So sick of people commenting on my belly...rant

[Melisa1985]

So I went to a baby shower today & few people commented on my belly being huge & how my baby is huge...First of all my baby is normal size & just because my belly is big or what I consider normal size to this point, few people commenting about my belly being big made me feel like CRAP!! I came home in tears seriously. I'm due in 4-5 weeks & these insensitive comments about my belly being huge or me looking huge are so insensitive that they are making me feel like breaking down. I came home and broke down in tears, I can't take peoples comments anymore about my weight gain or about my belly. For gods sakes just because my belly is big doesn't mean I have a huge baby & everyones body is different. Do people really expect me to be tiny at this point?
Than the other pregnant woman at the baby shower is only 27 weeks & comparing herself to me she said "oh i feel so tiny compared to you"...oh geez at 27 weeks i was smaller too!! I'm not a huge woman, I'm started off 130 lbs and I'm 163 right now, and 5'5. I don't understand why people put you down so much & just make you feel like shit during the toughest weeks of your pregnancy. It's not like i can control how big my belly looks, it just would be nicer if people would say my belly looks nice instead of commenting on how huge it is. They make me feel so fat that I just wish I can lock myself in the house right now & not see any other person at all until I have given birth. Few other people made a comment how they don't think I'll make it to my due date because I'm already so big, so I'll probably just go early. Can you even tell by that if i'll make it to my due date?? urgh
I just want to cry, this is not fair, I deal with enough crap, aches and pains and I don't understand why do people gotta destroy the little self-esteem that I got left. Calling a pregnant huge or big is NOT okay, why don't people get that???

 

[Kaleido]

I understand completely , though I'm on the other side of it. My baby is measuring quite small, only in the 10th percentile, and tbh I'm a little worried about it.. So every time someone goes on and on about how small I am, or if I'm sure I'm 35 weeks, I get more and more anxious and paranoid about her being small. I wish people would just keep their assessments to themselves. Or just say we look lovely and that's it. Ugh I feel your pain!

 

[bmuir11207]

It really frustrates me when people talk about how big or small a women looks pregnant every person is different and every pregnancy is different with my first I started at 115lbs and at the end I was about 180lbs this is my fourth and I stated at 160 lbs lost down to 150lbs at first and now I'm 160lbs. I think women need to stop being so critical and realize how you might be making that person feel about themselves. Okay deep breath and I'm done

 

[kezziek]

Oh honey I totally emphasise as I've had this all the way through my pregnancy and it's only getting worse the closer I get to the end. It does my head in. I try and laugh it off but being constantly called 'fatty' or that you look 'fit to burst' and people gasping in disbelief when you tell them that 'no I'm not due for another X amount of weeks' becomes really tiresome. I'm only 5ft 4ins too so baby doesn't really have anywhere to go but out. I seriously don't know what people expect you to look like when you are growing another human being. So big hugs for you, just try to ignore the comments as best as you can and enjoy your beautiful bump - people are just ignorant sometimes xxxx

 

[anamchara]

People at work, family, strangers, all comment on how big my baby belly is. Am I sure its not twins, they doubt I'll she'll be full term cuz I'm so big, she's going to be 15 pounds, etc. It pisses me off yo no end. I know what you're talking about, believe me. I already feel like a house without the comments. I've been wanting to come up with some smart come back but haven't thought of anything yet. The best thing I came up with was when a man with a pronounced beer gut commented on the size of my belly and I asked him when his baby was due. Hahaha!

 

[Julesillini8]

As, sorry you're so upset. I know it's NOT what you want to be hearing. Just say " yes my belly is huge because I have another human in there.. Why is yours so big?"

 

[Melisa1985]

As, sorry you're so upset. I know it's NOT what you want to be hearing. Just say " yes my belly is huge because I have another human in there.. Why is yours so big?"

that's a good one!! I should say that, I always try to be so nice & not say anything mean back & than I come home in tears crying really bad because they destroyed my self-esteem and made me feel really bad about my self-image. Maybe being too nice is not really working.

 

[Lisasmith]

People look at me as if I'm a circus side show freak. I'm under 5ft tall and its my 4th baby so yep, I'm huge, yes it hurts like hell and yes I'm sure that there is only one baby in there >.<

 

[Melisa1985]

So glad to read all your ladies comments & know I'm not alone & many of you are going through the same thing. It's so difficult & honestly I don't know how people don't realize they will hurt you with their comments, what kind of a world do we really live in? I know that I never ones told a pregnant women she gained weight or got fat or that her belly looks huge or small, if i didn't have something nice to say I would keep my mouth closed. & for gods sakes it won't hurt them to actually tell us we look lovely & have a nice glow, we are growing a little human inside of us & can't look perfect. Our bellies will grow & we will gain weight, we just need a lil lift to get us through this.

I swear sometimes I just don't want to see another human being at all until June & ones my baby has arrived. I don't want another person commenting on my weight gain & my big belly, i feel like i cry every single time people say crap to me. don't know how to handle it.

 

[Melisa1985]

People look at me as if I'm a circus side show freak. I'm under 5ft tall and its my 4th baby so yep, I'm huge, yes it hurts like hell and yes I'm sure that there is only one baby in there >.<

I been asked before if I'm carrying twins (as a joke), that's NOT funny!! (the person knew im carrying one baby, but i guess my belly is huge and she thought she would make a joke). people need to realize you do not make those kind of jokes.

& yes people on streets look at us like we circus freak show, and its mostly women, which really pisses me off even more. Women are looking at me walking down the street like they never seen a pregnant women before or like they never freaken been pregnant themselves.

 

[Lisasmith]

I'm rather bold so ill tell people if they're being a jerk. When random people touch my belly I extend my hand and touch theirs and say "yeah, not appropriate is it?" They get the picture right quick

 

[Melisa1985]

I'm rather bold so ill tell people if they're being a jerk. When random people touch my belly I extend my hand and touch theirs and say "yeah, not appropriate is it?" They get the picture right quick

That's a good one!! I been hating some people touching my belly, like this one person who pokes at my belly with her fingers, soooooooo ANNOYING! who does that. I should poke back & ask her how it feels.

 

[Jess137]

I feel the same way It's stupid! Oh and now people have started asking me if I'm dilating yet. EXCUSE ME??? Would you normally walk up to someone and inquire about the state of their cervix?

 

[Melisa1985]

I feel the same way It's stupid! Oh and now people have started asking me if I'm dilating yet. EXCUSE ME??? Would you normally walk up to someone and inquire about the state of their cervix?

Oh I know!!! that's ridiculous, haven't gotten that question yet, I guess I should expect it. I should try to come up with a good come back because I seriously don't need anyone knowing if I'm dilating yet or not. I gotten the question from women or how I shave down there now with a big belly, like seriously?? I can't not believe these women, that's my business how I shave, it doesn't concern them & they won't have to see it,so I don't understand why even ask me or wonder how I shave.

 

[Julesillini8]

Yes, I think you should quit being too polite and just say what's on your mind they will get the message and stop saying stupid crap! My first pregnancy it took me awhile before I said something blunt back to them. But really, their comments are inappropriate so why not fire back a smart remark. Then when you get home, you will be laughing not crying! Hugs to you girl, dont feel down about your weight or belly! only a few more weeks

 

[Melisa1985]

Yes, I think you should quit being too polite and just say what's on your mind they will get the message and stop saying stupid crap! My first pregnancy it took me awhile before I said something blunt back to them. But really, their comments are inappropriate so why not fire back a smart remark. Then when you get home, you will be laughing not crying! Hugs to you girl, dont feel down about your weight or belly! only a few more weeks

Thank you hun!!! I love having this support group of women on here like you that are so sweet & actually make you feel a bit better. Thanks!! hugs!!
we gotta be strong a few more weeks, we're almost there. ahhh

 

[Julesillini8]

Come on June! Come on babies!
Just a side note from me, people don't stop giving you unwanted comments and opinions when baby is here. Strangers in grocery stores will somehow feel the need to comment on if your baby is dressed properly for weather, should they really use a pacifier?? Etc. I think pregnancy prepares you... You have to grow a thick skin and become bold. That way you can tell people to shove it when they feel the need to give unsolicited advise. Anyhow, just keep it in mind

 

[laceyinthesky]

People drive me nuts, too! I've been feeling really down lately as I'm already up nearly 40 pounds (eek!!! ) and I still have 6 weeks to go. Anyway today OH wanted to take some belly pics and I really didn't want to and he kept pushing it and threatened to put my weight on facebook! He immediately said he was just joking but it really pissed me off and hurt my feelings.

 

[Jess137]

And I can't say anything smart back because I'm at work - at a doctor's office where I see the same patients frequently (they're most of the ones making comments)

 

[MImom2be]

I have a similar experience, but instead of gaining weight, I have lost 67 LBS since getting pregnant! (yes, I've been tested, checked, etc... just the way this pregnancy's going and all the nausea) but it REALLY hurts me when people say, "Oh, you poor thing, you're so bloated!" or "Wow, you must've put on a ton of weight with this baby, eh?"

Finally, I've had enough...

To the weight gain questions, I usually fire back something along the lines of,

"Actually, I've lost quite a bit of weight, but unlike your twinkie gut (a sugary snack cake here in the US) my gut will go away!"

Or

"Ya know, I actually have lost a lot of weight, usually from vomiting, peeing myself, losing control of my bowels or feeling so sick I can't eat...Want to comment again about my weight and how it's any of YOUR business?"

Hell yes I will play the guilt card...Because of the weight loss, I guess I expected to feel BETTER about everything, but it just makes me MORE grumpy when people point out weight and the effect it's having on my baby. Like seriously? As if there isn't enough bullshit in my pregnancy that I need some self-important stranger telling me that my baby isn't healthy because 'mommy's too fat'. Get bent, a-hole!