So P'd off..UGGGHHH,What is wrong with people ?!?!

[mamichulo5]

Well, first of all I am pregnant with my 6th, 4 living, 1 angel and expecting a boy in July. My thing is most people know I had a MC in June and then thankfully got pregnant with this one right after in Sept. But why do people who know and those that don't,Think it is ok to come up to me and want to tell me all about their babies dieing at such and such age, them miscarrying at this many weeks/ months, or asking me stupid questions like "Do I wonder if this baby is going to make it?", what type of person asks a pregnant woman a question like that "stupid f@$&king idiots". First of all I don't care or want to hear that and I just want to enjoy my pregnancy, without fear(which is already hard) and hope he is healthy when he does finally come.I have made it this far with complications and as far as I know he is fine. I am not sure if they realize that it is so insensitive to tell any pregnant women about death of another child or ask if she thinks her baby will die, when anything could possibly happen. It just makes me avoid you and your negativity... sorry...Just ranting !!!

 

[KeepingHope12]

I'm so sorry you've had to hear all of that, and even more so after what you've gone through! People can be so stupid and insensitive. I don't know what would even possess people to say crap like that to anyone, previous mc or not. Sorry for everything, hun!

 

[TrixieLox]

I've found this too! One woman in my office bent my ear for about 20 mins the other day about the 5 miscarriages she's had, including one at 30 weeks (officially a stillbirth).

I also had a nurse tell me while I was getting some treatment having just found out I was pregnant about her incompetent cervix and how she lost 2 babies because of it.

I understand it must be such a traumatic experience and there can be this need to unload. But a little sensitivity, please. There's a time and a place for things like this.

 

[MomPepperdine]

idk people are just turds I'm sorry

 

[mamichulo5]

Thank you all !

 

[cupcake0406]

That's flipping ridiculous! People should think before they speak! X

 

[mnonie]

That's disgusting! I know it's scary enough after losing one but for people to tell you about other people's loses is so insensitive! I think I'd have prob have lost my temper, your amazing! Xx

 

[kasey06]

I don't find it disgusting at all. Women like to talk about their babies/deliveries, no matter what the experience is. I am a mother of 3: a 4 year old, an angel in heaven who was stillborn last summer very unexpectedly at full term due to a true cord knot, and a baby on the way. Although Jonas isn't physically with us, he was very much real, and I labored and delivered with him as I would any other. Pretending that he didn't exist isn't going to happen. I understand using tact when discussing him, but he was, is, and always will be my son. I think women like to talk about their children with other women, it gives a sense of bonding and respect. I'm sure nobody means you any disrespect, us mommies of angels just want our babies remembered also.

 

[Moti]

I don't find it disgusting at all. Women like to talk about their babies/deliveries, no matter what the experience is. I am a mother of 3: a 4 year old, an angel in heaven who was stillborn last summer very unexpectedly at full term due to a true cord knot, and a baby on the way. Although Jonas isn't physically with us, he was very much real, and I labored and delivered with him as I would any other. Pretending that he didn't exist isn't going to happen. I understand using tact when discussing him, but he was, is, and always will be my son. I think women like to talk about their children with other women, it gives a sense of bonding and respect. I'm sure nobody means you any disrespect, us mommies of angels just want our babies remembered also.

Thank you.

 

[mnonie]

I don't find it disgusting at all. Women like to talk about their babies/deliveries, no matter what the experience is. I am a mother of 3: a 4 year old, an angel in heaven who was stillborn last summer very unexpectedly at full term due to a true cord knot, and a baby on the way. Although Jonas isn't physically with us, he was very much real, and I labored and delivered with him as I would any other. Pretending that he didn't exist isn't going to happen. I understand using tact when discussing him, but he was, is, and always will be my son. I think women like to talk about their children with other women, it gives a sense of bonding and respect. I'm sure nobody means you any disrespect, us mommies of angels just want our babies remembered also.

Sorry I hope I didn't course any offence. Tbh I would never discuss my loss with a mum to be as it's scary being pregnant at the best of times but I can see where your coming from. Sorry

 

[mamichulo5]

For all the kinds words, Thank you!... I was ranting about the insensitive people who thought it was ok to tell me their or anybody elses horrible birth/miscarriage stories. Yes, I have lost a baby and I keep it to myself, that's how I choose to hold on to my angel and yes, I do have other LO's that are living and it still was a hard time for my family. Also, losing a child full term or not still hurts... for those who thought the replies were intended in a bad way(I am sure they weren't)... There is a time to talk to people about our loses(if asked) and there is a time not to(just because they're pregnant). Would you just spot a random pregnant woman and go tell here your horrible birth/miscarriage story?. Knowing that pregnancy is already scary enough without others shoving there loses or anybody elses down your throat, I would never do that to any woman I do/do not know, If that's how you handle memorializing your angels then that's how you do it. But I on the other hand feel like there should be some ounce of respect for the new mother whether she had a loss or not and there is a better way to handle it like maybe just saying "Good Luck, with your new little one or maybe thinking of the other mothers feelings. Once again thanks to you all

 

[mamichulo5]

I don't find it disgusting at all. Women like to talk about their babies/deliveries, no matter what the experience is. I am a mother of 3: a 4 year old, an angel in heaven who was stillborn last summer very unexpectedly at full term due to a true cord knot, and a baby on the way. Although Jonas isn't physically with us, he was very much real, and I labored and delivered with him as I would any other. Pretending that he didn't exist isn't going to happen. I understand using tact when discussing him, but he was, is, and always will be my son. I think women like to talk about their children with other women, it gives a sense of bonding and respect. I'm sure nobody means you any disrespect, us mommies of angels just want our babies remembered also.

Sorry I hope I didn't course any offence. Tbh I would never discuss my loss with a mum to be as it's scary being pregnant at the best of times but I can see where your coming from. Sorry

Thank you very much from both point of views and no offense was taking on my end.Honestly,I do think it can be quite disgusting to scare the living s@#t out of an expecting mother, when you know she has scary moments of her own without the help of others.

 

[Tasha]

I am not really sure what to say. Yes pregnancy is scary but maybe they want to raise awareness, like for me there are specific reasons why my children died and they are preventable so if I find someone in a similar position I DO tell them about it, in order to prevent it happening to them. Or perhaps they think a pregnant Mummy will have empathy, lots of people dismiss the loss of a little one who has died in utero but a pregnant Mummy knows just how important a baby is, regardless of if they have their first breath outside the womb or not. Maybe they want people to know that they are a Mummy too. Maybe want to share advice or people to ask for advice because just because there baby isnt here, doesnt make them less of a Mummy or less able to share their opinions.

I hope I have come across okay about this, it is a sensitive subject

 

[mamichulo5]

I am not really sure what to say. Yes pregnancy is scary but maybe they want to raise awareness, like for me there are specific reasons why my children died and they are preventable so if I find someone in a similar position I DO tell them about it, in order to prevent it happening to them. Or perhaps they think a pregnant Mummy will have empathy, lots of people dismiss the loss of a little one who has died in utero but a pregnant Mummy knows just how important a baby is, regardless of if they have their first breath outside the womb or not. Maybe they want people to know that they are a Mummy too. Maybe want to share advice or people to ask for advice because just because there baby isnt here, doesnt make them less of a Mummy or less able to share their opinions.

I hope I have come across okay about this, it is a sensitive subject

No, you are so ok, Thank you!!..Yes I do understand that people deal with loses different. All pregnant woman have their own worries but some people can scare you and have you always worried(about the what ifs) when in fact this is a time when worry can also cause problems... I would never tell another to keep their stories to themselves, maybe its "there healing process" but everybody is not as social about there loses and no amount of time will make them less sensitive about it.So my thing is just be more thoughtful.

 

[tashalina]

I have had it from both sides, when I was pregnant with my son it was my first baby and a bloke from work I didnt even know that well went into detail about how they thought everything was fine until last min with his son who they sadly lost. I obviously felt for him but it was all I could think about for days afterwards.

This time around, a friend of mine and partner have lost their baby at 26 weeks and my friend has still felt comfortable enough with me to be able to openly discuss things even though I am close to due dates with them. I am touched that she has still been able to talk to me and that I have been able to offer support (some people may have felt awkward talking to a pregnant woman about such things)

I think it totally depends on the situation and how well you know the person and the context of the conversation.

It is a very sensitive subject and I can see both sides, to all those with angel babies xx

 

[Wobbles]

Those who come to you who have had loss' maybe feel they can because you understand the heartache and fear? I never knew anyone to talk to in real life when I had problems TTC. I experienced early problems; chemicals and an ectopic but it was still so lonely!

 

[mamichulo5]

Those who come to you who have had loss' maybe feel they can because you understand the heartache and fear? I never knew anyone to talk to in real life when I had problems TTC. I experienced early problems; chemicals and an ectopic but it was still so lonely!

Thanks, Guess I never thought about it like that and no body knew what I was and still am going thru besides my DH(and a couple friends). and I guess the bigger I get the more approachable I look and some of the stories are really scary.After losing one and getting pregnant so close behind I am still terrified to lose him or try not to get attached to him for fear.It is just a lot.....