Sneaking back in...

[MrsBeany85]

I've kind of been keeping off here for a while because we've been trying to ttc for a while no with no luck so far. Sometimes I find it hard not to obsess over it so I took a break from the forums for a while.

So we've decided to give opks and Pregnacare his and her conception tablets a try for the first time and see how we get on. I'm trying to stay relaxed about it all but I'm not sure how well it's going! Keeping my fingers crossed...

 

[2ducks]

Hello, welcome back! Many of us use OPKs so you are in good company. I am going on month 15 ttc, I never thought it would take this long but here I am still chugging away at it.

You are definitely among friends here! How long have you been ttc?

 

[MrsBeany85]

Thank you 2ducks! It's nice to hear from people in the same boat as us.

We've been ntnp/ttc since Feb 2015 and it's been a loooong few months! It's always been in the back of my mind it wouldn't be quick for me (women in my family seem to be unlucky with fertility!) but I guess I thought it would've happened by now!

 

[2ducks]

I never thought it would take this long. There are days when I feel like it just won't happen plus i am sooooo tired of temping/charting/OPKing/checking CM etc. I have to take clomid to ovulate so I do all of the above to maximize my chances at conception. If anyone ever tells me to "relax it will happen" will probably punch them in the head because relaxing doesn't help me ovulate, only medication does! This time last summer I thought for sure I would have a baby in my arms, but alas...I just try to keep a positive attitude and keep on going with life.

 

[MrsBeany85]

It gets so frustrating when people give their advice! I know they mean well but most people just don't understand unless they've been there. My sister had 4 rounds of IVF that resulted in two miscarriages and two completely unsuccessful attempts and people kept saying things like "well, maybe this will kick start your body into working normally. I know a woman who had IVF and then got pregnant naturally". I wanted to scream at them that that would never happen for her! DH and I have agreed that we'll try using opks and a bit more "active trying" for a few months and if there's still nothing happening we'll go to the docs.

I'm not scared of going, just a bit scared that I might get a result I don't want to hear,if that makes sense?

 

[2ducks]

That makes sense. I am not scared to go to an RE just scared that they are going to say I need to jump to IVF and IUIs. Currently I am taking Clomid with my OBGYN. I would love to go to an RE but my insurance covers nothing. I am so worried that something more serious is wrong that I will need an RE's help with but I know I will be paying out of pocket. I was re-reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility today in my hammock and it gave me severe anxiety. What if I need IUI or IVF? I live in a small state. I am not kidding when I say there are two private fertility clinics and only two hospitals in the whole fricken state have REs. The closest is 1.5 hours from my house and about 2 hours from my new job. How the hell am I going to be able to do IUIs/IVF plus all of the monitoring that goes with it with a two hour commute??? Needless to say I am feeling anxious.

I don't share our ttc troubles with anyone because I don't want any unsolicited advice. My partner told one of his childhood nest friend that we were having trouble ttc and he said "just keep dumping it in her"..um thanks for the sage advice! Your poor sister, did she ever have a baby? I really hate to hear when good people can't conceive, it breaks my heart...

 

[MrsBeany85]

It's bad enough for us getting things paid for by the NHS, I can't imagine how much more stressful it must be for you having to think about what your insurance covers too. I can totally understand your anxiety. I would say try not to worry but I know that's not helpful as I'm a worrier too!

No, my sister never did have a successful pregnancy, but she and her DH have now adopted an adorable little boy. He's so lovable and I feel so protective of him, it doesn't feel as though he's not a blood relation. It kind of made me and DH realise that we'd be more than happy to go down the adoption route if it comes to it.

 

[BelleNuit]

Hey ladies, I haven't been trying nearly as long as you two but I'm having a hard time with it. I'm on cycle 9 now and kind of feel like I'm in no man's land. It's been longer than what's considered truly "normal" (over 80% of women would be pregnant by now) but not long enough to get testing done.

I worry it will never happen and we will be facing IUI/IVF or adoption, but then I feel like those worries aren't legitimate because it hasn't been long enough to truly worry about it.

It just sucks. I always thought I would be a mother one day. It wasn't even a question. Now I worry it may not happen for me at all

 

[MrsBeany85]

That's exactly it Bellenuit. All I ever wanted when I was younger was to have a happy little family, it never crossed my mind that it might be difficult, let alone might not even be possible. What frustrates me is that there are two women I work with who got pregnant last year for the first time, both over 40 and neither of them wanted to be pregnant. Don't get me wrong, they love their babies, but one in particular (she's actually quite a good friend of mine) kept saying how unlucky she was and how she wished she could just have her life back. Even now, her baby is 8 months old, she says if she could go back she wouldn't do it. I just wanted to cry when she was saying stuff like that. I would have been over the moon to be in her shoes!!!

OK, I'll stop sounding like a bitter old cow now!!

 

[BelleNuit]

It drives me nuts to hear people complaining about their kids or complaining about being pregnant!

My dad and step mom got pregnant by accident, he was 41 and she was 38 (I had very young parents).

Like WTF!!!! Lol Here I am young and healthy and trying
.... and trying.... and trying...

so I haven't told my family we are trying because they would have NO CLUE what that's like! Babies just seem to happen in my family

 

[WishnandHopn]

Hey ladies, I haven't been trying nearly as long as you two but I'm having a hard time with it. I'm on cycle 9 now and kind of feel like I'm in no man's land. It's been longer than what's considered truly "normal" (over 80% of women would be pregnant by now) but not long enough to get testing done.

I worry it will never happen and we will be facing IUI/IVF or adoption, but then I feel like those worries aren't legitimate because it hasn't been long enough to truly worry about it.

It just sucks. I always thought I would be a mother one day. It wasn't even a question. Now I worry it may not happen for me at all

I'm right there with you...I go between being hopeful and telling myself it hasn't been that long and it will happen eventually...and then feeling completely hopeless and that we will never get pregnant. Since I'm over 35 and we've been trying for more than 6 months we qualify for a referral to a fertility specialist. I going to ask my doctor for it when I see him one week from today... I'm pretty freaked out to go down that road.

I did the math and figured out that my parents conceived me (their first) 1 year and 7 months after they got married. Same with DH's parents. So 7 months TTC isn't that long (or so I tell myself).

 

[MrsBeany85]

It's just so frustrating when you're waiting and you don't really know what's going to happen! And I don't think it matters how long it takes, when it's something you want so badly and it doesn't seem to be happening it just feels like forever

 

[BelleNuit]

Wishn I be freaked out to get testing done too! We are under 35 so are going to wait a bit longer. If I'm not pregnant by the end of September then we'll go.

DH and I have been making a ton of lifestyle changes, but it can take some time for those to have an effect!

I hope your testing goes well. I know some ladies who went on meds and got a bfp right away, so some of the more invasive testing didn't need to be done

Mrs.Beany I think you are totally right. The worst part of ttc is that you don't know how long you will be in it for. Once you are on the other side and have a bfp it must be easier to look back on it all

 

[WishnandHopn]

Thanks Belle. I am trying to mentally prepare myself for the testing. I have a fairly regular cycle and I ovulate on my own so I'm not sure what the 'easier' less invasive things like clomid or femara could do for me. But I guess they can improve egg quality or 'weak' ovulation, right? My worst fear is that both my tubes are blocked and we have to go straight to IVF. Although the success rates for IVF are generally much better than IUI, so maybe that wouldn't be the end of the world.

The waiting...the what ifs....sure wish I had a crystal ball!

 

[MrsBeany85]

I'm with you on that Wishn. I've said so many times to DH that if I knew we definitely could conceive then I wouldn't worry so much about when (yeah right, who am I kidding!) because I knew it would happen! I've also talked myself out of taking pregnancy tests on a few occasions because I just can't face being told "no" over and over again. I think ttc is making me a little bit crazy!

 

[BelleNuit]

There is no way we could afford IVF, so that's my worst fear. I'm not sure I want to adopt although I know it's a great option for many! I'm just not at a place yet where I can give up wanting a biological child. So knowing that, it wouldn't be right to pursue adoption right now. I would have to make peace with myself first

But Wishn I know there are meds like metformin that are given to stabilize hormones and some people are low on progesterone which can make it hard to get/keep a pregnancy and there are things you can take for that! So it's not just egg quality they would look at

But I hear your frustration, I O regularly and have very regular cycles (albeit on the shorter side 25-27 days). So I wonder why it hasn't happened yet

 

[BelleNuit]

I'm with you on that Wishn. I've said so many times to DH that if I knew we definitely could conceive then I wouldn't worry so much about when (yeah right, who am I kidding!) because I knew it would happen! I've also talked myself out of taking pregnancy tests on a few occasions because I just can't face being told "no" over and over again. I think ttc is making me a little bit crazy!

So true!!! I can't stand taking pregnancy tests! I've promised myself not to take another until AF is late because I can't handle the disappointment.

I also would feel better knowing i would have a positive outcome eventually

 

[MrsBeany85]

I'm not sure I'll ever really be able to give up on the idea that I might get pregnant, as stupid as it sounds, I think even if I had a total hysterectomy I'd still be thinking "well, what if..."! Although if (when, think positive!) I do ever get pregnant I'm not sure I'll believe that either

 

[BelleNuit]

MrsBean I'm not sure I'll believe a positive pregnancy test either.

It seems so unattainable right now. Like all the women in my life get to be part of this secret club and I don't get to join.

A friend of mine (who doesn't know we're trying) just posted some obnoxious posts on my Facebook page about how it's time for me to start trying for a baby. My cousin also just have birth to her beautiful baby boy today. So that post from my friend stings doubly hard.

 

[MKaykes]

Hi ladies, it is always helpful to read other people's stories. I've been off bc for 18 months, though have been ntnp for the last 6 months. The stress was getting to be too much, and I'm back in school graduating next May so took a bit of a break and after one month of avoiding the "fertile" week realized I shouldn't take away any chances!

We actually have an appt with an OB/GYN who specializes in infertility...I'm really hoping it is something "simple" that we can fix with diet, supplements or even medication.

I've always thought I would lean more towards adoption than IVF, but after realizing the costs here are similar, and IVF is at least partially covered by insurance financially that may be a better way to go. Though, getting ahead of myself even thinking about it, but how can I not?

Baby dust to you each of you, stay positive!