So frightened - warning could be upsetting to some

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by Beadette, Dec 23, 2009.

  1. Beadette

    Beadette I'm a blummin' Mumma!!!

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    Hi girls, I'm sorry if this upsets anyone but I really need some reassurance! Some of you may remember me posting about one of my best friends also being pregnant and being due 5 days ahead of me. Well she went for her 12 week scan yesterday and they told her that her baby had died! I'm devastated for her and had to leave work for crying. I didn't sleep last night through fear that it may also happen to me.

    I have not really had any symptoms for 2 weeks! Bloating has gone and I feel fine! I'm just worried that this means something has happened to my bean! I know it's awful for me to think this and I'm trying not to stress for sake of my baby! I just feel so awful for her! I was texting her before her scan getting all excited! We were so happy to go through it together! I want to be there for her but I might just end up being a big fat reminder of the fact that she should be pregnant too!

    I'm so sorry for moaning I'm just so unbelievably upset for her and it's made me so very nervous!
     
  2. lauralora

    lauralora Well-Known Member

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    im very sorry this has happend to your friend, i remember in july when i misscarried, my friend was also pregnant and i felt horrible for her because it made her feel so awkward around me, shes almost due now, and im just coming to the end of my first trimester with this pregnancy :)

    also dont worry that this will happen to you, i lost all my symptoms on holiday at 9 weeks, i was sure id done something to harm the baby, but then last week i had my scan, and everything was fine.

    missed misscarrages are pretty rare, what would be the likelyness of both you and your friend losing your babies? dont stress yourself, you will be fine :) xx
     
  3. catherineq87

    catherineq87 Well-Known Member

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    oh dear thats terrible. poor girl just b4 xmas 2.
    try not to worry i know its nerve wrecking and hard advice to listen to but im sure everything is fine with your LO. just feel bad for the girl. same situation hapend to a frend of mine last week 2.

    relax huni x
     
  4. caz81

    caz81 Well-Known Member

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    most people tend to lose their symptoms around this time as the placenta takes over, i lost mine around 12 weeks and just had my daughter a week ago - she was fine!! Dont worry, you will be fine xx
     
  5. Beadette

    Beadette I'm a blummin' Mumma!!!

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    Thanks girls! I just needed a womans view! DH is upset too but he doesn't like to talk about it and thinks I'm stressing myself out (I know he is right)

    It helps to hear your views so thank you XXXXXXX
     
  6. Pretty Sakura

    Pretty Sakura Well-Known Member

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    I am truely sorry for your friend!! And having no more symptoms is more than ok. Ask Sarah Melissa!! She hasn't had any at all .While those things sadly do happen they don't happen to everyone! I agree with lauralora that you will be just fine!! :hugs:

    Hope things will be more okay for your friendship.
     
  7. SugarKisses

    SugarKisses Luv my 3 miracle's

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    So sorry to hear that about your friend. :( I know how your feeling though. I am an angel mum already after loosing my daughter at 25 weeks pregnant and I also have a friend who lost her little boy........ We both fell pregnant the same time...she was trying and I wasnt and she sadly had a mmc. The thing is, is both her and her OH really want the baby so so much and theres only me in my relationship that wants this so I think she feels angry and jealous at me (which is understandable) and because we were due around the same time it must be even harder for her to see pics of me and my bump etc.
    I dont really know what to suggest because it must be so hard for her....maybe just talk to her and see if she wants you to still be around or if she maybe wants space from you? The only way you will know is if you ask hun.

    As for your symptoms fading...try not to worry. Mine all stopped about the same stage you mentioned...I know its scary but maybe in a few weeks you could invest in a doppler? I just bought one and I think its the best £20 I ever spent!

    Hope your ok, sorry for rambling :blush: x x x
     
  8. Beadette

    Beadette I'm a blummin' Mumma!!!

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    Thank you very much! I understand what you are saying about our friendship perhaps being strained at first but I honestly think we'll be fine! If you knew her you would
    know what I mean but it's me who is worried about upsetting her. She text me after the scan to tell me and I just replied that I was so so sorry for her loss and that I love her. She's being really really strong and brave and although she's gutted she's trying to be positive about things. I would completely understand if she wanted to keep her distance from me though and I would totally respect that.

    It just brings things to life for me and because I'm pregnant I can see More now how horrific it must be to lose your bean!

    I'm so sorry to all the angel mummys for your losses! I think you are all very brave!
     
  9. Pretty Sakura

    Pretty Sakura Well-Known Member

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    She is lucky to have such a sensitve and wonderful friend for support!!xxx
     
  10. SugarKisses

    SugarKisses Luv my 3 miracle's

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    Aw well thats good hun if you know that she will be fine with you, she sounds like a lovely person and friend to have...just like im sure you are to her. I understand your feelings though.

    :hugs2: x x x
     
  11. Nats21

    Nats21 Well-Known Member

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    Thats sad, right before xmas too, it must be really hard for her.

    I know its hard but try not to stress yourself out too much, I hardly had any symptoms (just tiredness, bloating and sore bbs), I had my scan today and everything was fine, your around the time when the symptoms can go so try not to worry yourself x
     
  12. Beadette

    Beadette I'm a blummin' Mumma!!!

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    Thank you! She is as good a friend to me too and I care about her very much! She's one of those people who you couldn't possibly not like! She's great! X
     
  13. Beadette

    Beadette I'm a blummin' Mumma!!!

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    She called me tonight after her evacuation (hate that term) and I missed it as I was cooking dinner for some friends - they were supposed to be coming too but for obvious reasons didn't.

    Anyway she has left me a voicemail to say that she is coming to terms with things and she doesn't want me to be uncomfortable! She says that she still wants to go through this pregnancy with me and that she thinks it will help her more to be involved than not! She said they are still dead excited for us and that will not change and in a couple of months they are hoping to try again! God I love her! Let's keep our fingers crossed it happens for her soon! She's being so brave x

    Rip to her little angel! Xxxx
     
  14. Cinnamon

    Cinnamon Well-Known Member

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    Oh hun, I'm so sorry for your friend but I'm sure you'll be fine. It's nice to know she has someone like you that truly feels for her, I'm sure she'll appreciate it.xxx
     
  15. Pretty Sakura

    Pretty Sakura Well-Known Member

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    FX it happens for her VERY soon!!xx
     
  16. Beadette

    Beadette I'm a blummin' Mumma!!!

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    Thanks for your support girls. You don't know what it means to me! Lots of love to you all xxxx
     
  17. venusrockstar

    venusrockstar ~Aspiring Photographer~

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    From about week 8 up to week 12 I didn't have a lot of symptoms. I went for a scan at just over 11 weeks and the baby was fine. Try not to worry hun.

    I am so sorry to hear about your friend.
     
  18. emsiee

    emsiee Mum of 2

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    Hun....thats so sad.

    But, as someone previously said, it is quite rare.

    I have my 2nd scan next week and my symptoms have gone too and really dont feel pregnant at all now. Im terrified it will happen to me, but at the same time, Im trying to be very positive. Dont worry, symptoms go around now for us due to the placenta, so thats what im putting it down too.

    Im sure you will be fine and sympathies to your friend. xx
     
  19. Bec L

    Bec L Proud mum to 2 girls/1boy

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    So sorry to hear of your friends loss. Since I became pregnant, I know 3 others girls who have since had miscarriages - one found out at a 7 week dating scan, one at 10 weeks and my poor SIL was 14 weeks when she found out (and had been having regular scans). It is so so scary and I feel for them but I also feel worried that the same thing could happen to us.

    All you can do is be there for your friend - I am sure she will be so happy for you that things are all ok xxx
     
  20. BrookieG

    BrookieG Mummy to Ollie

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    hun my symptoms started to disappear at exactly the stage your at, epu said my placenta had taken over and this was why. As for your friend I had the exact same situation as her. We went for our routine 12 week scan, no bleeding with the pregnancy at all and were told our baby died at about 6 weeks, at the time 3 of my friends were pregnant and i'll be totally honest hun i did find it hard, we were all only really weeks apart so i found it difficult, just be patient with your friend hun, be there to support her, a lot of my friends who were pregnant just stopped texting or phoning me coz they didnt know what to say or they felt they'd be rubbing salt in the wound, that hurt like hell ive lost a few good friends coz they just ignored me! lol Im 110% certain you wouldnt do this hun and your friend will understand how awkward it may be for you, the best advice i can give is just be there for her, she'll appreciate it in more ways than you know. I found out who my true friends were when I lost baby g, just be there for her hun xxx
     

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