So ive been thinking.....

[elsmogro]

That I may not claim my whopping £5 a week child support off my waste of space ex. I dont see the point really as that wont really be that much of a help and believe me, he will never get a job!

He hasnt come to any scans yet, hasnt bought a single thing for her (he is thinking about buying an xbox game this weekend and going to hang out in newcastle with some girl according to his facebook, guess thats his priorities)

so what do you all think, my baby wil have my name and he wont be on the birth certificate so if im not getting my fiver support off him then i wont have to worry aout him not having anyhing to do with her then suddenly demanding to see her years down the line if he ever grows up and relises what he is missing out on

 

[sineady]

you could maybe put that £5 a week into a savings account for her and give her when shes 18?? a fiver a week is not alot at all but if you save it up for her they would be quite a lot when she turns 18

 

[anna matronic]

^^^^^^^^^^^^ what I was gonna suggest

 

[elsmogro]

ah yes thats a really good idea I was thinking about putting some money away for her as i think they still get the trust fund thing from the government (if not ill just open one myself) so that would be a great idea

thankyou xxx

 

[Kacie]

That's definitely a good idea. Hopefully it wont be a hassle to get the money from him.

xxx

 

[Strawberrymum]

I would personally go with out. If he pays then he has rights? Also my SIL got about the same amount from her dad when she was growing up then when she went to uni she was denied help by the government (allowance for living ) and had to get a loan.

She would be saving a lot more now if her dad never paid ALOT more.

 

[Newdreemz]

I've been through that. My son's dad pays no child support. He owes back support and eventually he'll have a warrant out on him soon. Its not like I expect him to pay but I just keep the case open because the LEAST he can do is help financially. I'm over expecting him to take my son to the zoo or even buying him clothes once in awhile. I'd rather not deal with it all but what he WILL DO is help him out financially. I used to feel bad for taking him to court and then I felt like whats the point when he won't pay anyway??! but now I realize its not about me, this is really about me helping him become a man and taking SOME RESPONSIBILITY in this instead of letting him just run off and trying to forget he has a child. I've closed the case in the past to even help him out when we had a mutual private agreement, and there was another time where I decreased the amount just so he would know I wasn't trying to be a bitch. but after ALL THAT he still has taken advantage of the situation. He has disappeared on my son. SO no more. I'm over it. So my advice is, you should keep the case active.

Even if the case is open or closed, if he doesn't want anything to do with your child, then he won't. So it really won't matter if you choose to make him pay child support.

 

[littlepepper]

If you're sure he's going to be regular with the fiver, you should do what the other girls suggested and put it in a savings fond.

 

[elsmogro]

well he gets benefits and it would be taken directly out of that. The only thing i was worried about is that if he has nothing to do with my daughter for eyars then expects to come straight in and get access as im not sure about the rights he would have by paying child support, hmmm

 

[Kayles1/8/08]

yep take him for what u can get as harsh as tht sounds! u may hate his guts but he made tht baby too and he needs to pay up! after all ur carrying the little princess and ul be taking care of her why should he get a free pass? x

 

[shiawase]

I dont know what situation you are in regarding money, but i know for me some weeks the last £5 in my wallet was a life saver! I'd take it! You never know he might get a job one day then you'll get some more! Liams dad isnt on the birth cert and liam has my last name he went to a solicitor when i stopped him from seeing liam and even tho he paid child support they told him without my saying so it would be hard for him to get access because he isnt on the certificate so i wouldnt worry too much!

 

[littlekitten8]

Him paying child support doesnt give him automatic rights. If he is not on the BC he would have to go to court to get parental rights and would have to prove he is the dad. That money is owed to you so take it. You will be glad of it some day. My FOB owes me over £1500 in back payments and we are now going to court for a court order saying he has to pay. Hold your ground and save that money for your LO x

 

[elsmogro]

thanks again.
Im still thinking about it. As it turns out i wont get that 5 pound as extra, I would get a 5 pound deduction from my pay so the only thing that it would affect it seems is that my ex would get 5 pound a week less.
Im still wondering whether its worth it al all, i know if he ever got a job it would be re-calculated and id get more off him but it wouldnt reall benefit my daughter more as id just get that deducted and have the same amount coming in. Just seems it would only be worth getting it cause he'd get less and knowing him he would think he was super dad for getting it forcfully taken out of his money as he was still paying >_<

 

[TiredNurse27]

I would just enjoy the fact that someone's getting paid sweet fuck all in JSA is now another £5 worse off. Maybe he won't be able to afford the XBOX or the mcdonalds happy meal for his new bird.

 

[expecting09]

Why would you lose £5 pay? I don't think receiving child maitenance affects any of your earnings. Are you working? Or benefits? I definitely know that it wouldn't affect any benefits xx

 

[elsmogro]

Aw tirednurse27 i love your comment hahahaha

Nope ive finished working now as i was just at a temp placement so am on benefits. Ive just cut all contact with him as i gpt sick of him bragging bout spending his benefits on booze etc when he hasnt even bought a pack of nappies such a waste of space. He also sent me a msg telling me what him and some girl had been getting up too. Basically told him exactly what i thought of him and blocked him off everything.

So back on topic, sorry went off on one there lol. So if i claim my maintinence that five pounds wont be deducted from my benefit?? Also he isnt going to be on the birth certificate and i dont want him having contact, can i still legally say no to contact if he is paying maintinence? Xxxx

 

[gemabee]

u don't need to declare ur child support payments when sorting out any of ur benefits, u only ever need to declare extra maintenance u get (nd i've only ever known of 1 case in the whole world where a man pays more than what he needs to! lol).
nd as for contact, he won't be on the bc so would have to take u to court for access, regardless of whether or not he pays u child support.
but at the end of the day, if a dad really wants access, there's no way to stop them, they'd have to go through the whole rigmarole of takin u to court and payin dna tests/ legal fees and this is normally enough to stop them. or if u can prove they are violent or dangerous in any way then they'd be denied access as well.
xx

 

[elsmogro]

Ah thanks thats really a great help
Tbh i seriously doubt he will even bother, he isnt the type of person who cares for anyone or anything other than himself so i have nothing to worry about there. Im still thinking about what to do so ill keep u updated thanks everyone xxx