so confused..kind of long

[sheephater321]

Hello everyone. First let me say..sorry to everyone on here who has or is suffering through a pregnancy loss. I understand your pain. I am on here hoping for some advice from others in a similar situation. I have had 2 miscarriages in the past 6 months. I am now feeling very confused and upset. I have had some testing, which included a Chem20 blood test, MTHFR, and anticoagulant/antiphospolipid tests.The only diagnosis I got was that I was heterozygous for the C67TT MTHFR defect(one copy). I'm told this may or may not be the cause of the 2 miscarriages(both at 6wks). I was put on Folgard Rx 2.2 and told we could TTC again in 3 months. Well..it has been 2.5 months and now instead of being excited I'm kind of freaking out...

I'm wondering if I should be seeking more testing before trying and I'm feeling like an emotional basketcase. My husband and I have been trying for quite a while and sometimes I just feel SICK of thinking about babies and even question our decision to have a baby. BUT MOST of the time all I can do is think about how much I just want to be pregnant and start a family. I can't stop thinking about it and I feel completely insane. I am so scared to go through another miscarriage. To make matters worse,about 10 months ago I started a job that I hate and have since hidden and lost 2 pregnancies while working there. I have really struggled to go through these losses while there. I don't know why it's so hard for me. I know that other people suffer worse things and get through it much better than me. I am considering leaving my job to completely focus on pregnancy attempt # 3. My loved ones have mixed feelings about this. I just feel like curling up in the fetal position for the next 9-10 months. Part of me just wants to be free to take care of myself completely and be alone..no job worries...to help me keep the third pregnancy. Is this a crazy idea? Or has anyone else left there job to feel more comfortable TTC??
So..I'm asking for advice on what else I should be doing before TTC a third time after 2 losses and if anyone else has experience with leaving work to focus on TTC?? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

[vickyd]

First of all im very sorry for your losses.... I too have suffered two losses the past year and am currently pregnant again although its still early to get too excited.
Coping with loss can be very emotionally draining and subsequently trying again can consume your whole being. I found that working like crazy helped me not only get over my losses quicker but keeping my sanity while ttc. I think if you stay at home, you will be obsessing over everything and completely stressing yourself out. Have you considered changing your job?

 

[sheephater321]

thank you for your post vicky...and congratulations on your new pregnancy. I wish you all the best. =) I have been looking for a new job for some time now, but haven't had any luck. I live in an area where most of the jobs are manufacturing and coal mining which doesnt help when you're looking for 'pregnancy suitable' work. I've been looking for months though and just recently have been debating leaving w/o a new job. I work as a secretary in a busy office and I have a social anxiety disorder, which also doesn't make the situation any easier. i probably seem like a whiny mess..I apologize..but thank you so much for the support. I'm glad there are nice caring people out there to talk to.

 

[Kittique]

I'm really sorry for your losses. I completely understand about wanting to leave the job to reduce stress. I see you mentioned you have social anxiety disorder....i also have this and my gooooood it makes everything so much harder doesn't it? I can imagine how stressful and anxious you feel having to work everyday in a job you hate. People sometimes don't understand how severly SAD can affect your life. Things most people do and don't even think about about cause extreme anxiety for us right! I think this is a perfectly good reason to leave or change your job. I know some people wouldn't be able to understand it, but removing that anxiety from your life is probably going to help so so much!

I'm sorry though i have no experience of the testing. I am terrified of getting pregnant again too......fills me with dread, but the thought of not being pregnant hurts so much

i hope you feel better soon xx

 

[vickyd]

Thats what we are here for doll, to get eachother through this!!!!
If its any consolation, im a chemist and i work in a research lab of a big manufacturing plant!!!!!!! I think any job can be pregnancy friendly as long as proper measures are taken on both sides. Keep your chin up and im sure youll come up with the best solution for you and your fammily!

 

[sheephater321]

thank you both so much for all of the kind words and support....vicky you bring up a good point about pregnancy safe jobs..I'm probably just a bit more cautious and nervous about work hazards than I normally would be. If I could wrap myself in bubble wrap and be comfortable I probably would...LOL. Kittique....Thank you so much for your reply. It is very nice to hear from someone else with SAD. I don't believe that i've ever heard from anyone else with that like me. It's comforting to know that there are actually others out there. I do not take anything for my anxiety. I'm just a bit 'awkward' all the time socially and this does make everything including jobs harder than normal. I definately know what you mean about not being pregnant hurting so much. For me, I'm getting closer to one of my original due dates which is tough and then there are pregnant women everywhere! The fear of miscarriage is strong though, but I'm trying to focus on the positive and get into a healthy place again. Thank you and I really hope things work out for you..wishing you both the best!

 

[mario'smom]

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for you losses.

Sincerely,
Michelle

 

[heather_dw]

double post. Not sure how I managed that!

*edits*

 

[heather_dw]

My specialist told me that a lot of the time, the MTHFR mutations aren't an issue. He said that lots of places don't even test for that, but rather, test your Homosyteine and/or folate levels. If your homosysteine level is high and folic is low, the MTHFR gene COULD *possibly* be a factor. If that is the case, they can help treat that with supplements.

If you haven't already, I would recommend getting them to test your blood for homosysteine and folic acid levels. Good luck, sweetie! I've had two miscarriages too, although they weren't so close together.

*hugs*

as for preparing to be pregnant, start taking prenatals if you aren't already. Something with at least 1mg of Folic acid