Lilliez were you close to your sister before? I am really sorry she has been so insensitive and is now saying she is upset with you. That's not fair at all.
I know it didn't work out so well this time, but I think you should try talking to her again. Did you plan what you were going to say before you rang her? I would suggest maybe, next time you get in touch to write notes on what you want to say. Personally I find that my brain turns to mush when a conversation gets heated and I always come away annoyed I didn't say the things I meant to say in the first place. So perhaps even a letter or email would be better? I'm sure you don't feel like getting in touch right now, but when you do it might help to plan or write things down. And then if she just acts in the same way again, I think you can walk away knowing that you tried everything you could and you were the mature one in this situation.
Unfortunately, people just don't know how to deal with things like miscarriage. Often their way is to avoid it entirely or find a way to push things back onto you. I can't tell you how many times I was told to "cheer up" or if I tried to talk about my losses, people would just change the subject and ramble on about 'funny' things in an attempt to make me laugh. And then when some people around me fell pregnant, they avoided me. I can see that they wouldn't have wanted to upset me, but also I do believe a part of them just didn't want to be with me because I was a reminder of what could go wrong.
I think Wookie has a great suggestion re therapy and groups. If you can find people who understand, it will help you so much x
I know it didn't work out so well this time, but I think you should try talking to her again. Did you plan what you were going to say before you rang her? I would suggest maybe, next time you get in touch to write notes on what you want to say. Personally I find that my brain turns to mush when a conversation gets heated and I always come away annoyed I didn't say the things I meant to say in the first place. So perhaps even a letter or email would be better? I'm sure you don't feel like getting in touch right now, but when you do it might help to plan or write things down. And then if she just acts in the same way again, I think you can walk away knowing that you tried everything you could and you were the mature one in this situation.
Unfortunately, people just don't know how to deal with things like miscarriage. Often their way is to avoid it entirely or find a way to push things back onto you. I can't tell you how many times I was told to "cheer up" or if I tried to talk about my losses, people would just change the subject and ramble on about 'funny' things in an attempt to make me laugh. And then when some people around me fell pregnant, they avoided me. I can see that they wouldn't have wanted to upset me, but also I do believe a part of them just didn't want to be with me because I was a reminder of what could go wrong.
I think Wookie has a great suggestion re therapy and groups. If you can find people who understand, it will help you so much x
