that being said I had and still have major issues with her choices and lifestyle but I know that no matter our differences co-parenting is very important and any problems between me and her especially if it takes her away from the kids just hurts the kids even if those issues are well founded. As of now she is doing better and has made improvements and we are doing pretty well co-parenting for the most part. So after the divorce I had to choose between my great career or my children because my job required me to travel for one week every month and that just wasn't a option for me at the time because of issues with my son. I left my job and started burning through my savings and realized very fast I needed help. I applied for everything I could and instantly ran into so much resistance which at the time I understood because there are a lot of people out there who take advantage and I figured that resistance would go away, well it didn't and even after I absolutely proved my situation to these programs and people and showed that me and my family were exactly what these programs were built for the resistance just kept getting worse. Every time I had to speak with people in these programs I felt like a inmate at a jail or like I was a wanted criminal, I got to see first hand the lack of humanity and compassion in our system. I watched as obvious scammers and lazy people who were good at working the system and knew exactly what to say get treated great because they had no problem with never working a day in there lives. Ive been told I cant go to my sons doctors appointments, I ended up getting multiple notes from my sons doctor well I was waiting for him to get approved for SSI and they gave a exemption for two months after countless hours of my time (time that really needed to be focused on my son) at the end of that two months my son got approved for SSI and I went in and made a appointment I then explained he got accepted but that I had to wait for his SSI paperwork and had no power over how long that takes and made it clear they could call SSI to verify but nope they don't do anything so either I need to demand that I get paperwork now from SSI (like I have any power to do that) or my son is magically not disabled any more as of the 28th of FEB because the paper god said so. I then told them that regaurdles of what there computer says it doesn't change my sons condition. I went out recently and acquired a part time job that is very flexable so I could work any hrs I can because 1. I need to get away from the house and stress a few hours a week 2. im surviving right now for me and my kids and I wont lay down and just let them suffer I refuse. Well today I was told by this program that I cant do that I have to choose either im exempt or not and either I work 87 hrs a month or none. I then said to the guy "so you would rather me not work at all then work the hours I can" SERIOUSLY! this system is so broken and I cant find a advocate everything takes months and months I just don't know what to do. My son is at a crossroads with a very serious phycological disability well strguggling with multiple physical disabilitys and he needs me but im barely able to do anything because my days are literaly filled with dealing with heartless people at programs built to help familys in my exact situation but that are set up to help whoever knows the system and can play by there very strict guidelines well people like me in my situation do not fit into there broken guidelines its just so much and im tired and angry and sad just OMG.
Sorry I ranted there its just so hard and im trying so hard and im so upset. Im a grown man crying well typing in a parenting forum and I just don't understand how so many people can just not care. My case is very well documented and there is literaly no way that it could be false or I could be taken advantage like its not even possible that I could be what these guidelines are set to protect but it so messed up that no one cares.
Ok im going to step away for a min and gain my composure so I can be a little more put together when I get responses. Any advice or assistance is very much apprieciated thank you in advance
