katherinegrey
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I feel awful for even posting here. I couldn't feel like a more terrible person then I already do, but I'm so upset that this baby is a boy. I was so, so, so hoping for a girl. We tried for 9 months for this baby, and in that time I never once thought I'd have a preference over sex. It was when I fell pregnant that I realised how much I wanted a girl. I browsed girls clothes, we'd chosen a girls name, my sister even bought me a pink moses basket, so it wasn't even just me that wanted this baby to be a girl, my sister, my mother and my best friend all told me how much they hoped it was a girl. It isn't. It's a boy. I cried when we left the scan, my fiancé is over the moon, but having to tell all the people who wanted it to be a girl that it isn't was so hard to do, I felt like I was disappointing everyone. I could picture our daughter in my head crystal clear, I have an excellent relationship with my own mother, and I wanted that mother/daughter bond for myself. I feel like I've lost this little girl forever.
This pregnancy has been tough on me, I've been sick constantly, I've lost so much weight I'm now medically underweight, I have headaches all the time and my emotions are totally out of control. I'm not sure I ever want another child because of how much of a toll pregnancy has taken on me, and I think it's selfish to try for another baby when I wouldn't be wanting another baby...I'd be wanting a girl. I couldn't face the disappointment of having another boy again, and I wouldn't want to feel that way about my own baby again.
I feel like the worst mother in the world. I am absolutely ashamed of myself. To see that baby wriggling around looking strong and healthy on the screen should of been such a happy experience, instead I feel upset because it's not my dreamed of daughter. I haven't a clue how to relate to boys, I have no idea how I'm going to bond with my son as he gets older. I feel like this baby isn't really mine now, because I know my DF will be the one to teach him things and do things with him, whilst I'm on the sidelines so to speak. I can't even think of any boys names I like, so I have no idea what I'm going to call him even.
I feel so jealous when I see women announcing they're having girls, or when I see my friends daughters. I just think why not me?
I keep trying to remember that this baby is wanted and loved already, no matter it's gender, and that I'm blessed to ever experience motherhood. I hope considering that I have so much time until the birth, I can truly come around and be happy that I'm having a boy.
I just needed to get this off my chest.
This is what I wrote a week ago when I first found out my baby was a boy. I'm now slowly coming round to the idea that it's a boy. I've bought some blue things to get me used to the idea, and I'm once again starting to get excited about meeting my baby. Today though I have a friend who's only a couple of weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy, and she just found out her baby is a girl. I feel so jealous again. I have 2 friends already with daughters, and I have now two friends expecting daughters. I'm literally the only one expecting a son. It's all girls with my friends, and I'm so, so jealous! How come everyone else seems to get what they want so easily?! I really thought I was getting over my gender preferences, but now I feel a bit like I've been knocked back again.
Sorry this post is sooo long, and if you managed to read some of it, kudos to you! I just needed a bit of a vent.
This pregnancy has been tough on me, I've been sick constantly, I've lost so much weight I'm now medically underweight, I have headaches all the time and my emotions are totally out of control. I'm not sure I ever want another child because of how much of a toll pregnancy has taken on me, and I think it's selfish to try for another baby when I wouldn't be wanting another baby...I'd be wanting a girl. I couldn't face the disappointment of having another boy again, and I wouldn't want to feel that way about my own baby again.
I feel like the worst mother in the world. I am absolutely ashamed of myself. To see that baby wriggling around looking strong and healthy on the screen should of been such a happy experience, instead I feel upset because it's not my dreamed of daughter. I haven't a clue how to relate to boys, I have no idea how I'm going to bond with my son as he gets older. I feel like this baby isn't really mine now, because I know my DF will be the one to teach him things and do things with him, whilst I'm on the sidelines so to speak. I can't even think of any boys names I like, so I have no idea what I'm going to call him even.
I feel so jealous when I see women announcing they're having girls, or when I see my friends daughters. I just think why not me?
I keep trying to remember that this baby is wanted and loved already, no matter it's gender, and that I'm blessed to ever experience motherhood. I hope considering that I have so much time until the birth, I can truly come around and be happy that I'm having a boy.
I just needed to get this off my chest.
This is what I wrote a week ago when I first found out my baby was a boy. I'm now slowly coming round to the idea that it's a boy. I've bought some blue things to get me used to the idea, and I'm once again starting to get excited about meeting my baby. Today though I have a friend who's only a couple of weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy, and she just found out her baby is a girl. I feel so jealous again. I have 2 friends already with daughters, and I have now two friends expecting daughters. I'm literally the only one expecting a son. It's all girls with my friends, and I'm so, so jealous! How come everyone else seems to get what they want so easily?! I really thought I was getting over my gender preferences, but now I feel a bit like I've been knocked back again.
Sorry this post is sooo long, and if you managed to read some of it, kudos to you! I just needed a bit of a vent.