Single Mummy Christmas Support Thread

[Jennifurball]

It is just starting to hit me now how hard I am going to find it not being a 'proper' family for her first Christmas. I thought if anyone else was feeling the same, or even feeling positive, to post here and give support and understanding help us in this tough time.

I understand not a lot of people may be around over Christmas on here, but for those who are who need someone to talk to, put it on here.

I will start. It doesn't help reading on facebook for status' that they can't wait for Christmas, and I know I should be excited for Scarlett's sake but I can't help but fill up thinking about what could have been. I have just laid her presents out and thought, we should be doing this with her daddy. As bad for her and me as he is, I feel like I am really missing out on the true festive feeling. I will worry every Christmas when he will want her, or who he is with whilst I am at home feeling miserable.

I also saw him the other day and he gave her loads of presents, and because he was being nice, it made me feel worse.

 

[staycutee]

this will be my 4th xmas as a single mummy and i can honestly say it doesnt bother me at all. i love hving him all to myself and i dnt really see us as missing out on being a family but thats probably because my ex was such a waste of space and would have ruined christmas had he been involved it any of it.

 

[Jennifurball]

That is good you are happy without him, what was your first xmas like? I am sure as the years go on it will hopefully be better, and I will hopefully have met someone else. I just want to be strong to make it nice for my beautiful girl, instead of letting my ex poison it. x

 

[whatwillbe]

Good thread , here's my rant , I'm due my baby any day now and it's killing me knowing fob is all happy spending Xmas with his ex , he hasn't spent a penny towards his own baby and has not one ounce of interest in her we don't exist to him, but on the upside I've been so busy wrapping pressents ect I don't have too much time to think about it and tomorow I think I'll be too busy to think about him and just hoping my baby comes soon, so excited to meet her ! It's really hard / depressing being alone at this time of year but we have our babies , keep ur chin up hun, merry Xmas and hopefully 2013 will be happier for all us single moms x

 

[Jennifurball]

Honestly once you are with LO you won't want him near, although it is awful how he had treated you. I wish for nothing more than for ex to not want her, because when you do see them it messes you up if you aren't over them or the fact they are moving on.

Enjoy your LO knowing they are all yours.

 

[whatwillbe]

Thanks Hun, yea it's prob a good thing I don't have to see him, it would drive me mental, it must be really hard you having to see fob, I hope he sorts himself out and realizes what he's lost x

 

[fairydust87]

Im glad its just me and Noah. FOB annoys me sometimes. Im with family today so not on my own in that sense. Noahs with his dad tomorrow so he gets two christmasses lucky him lol x

 

[Dezireey]

Sorry, I've got a rant relating to this today. Things have happened today which, to me are unacceptable.

Me and FOB have an extremely strained friendship (if you can even call it that). I find it extremely difficult to be nice or have a laugh with someone who has done such unkind things to me as he has. Nevertheless, its the season of good will, be kind to others, etc, etc. So, on Friday I sent him a funny e-greeting card saying Merry Christmas from both of us, no response. Today I send an e-mail saying 'Merry Christmas'. I know he is home alone as he's on facebook and he told me he was 'alone' over the festive period. Anyway, no response to that. I send a text saying 'merry xmas from his son', no response. eventually I ask him 'what is wrong? I thought we were being civil to each other etc?'. The absolute selfish ******* just says 'I don't believe in Christmas, Christmas is for family, I have none, I am alone so I don't celebrate'. In other words, he is lonely and sad because he has no-one on Christmas day. This infuriated me and I thought 'thats it!!' I've had enough. He has no family?? what is my son then? a figment of his imagination?

It's my little babys first ever xmas and no card, no present, not even a xmas message from his loser father. I just thought 'I can't have this man in my son's life as he gets older, there is no way I want the scenario of that piece of shit loser saying to my toddler 'well I don't celebrate Xmas, so I haven't got you anything and I don't wish anyone a merry xmas because I don't have family'

I told him that it was his choice to be alone, his choice to have no-one at xmas. he told me that was uncalled for to say that?. I then told him I no longer wish to communicate with nor see him ever again. I am so happy at Christmas without that sorry excuse for a man.

The way I see it ladies, especially for me, I would rather have all the Xmases left in my life being just me and my boy than have that man involved in it with his values and attitude. My LO is a child for cripes sake, children don't understand it when a Daddy won't give them a present or card for Xmas, it will hurt their little feelings.

Meh, good riddance to him. Fresh new start in the new year for us and CSA have the forms for him so he can just pay up and disappear now.

Merry Christmas to all by the way! LOL

 

[whatwillbe]

What a selfish loser, he sounds like a little boy in a mans body.. No wonder he's alone ! It's good it's just you and lo , especially at Xmas , could you imagine him being there with you ? It'd be like having another child , that's how it would of been if my fob had been with me and my kids , he's worse than a child, and today, even though it was a bit sad, the thought of being alone, I had a lovely day with my kids and my mom, you could guarantee it would of been a lot worse with him there, I hope you had a good day with lo , merry Xmas

 

[lemontree12]

oh dez, what a horrible piece of shit, the thing that sticks out about your fob, is he sounds so selfish, because he isnt havng a good day, screw everyone and he will try and ruin anyone elses christmas. you have gave him so many opportunities to do the right thing, and as hard as it is, he just dont sound interested. your litte boy is so young he will never remember so your doing to right thing biting the bullet now.
i just hate the thought that he will be able to think he can come in and out as much as he wants.



christmas in my household was prefect, babies first xmas and first xmas without fob. and i shocked myself, it is so magical having a baby around, she got spoilt , too much which wasnt needed because she is so small. a few times in the day time i thought i wonder if fob is thnking of her, but i had no feelings behind it, not even wanting him to, just thought about it. its now been a year since our breakup and i can now safely say fob is gone from my mind, that door is closed.


it takes time Jen, and you have started seeing him again when he sees scarlet. soon you will get used to it and it will become a chore. everything takes time. next year will be magical

 

[fairydust87]

Sorry, I've got a rant relating to this today. Things have happened today which, to me are unacceptable.

Me and FOB have an extremely strained friendship (if you can even call it that). I find it extremely difficult to be nice or have a laugh with someone who has done such unkind things to me as he has. Nevertheless, its the season of good will, be kind to others, etc, etc. So, on Friday I sent him a funny e-greeting card saying Merry Christmas from both of us, no response. Today I send an e-mail saying 'Merry Christmas'. I know he is home alone as he's on facebook and he told me he was 'alone' over the festive period. Anyway, no response to that. I send a text saying 'merry xmas from his son', no response. eventually I ask him 'what is wrong? I thought we were being civil to each other etc?'. The absolute selfish ******* just says 'I don't believe in Christmas, Christmas is for family, I have none, I am alone so I don't celebrate'. In other words, he is lonely and sad because he has no-one on Christmas day. This infuriated me and I thought 'thats it!!' I've had enough. He has no family?? what is my son then? a figment of his imagination?

It's my little babys first ever xmas and no card, no present, not even a xmas message from his loser father. I just thought 'I can't have this man in my son's life as he gets older, there is no way I want the scenario of that piece of shit loser saying to my toddler 'well I don't celebrate Xmas, so I haven't got you anything and I don't wish anyone a merry xmas because I don't have family'

I told him that it was his choice to be alone, his choice to have no-one at xmas. he told me that was uncalled for to say that?. I then told him I no longer wish to communicate with nor see him ever again. I am so happy at Christmas without that sorry excuse for a man.

The way I see it ladies, especially for me, I would rather have all the Xmases left in my life being just me and my boy than have that man involved in it with his values and attitude. My LO is a child for cripes sake, children don't understand it when a Daddy won't give them a present or card for Xmas, it will hurt their little feelings.

Meh, good riddance to him. Fresh new start in the new year for us and CSA have the forms for him so he can just pay up and disappear now.


Merry Christmas to all by the way! LOL

Aww Dez this giy is an arse. Your good even bothering with him. Hes got no family ph woe me. You just wanna slap these people. Its nice you sent a message to him because at least when your LO is older you can say at least I tried. X

 

[Shezza84uk]

I had a great day with the kids at my mums, and shocking to say but FOB called me on Christmas eve and came to see the kids he dosmt celebrate Christmas but for the first time in DD's 5yrs he got her a gift AND I got one too!!

He is now coming over today (boxing day) to play with her new toys with her apparently he's waiting for DS to get older so they can have male bonding..

All too strange to take in all at once

 

[Jennifurball]

I had a pretty good day too, I was a bit down and quiet when family first arrived but then spending time with people who love me and care for me and Scarlett, made me realise, nah don't bother thinking of him.

He text me though Xmas morning asking if he could **** my brains out.

I just text him to thank him for what he bought Scarlett then I get that, talk about head f**k.

 

[teal]

This is my third Christmas as a single mother and it honestly doesn't bother me. I see it as I get to enjoy it with my little man all to myself. Although I can appreciate my situation is a bit different since I have absolutely no contact with my ex to the extent that he's never met my son.

 

[lemontree12]

This is my third Christmas as a single mother and it honestly doesn't bother me. I see it as I get to enjoy it with my little man all to myself. Although I can appreciate my situation is a bit different since I have absolutely no contact with my ex to the extent that he's never met my son.

this is the same as me teal and i feel it helps