Sleep

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by Layla, May 14, 2007.

  1. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    Hi guys,

    Need your views on something please.

    Coby will not have a set bedtime, he goes to sleep between 9 and 10pm down stairs, then we have to carry him up to bed.
    If he goes to bed eariler, then he is more likely to wake up in the night, he has so much energy that he doesnt sleep for long.

    Im thinking now that i really need to do something about it, but im not sure what, We have tried the put him in his cot and leave him thing, then go back every fe mins to reasure him, but he gets so hot that he is sick then cant breathe, i hate leaving him like that.

    So i thought maybe wait untill he is older, he will hopefuly understand more then that he needs to lay down in bed and go to sleep, but that means letting him have his own way untill he is prob about 2 - 2 an half ish.

    I really dont know whcih way to play this, any advice?

    xx
     
  2. Tezzy

    Tezzy Mum of 2 TTCAL

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    i know rhys is only 5 months but we have a bedtime routine with him of having a bath then a quiet snuggle time on the couch without any toys etc to get him chilled out then he has a bottle and falls asleep... maybe you could try something like this to get coby calmed and relaxed before you put him in his cot??
     
  3. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    we have tried all that, he doesnt sit still long enough to relax, if anything after a bath he is more awake.

    I should of done all this from day 1, i did with Charlie and Ethan so i dont know why i didnt do it with Coby. He is very active and stuborn so its hard to enforce any type of rules with him.

    x
     
  4. Lauz_1601

    Lauz_1601 Well-Known Member

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    does he like to be read stories ? try and lie him in his cot with a dim light on, give him his bottle and quietly read him a story, then turn the ligh off, If you think he will cry when you leave the room, then sit on a chair in his room, dont talk to him, or look at him. If this works then the next night move the chair further away from him each night, until he will sleep without you in the room. good luck x
     
  5. Imi

    Imi .

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    We do the back to bed thing ...

    She makes herself sick but we calm her and do it again ...

    lala sleeps eventually we only have to do this sometimes though as she does go bed

    xxx
     
  6. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    he doesnt really let you read him storys, he wont sit still long enough, he isnt in to tv either so we cant sit him down in front of that to relax him.

    If i put him in his cot he will scream right away, even if im standing right next to him.

    xx
     
  7. rusks

    rusks Member

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    its really difficult, it would be handy for you to be in a routine before the new baby comes but its not easy, i'm not one of these that is strong enough to let them cry for long but this is something that maybe you need to do. good luck though xx:hugs:
     
  8. stacdani

    stacdani Member

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    i have a sleep problem, slightly different from yours layla.

    Danielle goes to bed and falls asleep herself but she will not sleep through, doesn`t matter what i do, sometimes she doesn`t wake till 5am but most nights its about 2am. she crys until i go in (if i leave her she wakes up completely) if i catch her early enough i can settle her in her own bed but if she is too worked up i end up taking to bed with me....... yeah i know its wrong and i should be more assertful but its hard cos i`m so tired.

    we did have the problem of getting her to settle herself (appox 12 months old) but the health visitor said i should nip it in the bud then, so i tried the controlled crying which was so hard but did after 2 nights payoff. we still have our bad nights where she gets upset but most nights she goes to bed good as gold.

    Not sure what to suggest for you really, just wanted you too know your not alone :hugs:
     
  9. LynnieH

    LynnieH Well-Known Member

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    I really advocate the controlled crying. Jonny was a nightmare and used to wake and cry until we brought him in bed with us. We waited until the summer holidays when I was off school and less tired but it only took three nights of perseverance and he was sorted.
     
  10. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

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    I had a right issue with Seren, she would never go to bed (until about 10-11pm) and would wake all the time. I am not a fan of controlled crying so what we did was do a routine with her, i.e. bath, warm milk, teeth brushed then out her in her cot and I would put her rock lullaby's CD on. It took a while, would have to keep lying her down, patting her back etc but it did work. In 2 weeks we went from sitting with her for 30 mins to her lying down staright away and going to sleep. Now she is in bed for 8pm at the latest, goes in awake, just falls asleep on her own and sleeps right through. The CD just lets her know that its time for sleep and it seems to do the trick.

    Good luck with whatever you try.
     
  11. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for you replies guys,

    Beanie, did Seren cry alot while you were laying her down and patting her back? did you find it hard to do it?

    x
     
  12. Lauz_1601

    Lauz_1601 Well-Known Member

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    sounds like the only solution would be controlled crying. he needs to know that your not going to take this from him anymore, i had this phase and had to do itwith Ella and it was the hardest thing Iv ever done, but you have to be strong and once you've left him crying, for 10 minutes, if you go back and get him thats 10 minutes wasted, he will think if I cry long enough mummy will come and get me. it really is soooo hard, but it really works, after 3 nights Ella was going down without a peep, so for the sake of 3 nights of screaming it was worth it. maybe try it agin, you and Jase both agree your going to do it and stick to it ?
     
  13. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    yeah i think its something i have will have consider, altho im really worried about it, i hate leaving babys to cry :(

    I will talk to Jase later and see what he thinks

    x
     
  14. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

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    Yeah she did at fiorst. In fact she would really scream - so I just kept going sh sh and rubbing her back or just sitting by her cot until she stopped. I never said anyhting else to her, just kept the room quiet and dark and eventually she would stop. The as the nights went on she would cry for less and less then stopped the crying altogether. It was hard to do, it was very frustrating at times but it was worth it. I personally don't believe in controlled crying and its not something I can do, and this way I felt as though I was helping her to learn to sleep (if that makes any sense), though I appreciate other people do believe in cc.

    I don't think controlled crying is the only answer if it is something you feel that you don't want to do. Google no cry sleep solutions for tips :)
     
  15. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    oo ok im confused now..

    I thought what you did with Seren was controlled crying, what you just explained is what i thought it was in my head. thats what i was going to try with Coby, let him cry, but either stay with him untill he sleeps or go back in the room every few mins? are they both different things then?

    Was going to try it tonight, i planned to stay in the room with him but just let him cry (god that sounds horrible) but before i had the chance he climed on my lap at 7.45 and went to sleep!

    x
     
  16. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

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    Controlled crying was advocated bt Dr Feber.

    the time you leave starts at a few mins then is increased
    i.e.
     
  17. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

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    Forgot to say (after such a long post lol) that I think of leaving a child to cry as leaving the room, not staying in with them. Seren was not left, I was continuously sh shing her or rubbing her back, she was just losing her temper with me as I wasn't picking her up but she would stop and eventually fell asleep. The CD also helped. I can remember me and Pete taking it in turns to spend 15 mins with her, as it was taking a while but it honestly got better. It has been like having a new baby, she sleeps so well, and she was never a good sleeper!!

    If you want to try controlled crying then Coby is old enough. I just really really would advise against it for a young child, they don't have any sense of object permanence before 8 months and do not understand that if you leave the room you will come back. They just see it as you have gone.

    Need to borrow Cats signature I think
     
  18. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the info Beanie :)

    I am defo going to try it but stay in the room with him, i really hate the thought of walking away and leaving him to cry, even if i am im only on the other side of the door. Its going to be so hard coz i hate seeing him cry, im a big softy when it comes to that, but i will give it ago.

    Last night we went to bed early himself but then woke up at 1 and wouldnt go back to sleep, so i ended up putting him in with us just so i could get some rest, not a very good idea i know :( but im so shattered at the mo, and it was my night last night, not Jases

    x
     
  19. Dionne

    Dionne Well-Known Member

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    my two have always been great sleepers, no problems but the last 3months Dior has turned into a nightmare.

    she was poorly a whil;e back so i kept her up late with me had cuddles munches and watched films till about 11pm at night since then she just screams and scream to come down stairs.

    its soooo frustrating i dojnt mind leavging her to scream it out as she is more then old anough to understand. but she wakes Harley by head butting th wall.

    so io have now stopped all her napping in the day so by 6.30pm she is soooo tired she is begging for bed.

    i really feel for you hun its so stressfull

    i have seen the "pick up put down routine" on the tv it seems to work great

    when they start to svcrem pick them up dont giggle them or sock them just love them dsay "mummy is here"
    then as soon as they stop crying they go back into the cot. let them cry a little while your there then when they are real upset do the same again.

    it takes a while but they soon realise you are always going to be there then they drop off

    but i have heard that leaving a small child to cry will break the "mother child bond" as they loose all trust in the mummy, i imagine this is true too as they will foprever worry if your going to come back
     
  20. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    but i have heard that leaving a small child to cry will break the "mother child bond" as they loose all trust in the mummy, i imagine this is true too as they will foprever worry if your going to come back

    yeah this is why i dont want to leave him, im very close to all my kids so i dont want to do anything that might make him feel insecure.
    Sat here thinking back it, its strange coz his sleep patteren has almost become the norm for us now, we work everything around him and dont really mona about it, its only coz im pregnant again that i have started to think, maybe i should start taking action.

    Im such a soft touch tho, any of my kids only have to give me the puppy eyes and i give in! lol

    I will be strong! :roll:

    xx
     

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