The only little bit of help i have for you is when you get your beautiful baby when it happens again you will think it all makes sense now. I have had two cruel chemical pregnancies, that were nowhere near as horrible as what you have been through but at the time i felt so angry. I was spotting and getting positive tests. I wanted to be pregnant so much and it was hard to accept. But i had my daughter and i know I wouldn't have her if things went the other way. It happened to me again last august. I really wanted an age gap of 2.5 years. I had a few months away from trying and had Christmas, my daughters birthday and a holiday. Im now expecting a son in 4 months. Again i feel like its all worked out perfect.
Even though it will be hard for a while i hope that it happens soon for you. At least they are doing scans as its so hard to relax and going through that first 12 weeks without knowing would be hard. How long have you got to wait for your af to start? I always say being a women can be so hard. Ive had bleeds in this pregnancy and there have been times I thought i was going to loose him. I really hope you feel better soon xx