So sad. I think it's the end of BFing

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by eeyore007, Jan 23, 2011.

  1. eeyore007

    eeyore007 New Mummy to Frances

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    Well, some of you may remember that bubba had cut down her feeds to just pre bedtime and then one at about 6am.

    These last 5 days she's had a stinker of a cold and as such has found it difficult to latch and breathe at the same time so hasn't been having big feeds.

    The pre bedtime one also went down to just a few sucks.

    These last two evenings she hasn't wanted my milk at all and won't even try to latch on. I still have milk left, but it's just not being eaten.

    My right boob was really deflated anyway with the lack of daytime feeds as she's always prefered the left anyway.

    Last night was awfuk and she kept on waking up with a cuddle generally being enough to settle her. Then early morning she woke up and wouldn't take the boob so I gave her some formula from a carton which she glugged down. She then settled fine.

    She's now nearly 14 months, so I'm beginning to believe that perhaps I should just give up trying to breast feed as certainly at the moment it seems to be distressing her.

    I just feel rotten as you read in so many places that 18 months is normal for self weaning, not now.
     
  2. summer rain

    summer rain Mum of 5

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    Hi

    sometimes I get tired of reading about how its impossible for babies to self wean before 18 months, along with other black and white 'facts' along the same lines. My second eldest self weaned at 12 and a half months, he had consciously been cutting down on feeds for a while and then started refusing altogether, it is sad but be proud you've got so far. You could always continue to express and mix it in with whichever other milk she has (if she refuses it on its own). xx
     
  3. Lu28

    Lu28 Aisling's mammy

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    My daughter also went on an extended bfing strike / self-weaned at 12.5 months old. She just stopped completely one day, no reason and never fed again despite me offering. Despite what some people say, babies don't always wean early because they were fed on a schedule, trained to sleep through the night or any other reason, sometimes they just stop :shrug:

    If LO has stopped, feel proud of yourself that you made it this far and that it was your LO's decision to stop xxx
     
  4. bababas

    bababas Well-Known Member

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    wow you should be so proud of yourself! :flower: my breastfeeding story did not go well, so i am turning slowly to FF right now. i wish i had perfect milky boobies for my LO, but we are doing fine and made 4 months BF. so i think you should be really really proud of yourself :thumbup:
     
  5. eeyore007

    eeyore007 New Mummy to Frances

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    Thanks everyone. Feel so much better now!
    LU28 - she has no schedule, pretty much feeds when she likes and still wakes at about 6 for her morning feed. That's the one I'm surprised she's dropped as I thought that would be the last to go.
    Summer Rain - thank you. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in baby 'schedules' I forget each is individual. We did BLW and I felt I'd failed as I started to give her food at 5.5 months, yet everywhere said 6 months. So that was 1/12 early, and her self weaning isn't that differnt. Puts a different perspective on it! Re. expressing, I am useless. Utterly crap at it! I squeeze and squeeze and get dribbles that amount to nothing. When my boobs were huge in early days, most I got was an ounce, over the course of a day! Yet bubba could empty a boob no problem! So that's not really an option. I did try last night and again got a dribble, so if she's striking she'd better be serious otherwise the bobby will be dry very very soon!
    I am proud of doing it for this long, although I had really settled into it and just assumed it would last a lot longer. Trouble is in my family everyone has BF'd, but extremes, either just for say 6 weeks, or to the length of 2.5 years! So I'm a bit of an odd ball.
    A happier odd ball now though thanks to you ladies!
     
  6. wellyboot

    wellyboot Well-Known Member

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    I've just had exactly the same happen (I posted about my one year old not wanting to feed anymore). My lo had a stinking cold and just suddenly refused to feed. His cold is better now, but he's not interested in feeding any more. I'd have loved to have fed him for longer, but I'm going to follow his lead and stop now. On the plus side, at least the teeth marks may start to fade now! Hope all goes well for you.

    Welly xx
     
  7. eeyore007

    eeyore007 New Mummy to Frances

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    Thanks welly - you too! (Although thankfully mine wasn't a biter - but I was in fear of it)!!
     
  8. deobi

    deobi Pregnant with #2

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    Funny, I have a biter who just finished a cold too and has done the same thing with the biting if he doesn't want to feed - strange!!

    I am worried if he decides to wean now as he won't take whole milk from a cup....

    Smart to follow baby's lead mind you, otherwise you will make yourself nuts by continually trying only to be refused, could be more upsetting than just letting it go and trust the process is working as it should be. :) best of luck however it ends up!
     
  9. cleckner04

    cleckner04 Well-Known Member

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    That's the ultimate goal for most of us. To have them self wean and it be their choice! You should feel super proud!! :hugs:
     
  10. eeyore007

    eeyore007 New Mummy to Frances

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    Thanks ladies. I am proud, yet gutted at the same time. Like a mug I am still offering it - just in case it's a temporary strike. Perhaps I won't any more. Just dunno whats for the best. Plus I don't know what to do now re milk feeding? Think I'll have to go ask in another thread!

    Cleckner04 - you are very right - thank-you! ps - love the red hair - I've one of those too!! Such a pretty colour. I was deep red/auburn when little and OH was baby blonde, so we've ended up with a little girl with seriously red/ginger/auburn hair, depending upon the light.
     
  11. Lu28

    Lu28 Aisling's mammy

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    Keep offering until you're comfortable stopping hon xx
     
  12. eeyore007

    eeyore007 New Mummy to Frances

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    Ok - will do! (think that's what I wanted to hear!!)
     
  13. Lu28

    Lu28 Aisling's mammy

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    That's what I did anyway so I didn't have any regrets and 'what ifs'. I called it a day when I sat topless in her room while she played just in case she felt like I'd been pressuring her - she crawled over, bit my nipple sharply, giggled and crawled off again - figured she couldn't give me much of a clearer signal after a couple of weeks of keeping offering! :haha:
     
  14. eeyore007

    eeyore007 New Mummy to Frances

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    That's very funny! Not at the time I guess, but worth trying!! You're right though about the what ifs. That's probably the element that bothers me the most.
     
  15. Lu28

    Lu28 Aisling's mammy

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    Yeah, I wasn't impressed at the time but laughed at it afterwards!
     
  16. cleckner04

    cleckner04 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks!! My hair is the exact same color as Emma's. :D It's the one thing she inherited from me. Although DH has red in his hair as well but not nearly as bright. I absolutely adore redheads though. I hope all my babies end up with it. :baby:

    I agree with Lu that I'd just keep offering. It could just turn out to be a nursing strike and she may come back to it. I hope either way over time you'll just be proud of what an amazing start you've given her. No matter when she stopped. :flower:
     
  17. kelly29

    kelly29 Guest

    i think your amazing for getting that far :) well done to you i'm at 8 wks and that feels amazing so you should be so chuffed with yourself xx
     
  18. eeyore007

    eeyore007 New Mummy to Frances

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    Thanks Kelly29!
    LU28 - I tried sitting in her room this morning with my top off. She came up and 'flicked' my nipple.
    Not sure what to think of that!
    Then later on, just before her nap when she was getting a bit restless I exposed my boobies whilst sitting on the sofa and she came up, had a prod then nussled into be sucking her thumb.
    Will keep on offering. Would have been so much easier if it was warmer as I could have just wandered about topless without blooming freezing!
    Anyway, let's see what happens, especially once this cold is out of the way.
     
  19. Lu28

    Lu28 Aisling's mammy

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    :haha:
     
  20. andbabymakes3

    andbabymakes3 Just me and my girl

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    Well done for making it to 14 months! Holly completely lost interest at 10.5 months and I was gutted - but if I'm honest I was more gutted for me than her, she couldn't have cared less at that stage! The night I decided not to offer anymore, I sat in my bedroom and sobbed, and wrote her a big long letter in her baby book about how much of a joy it had been.

    In terms of formula, all I did was offer a bottle when she would have been offered bf (although she was combi fed so was quite happy to take a bottle).

    Also, we blw and started at 5.5 months instead of the recommended 6. No biggie lovely, you know your baby!

    Congrats again. 14 months really is fantastic x
     

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