so upset ..Any single mums friends with FOB??

[kaths101]

Am I being unrealistic in saying that FOB and I still want to be friends...

Oh gosh what a sad day - Ive been in tears non stop since last night.. My OH and I are splitting up

Its not a total surprise to me, i've seen it coming the last few months. He is 23 and im 33 and he feels he has got too much too soon, there is absolutely no-one else involved but things have just kinda fizzled out.
He wants to live on his own but still be involved with Jack (who is only 6 months old ) as much as he is now - I totally believe him and we will have 50/50 on everything as I work full time so my OH will have Jack when I dont etc..

We are like best friends though, we are both in tears - its so upsetting... is it possible to stay best friends do you think? or are we living in a fantasy world... We want to still do things together and go for days out with Jack - stay civilised etc.. all that will be different is that my OH will live in a different house..

I guess it could all go *** up when one of us meets someone new but i guess we cross that bridge when we come to it..

So single mum I am now!!
I feel so sad and disappointed for Jack I didnt want this for him, I wanted him to have a brother or sister - i was so positive he would have a mum and dad who lived together but I guess **** happens!!

I cant stop crying

 

[george83]

i don't know about the friends side of things but just wanted to send you massive hugs i think it would be lovely if it was something you could do and even if it only lasts until one of you meets somebody else at least you know you tried your hardest.

 

[Jinty]

Sorry to hear this

I think it depends on both of you. I wouldn't say best friends you will both need to move on and if you end up getting new partners they may find that awkward.

Its great you want to say as friends but end of the day your still going to be each others ex's as well.

I always thought i could stay friends with my FOB. I tried my hardest but it really depends on if you both work together.

You don't really hear a lot about ex's staying friends.

My opinion anyway x

 

[cherry_pie]

I was very amicable even though my husband walked out 2 days before christmas on me and our 5 month old baby. I packed up a suitcase, took down our stockings, packed my sons presents away and moved to my parents. I still wanted to stay on speaking terms for the same of our son however he turned into such a cold, bitter person that that just wasnt possible. I wanted to keep things relaxed about him seeing our son but have had to pin down set days as he was just doing what suited him. He wont even take our boy for 2 nights for me to go away for a competition (sports) even though i gave 3 months notice. Anyway, enough of a rant, i hope things turn out better for you than me but apparantly they change after the split a lot of the time and it's not always possible. *hugs*

 

[Rhio92]

We've tried to be friends, but it just makes it hurt longer Plus his idea of friends is to bitch about me and make me look like a right cow to his girlfriend, but then come crying to me when he wants something.

 

[dustbunny]

I tried to be friends with FOB but his immature, controlling, emotional bullying and lying ways but pay to that. You can only give so much before you decide it's enough.

Having said that, if both parties try then I think it could be possible.

 

[lizardbreath]

Were currently friends still but its still fresh only broke up two month ago. But we take one day a week and still have "family" time with the girls because in the end i just want what's best for them as does their father

 

[Ceejay123]

It might be hard, and you might need some distance for a while... But it's amazing that you want to be friends... Or at least civil for the sake of your child. My parents had a very hard time of it when I was a baby and they split up... Now, however, they manage to be friends and it makes it so much easier for me. For example, I can have them both at my LO's christening. I definitely think ex's with children should be civil. x

 

[ZombieQueen]

My FOB and I are married and since he met someone else, I was forced to move back in with my parents... all the way in Hawaii, he's in Oregon still.. He wants to remain friends, so I told him as long as he pays my phone bill we will be in contact, but if he doesn't then he can contact me through my mother (I don't want to give him my number if I get a new phone as I don't like sitting and waiting for him to text or call..) I still love him, even after he treated me terribly, lied and cheated during my pregnancy.. I'm finding it difficult to remain friends, I hurt more when he doesnt call.. I know he's going out with other women.. I just don't like it, but I can't bring myself to shut him out.. Part of me wishes he'd vanish from my life until I'm good and over him... if you can make it work as friends, great.. but for me.. it's truly a struggle and I personally wish I was strong enough to make a clean break..

 

[Snowball]

I made it clear to my ex DH that 'friends' was off the cards for us. I know realistically after he cheated and left me and the kids I could never be happy for him like I would for say, my BFF.

I still see him but I don't consider him a friend. A real friend doesn't go around heartlessly hurting people the way he does.

 

[mwaah]

Sorry to hear you are going through this. My hubby left in January and we said we would remain friends. He came over every weekend and stayed to see his son.

Then in April he got a gf and everything changed, I was very hurt to start with as his reason for splitting he wanted to live a single life.
His visits to his son have stopped and so has his money.

I really do hope you can remain friends but it hurts alot and men's emotions work differently to a woman's. Good luck xxx

 

[Char&Bump-x]

I wouldn't say me and my FOB are friends, but we are friendly, when he comes to pick up/drop off K we'll chat about our weekend/family/gossip

It took a long time, but now a year after we broke up we're both 100% over each other and it is SO much easier to get on with each other now

 

[fl00b]

FOB and I are still "friends" ...i think it's more forced than anything though. personally if i wasn't pregnant with his baby, i'd want to stay away as far away from him as possible - but for finny's sake i still talk to him. he claims he wants to get back together still but he practically disowned me when i said i was pregnant and said i wasn't gonna 'fuck his life up for him by having this baby' and then after we split i found out he was constantly cheated on me throughout the relationship.
i hope you find something which works for the both of you, and your baby

 

[Stacey89]

I was actually engaged to my babies daddy. We were supposed to get married June 2nd that just past, we split just after Christmas.

Honestly he is my best friend. He doesn't take our daughter who is now 12 months to his place because he has roommates and I live on my own. So I let him sleep on my couch so he can spend more time with our daughter.

Ya it is hard to split especially with a child but honestly it is whats best for your little one. If you aren't meant to be you can't force it. Your child needs to see a functioning relationship and romance and love. A childs parents are their relationship role models.

My ex-fiance and I became friends in our relationship so we carried that one after we broke up. But I admit at first there was very tense feelings, we still had sexual tension and what not. But in our situation once I went on my first date it broke that tension and it was like closure for us. Not saying thats the case for everyone but for us that helped when I started dating.

 

[JHsmom]

I sure hope so. My boyfriend, also 23, "doesn't want to settle down yet". If it weren't for the fact that we share a bed in a tiny studio and he knows it is going to make me sad, he would have already moved on. He still loves me, says he's attracted to me, and treats me like a princess but he needs freedom and no matter how much space I give him, it's not enough. It is so hard :'( I'm hoping that as long as we both remain understanding that we can keep our friendship and family.
Stay strong and things will get better