Sleep troubles (Cosleeper moms?)

[Megandelv88]

So for about the past week and a half, our babes has been very dependent on us for sleeping. Hes 5 1/2 months. Just two weeks ago, he knew his bed time was 7-8p and was basically falling asleep before he even had his bed time feed. We'd feed in the living room as I always have and when he fell asleep, we'd move him into his pack n play in our room. He was like a brick when moving. He was also doing well for naps. He'd wake between 2-3a for his night feed which at that point we brought him into our bed, he ate and I basically slept. Worked for all of us and allowed extra sleep for everyone. Now, when I nurse him to sleep and we try to move him, hes the lightest sleeper ever and we can't put him down. It's basically a game of luck as to whether or not he will make it and stay asleep. If he does make it, he only sleeps for 1hr to 1.5 hours and wakes crying. He won't go back to sleep with gentle pats or rubbing of the back, nothing of the sort. My husband always has to pick him up and hes back to sleep in seconds. But he knows and is instantly awake if you try to put him back down. This cycle can repeat several times. You think hes totally asleep so you put him down but he knows and wakes right up. We've attempted things like "put him down drowsy", doesn't work. He could be so ready to pass out, you put him in and hes instantly awake. Maybe something about the way it feels to go down? Gravity working against us? Anyhow, since these troubles, when he wakes after that 1-1.5hr mark, my husband tries to get him into a deep sleep before putting him back in. Rarely works but we try. When all else fails, which seems to be our route lately, hes in our bed. And he wants boobs all night long. He wakes up and has full boob access. I've been letting him have what he wants but what I really want to know is have people done this cosleeping and unlimited access successfully and not have bad habits develop? Ofcourse id love for him to be in his own bed, but this is the only way we get sleep and I know a lot of people do it. I just want to make sure that if I stop stressing the sleep situation, will everything be okay a few months from now? Will he transition to his own bed? Or am I creating bad habits? At first we thought he was hitting his 4 month regression a little late but I'm not so sure. His sleeping issues are very repetitive every night, just seems weird. He still naps, sometimes well, sometimes not. Hes always napped while being held but can go to sleep without nursing like with his sitter or with his dad. He simply can not be put down and fall asleep, I've tried and i wish that worked. Anyway, cosleeping feedback or any feedback appreciated.

 

[minties]

Babies sleep changes a lot at 5 months, I don't quite recall what about it changes though off the top of my head. I do remember reading about it when my middle child was about 5 months old.

Emma started sleeping worse smack bang on 5 months. She was sleeping through the night before then, 80% of the time. She sleeps in bed with me and wakes generally 3-5 times a night and nurses each time.

They do grow out of it, but sleep seems pretty messy for lots of babies between 4-10 months - maybe not for the entire time, but it has it's ups and downs as their sleep patterns turn more like adult patterns.

Nothing I have ever done with my older kids during the night or periods of poor sleep has ever become a habit.

Attending the needs of baby is a good habit anyway I say! We are so far removed from our instincts in western societies.

 

[MindUtopia]

I would just keep doing what you're doing and get yourselves some sleep. This will likely pass. I found the time around 5-5.5 months was really tricky for sleep because our daughter at that time was learning to roll from front to back. Any sort of developmental milestone will do this as they wake from sleep wanting to practice that skill and their brains are on overdrive and just can't settle. We also had much the same around 6-6.5 months when we started solids and while she was teething, but for slightly different reasons (because she was uncomfortable). It's a little different because we never slept separately, always bedshared from birth until she decided on her own to sleep separately from us as a toddler, but no, it never created any 'bad habits'. When whatever phase passed, things settled down again. She dropped all night feeds on her own (while continuing to bed share) at 9 months. For us, it worked and we all got more sleep. I think if it's working, keep doing it. You can stress about bad habits and try to fight it and struggle on little sleep, or you can go with it and don't stress about it. Maybe you will develop a pattern that you eventually want to change (maybe you call this a 'bad habit'), in which case, then you might lose the same about of sleep later on, but you might not. I'd rather take the risk that I might lose a little sleep in the future (but maybe not) rather than stress in the present and force us all to lose sleep to prevent some mythical 'bad habit' from developing that might never develop. I think do what works now and if it stops working one day in the future then you can worry about changing it then, but I wouldn't worry about something that may never happen. That was our approach and it worked great for us.

 

[Megandelv88]

Thanks so much. I agree about the bad habit thing not actually being true but I just wanted to hear from othersomeone who may agree. Its nice to hear your babes did all these things on their own. I enjoy our current arrangements and we still follow our normal routine, just when it doesn't work, it doesn't work. And im just waiting for the one day it works again.

 

[Willow82]

We co-slept for some of the night (from anywhere between 2-4am) from when DD was 3 months up to around 13 months. Before that I had been reluctant to co-sleep and she wouldn't go in her Moses basket at any point so me and OH took shifts staying up with her. When
she was teething her molars, she was in our bed all night and i honestly thought she would never go back in her cot. After they were through, we went back to partially co-sleeping but then she started to get annoyed in the bed after a while and would then settle back in her cot. She never comes in the bed now. We didn't force her, she decided for herself. When they're ready, they will go in their own bed.

 

[gingmg]

Another cosleeper here! I remember feeling stressed too when people would talk about 'bad habits' but my instincts always said to respond, so I did. My son was a tough infant, woke a lot, nursed a lot, just unsettled really, cosleeping and night nursing was the only way we survived! It didn't last forever though, he sleeps great now without needing to nurse to sleep or nurse back to sleep. Follow your instincts mama, do what feels right and ignore anyone who tries to tell you otherwise. If this stops working for you, you'll know that too.

 

[marmoset]

Cosleeper here, baby boy slept in bed with me and DH from a few weeks old until ~6 months when he started to army crawl and we got worried about him falling off. He's 8 months now, he and I sleep on a double size mattress on the floor in his room, and DH sleeps in our bed. LO wakes every few hours (though usually sleeps about midnight-6am without waking), half the time he has a feed and half the time both a feed and a potty (we do elimination communication and DH does the night pottying, I just call out for him when I think LO needs it).

Sometimes I get frustrated that I never get any alone time to sleep (LO nurses to sleep and wakes within minutes if I sneak away), but on the other hand I know this won't last forever and once it's over I'm sure I'll miss it. I'm not sure if we'll have more so this really might be once in a lifetime. I'm back at work as well as of 3 weeks ago so he's not nursing much during the day but still taking those good feeds overnight so I still feel that's important.

I do get tired and frustrated and sometimes feel trapped, but I get through it, and will keep getting through it until it's time for a change. I believe in your instincts!