Single Mums?

[scared1]

Hey,

Some of you may have read my post in the 1st trimester bit basically my OH of 1.5 years wants me to abort our baby and it just doesn't sit right with me, yes it was a mistake but i don't think i could live with myself knowing i killed the one thing i want more than anything in the world, it can't have come at a worse time, i'm temping and the job looks like its coming to an end, i have a mortagage, no savings and now he is saying if i keep it he will leave.

Well my question is - how have you all coped? have any of you got a mortagage? what state help could i get? i have worked from 14 and i'm very independant but i just can't see how i can do this on my own without some sort of financial help

 

[Charlotte-j]

just wondering where are u from uk, or us or sumwhere else?

 

[scared1]

I'm from the UK

 

[Serene123]

Unless you have a mortgage before I don't think you'll get one.

 

[aurora32]

If you are in the UK sweetie, you may be able to get help with paying for your mortgage like you get with council rents contact dept of work and pensions, benefits agency and see if you qualify, you will get your child benefit, child tax credits, if you are working up to 16 hours or not at all you will be entitled to income support if you are on your own, possibly working tax credits if working, and if on low income a sure start maternity grant of up to £500. Phone your local DWP and ask their advice as if you were a single mum and see just what you would be entitled too hunn.

 

[Charlotte-j]

if u cant work, u can get income support. or job seekers allowance till u find a job. some job centres can give u a crisis loan if u qualify and u can pay all ur debts then they take an amount out your benefits till its paid back.
u can apply for a sure start grant for £500 but dont think u get that till near the end of pregnancy, and if u need help with housing etc your local council should help u out with that.

 

[scared1]

Thanks ladies - i will speak to the DWP i have a mortgage but as i'm a secretary temping at the moment i have to work 50 hours a week to be able to cover everything -really don't want to loose my flat

 

[Serene123]

They paid my mums mortgage when my dad left.

 

[PeanutBean]

Like the others have said there are people you can talk to about what financial help you are entitled to. Have you any family who can help support you? If you want the baby I would certainly not advise an abortion on the basis of whether or not you can manage. From his ultimatum it sounds like your OH has already talked himself out of the picture. I hope you can get enough help, good luck!

 

[carries]

Maybe speak to your mortgage lender about going interest only for a while? Deffo speak to the DWP you will be entitled to help either by tax credits of income support Good luck

 

[cuddles314]

If you are on benefits or very low income you can get interest on mortgage paid by housing benefit, but be aware that this only applies after a period of about 26 weeks! You can also claim council tax benefit, income support, child tax credit, child benefit, and working tax credit if you remain employed.
I reccommend you contact your local welfare rights office, you should be able to get the number from your local council.
Good luck hun.
xxx

 

[Blah11]

Hm it's his child at the end of the day and if he helped to make the baby he has to provide (atleast financially) for it whether he wants to abort the baby or not. It's your choice really, not his.

 

[6lilpigs]

If you are on benefits or very low income you can get interest on mortgage paid by housing benefit, but be aware that this only applies after a period of about 26 weeks! You can also claim council tax benefit, income support, child tax credit, child benefit, and working tax credit if you remain employed.
I reccommend you contact your local welfare rights office, you should be able to get the number from your local council.
Good luck hun.
xxx

I think you may even possibly find that if he walks out they step in straight away to help with the mortgage payments. Its definately worth calling the DWP and hearing all your options. You and baby will manage just fine.

 

[helen1234]

1st of all let him walk don't worry bout him get yourself sorted 1st, he's just selfish.

you can still work and you don't have to tell them in interviews at this stage be selfish and plead ignorance when you do tell them it'll bide you a few more weeks of finances, and they cant sack you.

speak to your mortgage people be honest with them they'll try and help, if you can get yourself less than one months payment they'll get off your back even if its a penny. speak to cab your not the first this has happened to and won't be the last, it may seem the end of the world at times but you'll get through it.
i left my ex when i was 18 cos i just couldnt forgive for banging on about abortions in the beginning along with other stuff. once you've seen your midwife explain to her whats happened and they have special key workers to help especially in this area, i didnt know this till a few weeks ago, apparently it like 1 in 4 relationships break up when pregnant so the government is helping with situations like this all to do with domestic violence and although its not physical he's mentally abusing you,
i don't know the exact answers but there are alot of people and organisations to help.
don't let him bully you
xx

 

[14_pregnant]

What about your parents? Right now, though my mom does not approve of my decision to keep my baby and offers little oral support, she helps to pay for all of the expenses coming with pregnancy. Now, I'm only 14, so going to my mom for money isn't such a big deal. But if worst comes to worst, most of the time parents are there to help.

 

[HatterasSarah]

Good Luck hun. I know you're in a really tough position...but I have faith that you will do the right thing. You may love your OH, but the love you have for him doesn't even compare to the love you'll have for your child.