So Afraid of Choking! How to relax?

[newlywedtzh]

Hi All-

I am the only mom I know doing BLW (I'm in the States, so it hasn't really "caught on" here yet). So, am just starting to find support threads, etc.

The thing is- I feel like I'm holding her back from eating and trying new things because I am so afraid of her choking! Especially when I get all of the commentary about "won't she choke?!" "OMG- She's going to choke!" etc, you get the point Can someone offer me some comfort that she will not?

I have been giving her cucumber sticks, cantaloupe sticks, beets (she gagged on this and it freaked me out), steamed sweet potato chunks, steamed carrots, pineapple slices, apple slices. Have also let her suck on a hunk of steak. (wasn't sure if that was okay?)

The second she gags I find myself just taking the food out of her mouth/away and being to scared to continue.

I do notice some undigested "chunks" in her diapers, so she is swallowing chunks without mashing them with her jaws.

She's def interested in food, regardless of how much she swallows.

Ugh Idk.. sometimes i'm just tempted to go the puree route, eventho BLW makes more sense to me.

 

[noon_child]

Even if you did purees you'd still have to introduce finger food about now anyway, so there's no getting around it!

I've seen my LO gag on something, push it out of her mouth, then pick it up and put it right back in for another go. She learned a valuable skill when she gagged - how much to put in at once and how much to chew it before swallowing etc.

Those others around you are scared because they DONT know how the process works NOT because they know more than you. Get yourself informed about what real choking looks and sounds (or doesn't!) like and some paediatric first aid and that will give you increased confidence.

About the chunks in her nappy: no one chews food to an absolute purée we just make small chunks. If these chunks had been too big she would have gagged, in fact she has learned how to chew and swallow effectively! Yey!

 

[MindUtopia]

Have you taken a baby first aid course? I would do that so you have the skills to deal with anything that may happen. The reality is that anyone can choke. In fact, more adults choke and die on food than babies or children, so it clearly has nothing to do with not knowing how to eat. Babies can eat just fine, just like baby cows or baby monkeys or baby kittens. You don't see them needing purees. It's an instinct and a survival mechanism. Also, babies fed purees are actually at greater risk of choking than babies fed finger food because they don't learn to control food in their mouths before it's been forced to the back of the mouth (where they have no tongue control) and down the throat. In fact, the thing humans most commonly choke on is water! It's why people who are very ill and have difficulty swallowing (say, because of a stroke) have to have thickeners added to their water to be able to safely swallow it. So the risk of choking has nothing to do with feeding whole foods. It has to do with having control over the movement of food around the mouth and the best way to allow them to develop that is through self-feeding.

My daughter is 2 years old now. We did BLW from the start. She's never been spoonfed and never had a puree. She's also never choked. She's gagged, especially in the first couple weeks, and occasionally she might do in now, but gagging is good. You want them to gag. It's a way of moving food from the back of the mouth to the front, so it's not a bad thing at all, even though it sounds like a cat coughing up a hair ball! But I'd say the best thing you can do is get your own anxieties under control. She's fine and learning what she needs to learn about food. But hovering and panicking will have negative results down the line if you can't rope it in. Easier said than done, I know! But taking a first aid course and knowing how to respond in the unlikely event anything happens might help (also, just good skills to have because babies most often choke on non-food items, like marbles or beads left lying around that get put in the mouth, so even if she never chokes on food, which she probably won't, it's a good skill to have as a parent).

I have friends though who were sort of trying to do BLW with their daughter. Mum was really into it, but dad is a really anxious person and was completely freaked out. Every single time their daughter gagged or even put something in her mouth that he deemed too big or the wrong size or not soft enough or whatever, he completely flipped out. At our daughter's birthday, she was eating lunch with us and she kinda coughed a little while eating (not gagged, not choked, just coughed), and dad literally whipped her out of her high chair and turned her upside down and started beating her on the back and fishing around in her mouth. Poor thing was just trying to eat her lunch! As a result, she is now a really picky, nervous eater as a 2 year old and it's a shame because you can tell it probably came from how stressful mealtimes are at her house. Not saying that's what you're doing, but you can see how when it gets out of hand and you can't control your own anxieties, it can have lasting effects on them.

I'd say sit on your hands a bit. Let her do it. Know how to respond if you ever did need to. But trust her and the process. It's been one of the best parenting decisions we've made and you'll be glad you did it if you can just get over your initial fears.

 

[newlywedtzh]

Thank you so much for all of the great information. I did take the infant/child CPR class at the hospital when I was pregnant but it really wasn't relevant then!

I feel a lot better about it all thanks!

 

[Squiggy]

The choking is so scary! My son sometimes likes to put too much in his mouth, other times it's just that he didn't chew good enough or whatever. But he has choked. However, the times he's choked the worst/scariest were when he was learning to drink from a straw and then from a cup.


You're doing fine, but if you're scared maybe cut the foods down into diced pieces instead of sticks? Enough to curb your own anxiety. I took this measure when mine was learning to eat foods. I didn't mind taking the extra time to cut stuff up because it was for my own peace of mind and his safety, was a double-positive!

 

[noon_child]

You're doing fine, but if you're scared maybe cut the foods down into diced pieces instead of sticks? Enough to curb your own anxiety. I took this measure when mine was learning to eat foods. I didn't mind taking the extra time to cut stuff up because it was for my own peace of mind and his safety, was a double-positive!

i prefer sticks because LO can hold on to food a bit off manageable pieces. I was always afraid small pieces would be harder to manipulate in the mouth, more likely to slip back without causing gag reflex and just the right size to get lodged!! There's just no winning is there, just always something we will worry about.