Sneaking back in...

[WishnandHopn]

Oh ugh like she wrote that publicly on your wall? That's brutal. Why do people have to be so insensitive?

When I hear of women who keep their BFP secret from their dh for a few days, I'm like no way. When I get mine I'm sure I will scream or cry or puke...no chance of keeping it a secret from him!

 

[BelleNuit]

Ya, she wrote it publicly on my wall and tagged DH in it as well. It made me feel completely horrible.

And I'm right with you, NO WAY could I keep it a secret from DH! lol. I'm not sure what I would do if I got a BFP, probably just cry unconsollably lol.

Welcome MK! I'm not sure how you manage to NTNP, I'm way too type A for that! Will they really start fertility testing after 6 months of ntnp?

 

[WishnandHopn]

I also don't think I could Ntnp...even with no temping or OPKs this cycle I'm so hyper aware of fertile signs and where I am in my cycle.

Good luck with your appt MK! I hope it turns out to be an easy fix for you! I feel like an ob/gyn is more likely to exhaust all medications and less invasive options first...whereas a fertility specialist might get into the invasive stuff sooner since that's the money maker for them. Wow...how cynical am I!

 

[BelleNuit]

There are long wait times to see a fertility specialist where I live. 6 months seems to be the standard wait from when you are first referred, but if you are in your 20s it can take up to a year from referral to first appt. I guess they figure you have more time.

I found that very disheartening.

I feel incredibly anxious that this won't happen for me. I keep trying positive affirmations "You will get pregnant, you are fertile," etc. etc.

But in all honesty I am freaking out. Completely.

 

[MrsBeany85]

I have the way people feel it's OK for them to comment on your private life and expect you not to react. DH and I get questioned all the time about when we're going to start having kids and some people get the hint when we try to change the subject, but others just keep pressing it until I'm about ready to poke them in the eye!

If I ever get a bfp I like to think I'll come up with a really cute way to tell our family and friends (DH will know straight away) but I'm pretty sure I'll just cry and blurt it out in a very un-cute way!

 

[BelleNuit]

Well, I had a bit of a temp shift, so I think I may have O'd yesterday (or possibly will today as I expect my temp will jump again tomorrow).

I'm not sure what to mark as my CD 1 as AF started in the evening. So I could be either CD 11 or 12 today, which puts O at either 10 or 11. I worry that is too early for an egg to be fully matured and for a lining to develop thick enough.

I'm still having fertile signs (ewcm and SHOW) so we'll keep BD-ing until those signs are gone.

I had a conception dream last night and knew I was pregnant immediately. I've had positive HPT dreams in the past which obviously amounted to nothing, but never a conception dream. I'm going to hope it is a positive sign, but acknowledge that it is likely just wish fulfillment

 

[WishnandHopn]

It can only be a good sign if your subconscious sleeping mind is hopeful and optimistic! Those positive affirmations might having something to do with it.

I have no idea if it's bad to O early...I did last month and was wondering the same thing. I suppose you could go get a 7 dpo progesterone test done?

 

[BelleNuit]

That's a good way to put it Wishn! My unconscious mind obviously hopes there is a chance! I'll bet it's those positive affirmations like you're saying. They're honestly one of the only things that improve my mood, that and jogging lol.

I was reading that early O can mean low ovarian reserve and high FSH. I had blood tests on CD 2 which came out normal, so I'm not sure if I should worry or not. I've always had cycles on the shorter side, so maybe that's just normal for me?

 

[MrsBeany85]

Keeping my fingers crossed that the dream is a good sign for you Belle!

Not sure what's going on with my cycle right now! I'm pretty sure I started using the opks too early, but with having totally irregular cycles I just didn't want to miss anything. I'm hoping that my body is going to give me some signs of O and I'm not just relying on opks. I normally get what I assume to be O pains and changes in cm, but I'm interested to see if the opks reflect it too.

Just in case, we're getting in some bd whenever we can too!

 

[BelleNuit]

Do you know what CD you're at Mrs Bean?

Im wondering if the EPO I've been taking caused early O? It gave me great ewcm, but I don't want to O any earlier than I already do lol

 

[MrsBeany85]

I'm CD19 (I think) of a cycle that could be anywhere from 38 to 60+ days! I've not tried EPO but I like the thought of using "natural" products. Have you been using it long? How soon did you notice it have an effect? Sorry for lots of questions! I hope it hasn't made you O too early

 

[BelleNuit]

This is my first cycle using EPO and you are only supposed to use it leading up to O. It increased my ewcm SUBSTANTIALLY lol So I noticed an effect right away, but z lot of women say they didn't notice effects till the second cycle

I'm also taking maca which I think smoothed out my temps earlier in my cycle.

I'm not sure if one of those supplements (or maybe the combination?) May have had an impact on my early O.

 

[MrsBeany85]

Ah OK, thanks Belle. I've been reading about maca and wondering about trying that too (my phone just tried to autocorrect it to macaroni, not sure that would have the same effect!). I think this cycle I'm just going to stick to what we're doing and get used to the opks for now. As usual, I'm obsessing everytime I go to the toilet - have I got cm, has it changed, am I getting cramps? Lol

 

[2ducks]

There is no way we could afford IVF, so that's my worst fear. I'm not sure I want to adopt although I know it's a great option for many! I'm just not at a place yet where I can give up wanting a biological child. So knowing that, it wouldn't be right to pursue adoption right now. I would have to make peace with myself first

But Wishn I know there are meds like metformin that are given to stabilize hormones and some people are low on progesterone which can make it hard to get/keep a pregnancy and there are things you can take for that! So it's not just egg quality they would look at

But I hear your frustration, I O regularly and have very regular cycles (albeit on the shorter side 25-27 days). So I wonder why it hasn't happened yet

BelleNuit, there is no way we could afford IVF without taking out a line of credit. It makes me wonder, should we just put that money towards adoption? But like you, I don't want to give up on the idea of having a biological child on my own. And if we adopt will everyone assume that I am baron?

I have a free 30 minute phone consult in a week and a half with a private fertility clinic. I hope that this will point me in a good direction. I will have to drive 1.5 hours to get to a clinic, after reading how many times women go to their clinics for injections, monitoring, IUIs, egg retrieval etc I realize that it will be a huge burden on us to get there.

 

[2ducks]

That's exactly it Bellenuit. All I ever wanted when I was younger was to have a happy little family, it never crossed my mind that it might be difficult, let alone might not even be possible. What frustrates me is that there are two women I work with who got pregnant last year for the first time, both over 40 and neither of them wanted to be pregnant. Don't get me wrong, they love their babies, but one in particular (she's actually quite a good friend of mine) kept saying how unlucky she was and how she wished she could just have her life back. Even now, her baby is 8 months old, she says if she could go back she wouldn't do it. I just wanted to cry when she was saying stuff like that. I would have been over the moon to be in her shoes!!!

OK, I'll stop sounding like a bitter old cow now!!

That is so irritating! Since I started ttc my best friend got pregnant with her first and gave birth. We live in different states, I went to visit her for the weekend and bring her gifts when she was in her third trimester. She literally complained about being pregnant the entire weekend, like not once or twice but ALL the time. She said she hated being pregnant. I was so irritated by the last night I finally said "Let's switch places and I can be 7 months pregnant" and she stopped complaining. Of course she meant nothing offensive but it was hard to hear.

 

[BelleNuit]

2ducks to choose between adoption or IVF would be so difficult. I would be afraid the IVF wouldn't work and then it's money wasted, but the lure to have my own child would be just about irresistible

As for me, my temp dropped a bit today and I got crosshairs for CD 9. I know it REALLY looks like I've O'd but I'm not convinced that I have lol. My post-O temps are usually up around 36.8-9. We will keep up the BD marathon just in case and I will wait and see what my next few temps do.

CD 12-13 is my normal O days, and this wouldn't be the first month that my chart looked like I O'd earlier but didn't

 

[MrsBeany85]

Ah 2ducks, that's so frustrating. I like to think I'm quite a calm and rational person, but when it comes to issues with ttc I turn into a bit of a tiger!

And to have to choose between IVF or adoption is heartbreaking. I hope this won't happen for any of us, but if it does then I wish you/us luck. We're very lucky in the UK that we don't have to rely on health insurance and I have to admit I'm very grateful for that.

 

[2ducks]

MrsBeaney- does your healthcare system cover IUI and IVF?

 

[MrsBeany85]

In certain circumstances and certain areas IVF is sometimes covered. Unfortunately, my sister and her DH had (I think) only their 1st of 4 cycles covered. Their 5th would have been paid for as it would have been part of a clinical trial, but they didn't get that far.

If we get to the point of IVF and have to pay for it we'll struggle, but I have to admit after seeing my sister go through it I'm not sure it's for me. DH also said he'd be so scared to see me go through what my sister did and isn't sure he'd want to go through with it. I think that's another reason why I'm putting off going to see the doctor.

 

[BelleNuit]

I haven't actually looked into the mechanics of IVF from the woman's perspective. Not sure I'm wanting to at this point in time to be honest!