So true! Some GOOD advice!

[surprisedmama]

I did not write this, but here it goes...Link to original at the end. This is so true and I wish I had read something like this before my daughter was born.

Hey Girl,

First of all, welcome. You’ve made the choice to enter into one of the oldest “clubs” in history: motherhood. Hands down, this will be the most challenging and difficult thing you will ever do, but the rewards are far greater than you could ever imagine. You will feel under appreciated, under valued, and ridiculously overworked (plus the pay is abysmal) but you won’t regret it for a second.

Now, let’s get real. I’m sure everyone you know (and many strangers) have laid upon you an overwhelming sea of parenting advice. Some good. Some not so good. And some downright C-R-A-Z-Y. Do me a favor. Throw all of that out the proverbial window. Chuck it. Even those with the best of intentions have no idea what is best for you and your baby. Only you know what will work best for you , your family, and your ever changing situation. Also, any advice that is followed by “well it worked for my kids and they turned out fine” is usually advice you file under the “take with a grain of salt” header.

In fact, take all advice with a grain of salt. Even what any so-called “expert” says. Once again, no one knows what is best for you and your baby except you.

Trust yourself. A mother’s instincts are primal. We are hard wired to know in our gut what is best for our babies. It’s crazy! Now, instincts aren’t the nagging voice in your head of the well-meaning friend or family member who doesn’t know when to say when with the judgey advice. It’s your own mama voice. You grew this baby. You made a person. You got this.

Don’t let other people’s judgment get the best of you. When you are a parent, everyone is going to judge every choice you make. It’s just the way it is. Usually, the people that judge us the most critically are people closest to us…or people who do not have children. Strangers will judge you too. Know that people are judging you, and let it go. It doesn’t matter what they think. Remember, judgment is based in our own insecurities. So what if people judge you?

Don’t be too judgey of other moms either. No mom out there is going to parent just like you. Everyone has bad days, and that mom yelling at her kids in Target very well might be you in 5 years. No one is perfect. No one has all the answers. So, get off your own high horse and bite your tongue before bashing another mom. True, we all do it, but it’s so ugly. Recognize that being judgmental is an ugly shade on anyone. Let other’s choices be their own and stop worrying about how they’re doing it “wrong” and focus on how to do right by your child. Ya heard?

Don’t worry about everything so much. Kids will get hurt. Kids will hurt you. As a mother, it’s not your job to shelter your child from the world, but to take their hand and show them all the world has to offer. Worry is totally natural and as a mother you will always worry about your children to some degree. But don’t let the worry of what “might be” affect the here and now. It’s a thin line between worry and totally neurotic. Only allow information into your noggin that benefits you (and your child) without adding to more worry. Worry is a cycle that’s hard to get out of. Take a step back from all the “what ifs” and take it one day at a time

Guilt: The harshest of a mother’s emotions. It’s inevitable that you will feel guilty about various things throughout your journey as a mother. Reflect on your guilt as it exposes itself, but release it soon after. It’ll cripple you. There are never enough hours in the day to be everything to our children. Just be the very best you can be. Being a mom is something you have to work hard at every single day. and even on days when you try your hardest you’ll still fail on some level. That’s fine. In fact, that’s perfect. Sure, no one likes to fail…but aren’t failures how we learn and grow into better versions of ourselves? Yea, it totally is.

Be honest. If you need help, ask for it. If you need a break, find a way to take one. Don’t lose sight of yourself; who you are and why you are special. Being a great mom starts with taking care of yourself. We can’t care for others if we can’t take care of ourselves. Treat yo self. Girl, you deserve it.

Don’t focus on being the best mom out of all the moms in the world. You will fail…and get really bummed. Focus on being the best version of yourself for your child. The person you were before having children is very different than the person you will become after having kids (as well it should be). Before kids, we’re all selfish and self absorbed. After kids, you’re more selfless and child-absorbed. Your friends without kids will NOT get this until they have kids of their own. That’s ok.

Understand that motherhood changes you, but it doesn’t change who you are at your core. Don’t lose sight of yourself.

Don’t let others make parenting decisions for you. This one is huge. Put your foot down when it comes to what you want for your child and your family. You will never regret doing (or saying) what you feel is the best choice…even if it means someone else might feel put out. When you’re a mom, no one else matters like the family that you create. It may piss people off, but so what? Putting your foot down about anything is one if the greatest things you can do for your child and yourself. You’re the boss now. Own it.

You are a warrior. You made a person (and brought said person into this world). You got this, sister.

Love,

Abbie

https://blog.happybambino.com/2013/06/05/advice-for-the-first-time-mother/

 

[zanDark]

This is wonderful!

I hope I'll remember most of it when LO gets here and I freak out about not knowing what to do with a newborn

 

[surprisedmama]

This is wonderful!

I hope I'll remember most of it when LO gets here and I freak out about not knowing what to do with a newborn

Thank you!

I remember my mom telling me about my first bath at home. She said we both kind of stared at each other and she started crying and said "I don't know what I'm doing kiddo, but we'll get through it together." I thought she was nuts until I brought home DD for the first time.

But, really, you get through it together. Every baby is different and it's a learning experience each and every time. I have no doubt this baby will throw me for a loop somewhere!