So annoyed f ... Men

[freedom08]

Morning ladies

My asshole of a husband decided at the weekend to go and buy a bed for our little girl (I am against this idea) but anyways brought her a small double bed. Now bearing in mind that my little girl has been sick during the week with Thrush in her mouth he decides oh I will take up the cot and but her new bed up. I am the one that puts her to bed VERY night so I wasn't looking forward to this at all. Well she had a panic attack getting into bed screamed the house down, I thought maybe she mite go back into her cot but she was so frightened that she didn't and ended up sleeping in our bed that was on Wed nite, last nite I had to lay down with her in her new bed for her to fall sleep. After about hour she went to sleep but woke a half an hour after that I wanted me to sleep in with her. So now what the hell do I do. Our routine was always bed by 8 p.m. and asleep 8:30-9 p.m. now it is taking me nearly two extra hours to get her to sleep then she is wrecked in the morning and in bad form going off to the babysitter.
I just wish my husband hadn't brought this bed as we didn't take to our little girl about it. So fed up. Its ME that put her down every nite cause he has got the fu..ing patience or time to do it and he would be giving out to her. By the way my little girl is nearly 2 and half (july she will 2.5)


MEN FED UP TO THEM

 

[BearFamily]

I'm sleeping on a stretcher next to my son's cot. It will pass in time

 

[jd83]

Both my kids were out of cribs before age 2, so I can't speak on that part of it, as you may have different reasons to want to have kept her in hers longer.

I will say though, the way he went about it wasn't right, if he knew you weren't ready yet, and that neither of you had prepared her beforehand. With both kids, we told them they were getting big boy beds before we took the crib down. Then we went to the store together, bought big boy bedding, and then made a HUGE deal out of how awesome the new bed was. DS1 was great with his toddler bed when we went into it around 20 months. DS2 hated his the first few nights, but then has loved it ever since. He likes that he can now get in and out on his own. DS1 just got a full size bed a few months ago, and his toddler bed moved to DS2 room. Again, we made a HUGE deal that he was now in a reaaaally big boy bed. He LOVES his big boy bed, and that its big enough that mommy and daddy can be in it with him to read him bedtime books.

The bed's already there, so I think you guys just need to go back and start over with the making it exciting part. She needs to feel that this big girl bed is a special thing, not that it was just sprung on her.

 

[the why bird]

My daughter liked her old cot blankets in with her in her big bed to start with (still uses them sometimes, think they are easier to move in the night) and her special teddy. We also made a big deal out of choosing fun bedding and talking about what a big girl she is now. We had an elmo picture book called 'big enough for a bed' which we read a few times too, and we spent some time playing in her room in the daytime so she got an idea of how things looked. Does she have a nightlight or anything?

I can only think of a combination of trying to make it exciting and trying to make her room feel familiar again.

 

[Scottish mum]

I was oblivious about putting lo in his own bed at 2 sounds scary! I'll need to read a bit my lo is only 18 months just now so maybe I've still plenty if time. Maybe your lo just isn't ready x

 

[jd83]

I was oblivious about putting lo in his own bed at 2 sounds scary! I'll need to read a bit my lo is only 18 months just now so maybe I've still plenty if time. Maybe your lo just isn't ready x

You don't HAVE to have them in a bed by a certain age, that's completely up to you when you are comfortable moving your lo! When we moved our boys ,it really wasn't anything to do with their ages, more to do with the needs for the beds. We moved DS1 into toddler bed at 20 months because we were going to need the crib for his baby brother and wanted him to have time to adjust before his brother was born.

Then we moved DS2 to toddler bed around 19 months because we were ready to put DS1 in a full size bed, and the crib converts to that, so we needed the crib. So DS2 went to the toddler bed, and we converted to crib for DS1.

 

[RcdM]

My dd is about 25 months and I can't even imagine her in a toddler bed yet. It's probably because we have such a good routine right now and she is such a good sleeper. And I just don't want to mess with any of that right now, I don't feel there's any reason. Once she starts potty training I'm sure it would make more sense. But we've traveled and when she is "free" on a regular bed like at a hotel, she thinks it's playtime and will never go to sleep. I have to literally hold her down while she screams and cries until she falls asleep. Now that was in a hotel so maybe it would be different in her own room, but I'm just in no rush.

Your husband really should have talked to you about it first but maybe he didn't realize how big of a change it is for kids. So he could have thought he was doing something fun as a surprise. But if you're the one that puts her to bed every night (I am too!!) then it really should have been something you both talked about first.

I think what another poster said is good - get some books about big girl bed and show her how it's a bed like mommy and daddy's, and try to build excitement about it. Talk about it during the day and make it a fun and privileged event. You could even use a treat or her favorite breakfast as an incentive - like if you sleep in your big girl bed tonight, I will make you pancakes in the morning! I'm sure it will get easier, hang in there!

 

[FAB mama]

We put LO in a toddler bed around 13 months I think. He always screamed if he was in his crib and awake. He just never liked it. He was very very excited when we converted it to a toddler bed, but he still prefers to sleep in the full size bed (was a guest bed in his room) with me in there too. I don't think he likes to be alone and really hates to be confined. He falls asleep much better in the big bed. I think the mattress is much more comfortable. It's too high off the ground for him though to stay there alone.

Anyway, he should have talked to you first and I agree that making it sound like a big girl thing will probably help. I hope she gets used to it soon.

 

[freedom08]

Thanks ladies for replying
update: Its now nearly day 5 and its still no better. I have to lie down with her very nite to go to sleep. She goes bed at half 8 and doesn't fall asleep until near 10 p.m. it is breaking me. It use to that 20 minutes to put her into her cot we would lie on the bed, read and change nappy then into the cot and asleep by 9 p.m. Slept with her fri nite as she still wasn't feeling to well, but each nite I have been up with her at about 3 a.m. when she wakes and screams blue murder. I don't know what to do (she will not go back in her cot either) so I have no choice but to lie with her. I am totally wrecked in the day as I work 9-5 Mon-Fri

 

[randomrach]

I plan to do it soon (dd is 20 months) but I'll be trying to get her excited about the experience, rather than just changing her bed without any notice.

I only wonder why your partner didn't make it an exciting experience for her - talking to her about having a big bed, taking her shopping to get it and letting her watch it being put together etc. Maybe she will be ready but it needed to be done more gently.

 

[freedom08]

oh I don't know what to do 'I have my bed so now I just got to lie on it'

 

[BearFamily]

So sleeping on her bed until she deems it safe to sleep there ins't an option?

 

[impatient1]

It took B awhile to get used to sleeping in her bed and we had to sit with her for awhile but it got better and almost two years later she still has times where she needs us longer or wakes up but she does well with it.
It may be that she's not ready yet or that she just needs some time to adjust, only you will know.